


Fire & Ice

by WinchestersRaven



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Archaeologist Castiel, Blow Jobs, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Bottom Jimmy/Top Dean, Castiel and Dean in Love, Castiel and Jimmy Novak Are Twins, Complete, Dom/sub Undertones, M/M, Men in love, Mild Angst with a happy ending, Oral Sex, Paramedic!Dean, Rimming, Switch Castiel, Switch Dean, Switching, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, no threesomes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-08 06:26:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 71,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4294185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinchestersRaven/pseuds/WinchestersRaven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eight months into dating Jimmy Novak, Dean meets Castiel, Jimmy's twin that he didn't know existed. The word shocked doesn't truly cover how he feels about this discovery. Betrayed may be a more accurate word, which doesn't help their already shaky relationship.</p><p>Dean befriends Castiel and the more they get to know each other, the more he finds himself falling hard for the man who has his boyfriend’s face, but is different in so many ways.<br/><br/>Author’s note: Dean doesn’t cheat in this fic. There is no three-way with Dean and the twins.<br/><br/>Please excuse any errors. I have an editor now and they will be taken care of ASAP. There may be minor errors until then.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> I know little about being a paramedic so if I get anything wrong I apologize in advance.  
> I may have missed little errors so if you see one I'm sorry. I'll fix them tomorrow.  
> Let me know what you think.
> 
> There is Dean/Jimmy smut in this chapter (I'm not that great at smut). Basically, I want to show you how he is with Jimmy so you can tell the difference when he finally does get with Cas.

Dean walks into his apartment after a long shift, tossing his keys and cell on the table by the door, he’s still on call, but this is his downtime. His body is screaming for rest, but he's too wired for that. Heading to his room, he changes into a well-worn pair of jeans and his favorite AC/DC shirt. Rolling his neck side to side, he walks back out to the kitchen. Glancing over at the time on the microwave he sees he has about an hour to get dinner ready before Jimmy gets home.

Thoughts of the man with dark hair and ocean blue eyes cause a smile cross his face. Dean and Jimmy met a year and a half ago when Dean moved into the building. The other tenants threw a welcoming party and that is where their paths crossed. After a few beers and, of course, a lengthy conversation Dean was fucking Jimmy into the mattress. Just recently about eight months ago, they officially started dating. Jimmy is hilarious, intelligent, and it doesn't hurt the man is easy on the eyes. Okay so that is an understatement, Jimmy is downright sexy. 

Dean pulls out thawed hamburger meat from the refrigerator. In a pot, he boils water and throws in some salt. He grabs green bell peppers, onion, and celery chopping them, then opens a can of tomato sauce. After cutting the peppers lengthwise in half, he removes the seeds and membranes then washes them. He tosses those into the boiling water and grabs a skillet to cook the meat, onions, and celery in. Once the bell peppers were ready, he grabs a baking pan and places them in there. When the meat was brown and ready he scoops it and places a healthy amount in each of the bell pepper halves.

About that time, his brother Sam walks through the door. Dean looks over his shoulder and smiles, “Hey, Sammy, how was your day?” He places the baking pan in the preheated oven.

Sam returns Dean’s smile and shrugs, “Same shit different day. I thought you would be passed out by now. A twenty-four-hour shift is nothing to sneeze at.”

Dean nods his head, “Yeah, well tell my mind that. I’m wired for sound, man.”

His brother gives him a look of concern, “You really need to see a doctor about your insomnia, Dean.”

“That’s not happening, Sam. I’m fine. It’s just how my body has always worked.” He says as he leans back against the counter.

“Well, look, Aaralynn is coming over tonight.”

“You don’t have to ask, Sam. I’ll clear out after dinner is over. The last thing I want to hear is you screwing your girlfriend,” he says with a wink. “Go get changed and then make a salad will ya? I know how you like to balance out a meal with your rabbit food.”

Sam sails past him shaking his head. “You like salad too; you’re just too stubborn to admit it.”

Dean’s cell chirps letting him know he has a message. He washes his hands and walks over to check it. Sliding his finger over the screen to unlock it, he pulls up the message app. It's from Jimmy.

Text from Jimmy: I just got off work; traffic is bad. I’ll be running late as per usual.

Text from you: Dallas gridlock at its finest.

Text from Jimmy: I’ve missed you, see you soon babe.

Text from you: Me too. Now put the phone away. I’ve had to help scrape teens off the highway for texting and driving.

Text from Jimmy: I’m a doctor Dean. I’ve seen the same if not worse.

Text from you: Put the phone away. I’ll see you when you get here.

Dean slides the phone in his pocket and walks to the fridge to grab a beer. “Sammy, you want a beer?”

“Yeah,” Sam answers right behind him causing Dean to jump damn near out of his skin.

“Jesus, you scared the hell outta me,” Dean says as he turns around with the beer in his hand. He gives it to Sam and grabs another for himself. “How is it possible that you make no noise when you walk? You’re a damn Sasquatch!”

There is a knock on the door and Sam walks over to answer it. Aaralynn walks in and Sam wraps his arms around her waist, picking her up off the floor in a hug. He gives her a few pecks on the lips and then puts her back on her feet.

Dean smiles at her, “Lynn, looking beautiful as always,” he says and walks over to give her a hug.

She kisses his cheek and pulls back, “Trying to charm the pants off me, Dean?”

A smirk crosses Dean’s face, “Nah, just trying to make your panties drop. You know, since you’re  _not_  wearing pants.”

She playfully smacks his arm and smiles. Sam, of course, does not look amused. “Oh come on, Sam. Your brother’s just teasing. Aren’t you, Dean?”

Wanting to get a rise of out Sam he says, “I’ll never understand why you picked Sam over me. I’m the finer Winchester after all.”

“I won’t argue with that.” She laughs at the face Sam makes and walks over to him. “I'm teasing. You know you have my heart, baby.”

Sam leans in and kisses her soundly. “I know. Besides, you don’t have the equipment that Dean prefers.”

Dean walks back to the kitchen, grabbing a beer for Aaralynn. “Sammy, the salad’s not gonna make itself.” He pulls plates out of the cabinet and starts setting the table.

* * *

 Jimmy arrives just as Dean is pulling the stuffed bell peppers out of the oven. “Something smells good,” he says as he perches his aviators on the top of his head. He walks over and puts his arms around Dean’s waist. “You didn’t have to cook, sweetheart. I know you have to be tired from work. Have you slept?” Jimmy presses a kiss behind Dean’s ear.

“You know the answer to that. I was too wired after work,” Dean answers and twists around in Jimmy’s arms. He presses his cheek against Jimmy’s and inhales. The older man smells like recently fallen snow blanketing the ground on a cold day, and peppermint, the man constantly has a peppermint in his mouth.

Jimmy moves and puts his forehead against Dean’s, “You should see a doctor about that, Dean,” he says; lowering his voice an octave; a low rumble that makes Dean shiver.

Dean grins, “I just so happen to be looking at one. So doc, you wanna give me a check up?”    

Sam groans from the table, “Save the foreplay for after dinner when you’re in Jimmy’s apartment.”

“Are you jealous, Sam? I’m sure I have room in my schedule to work you in for a prostate exam.” Jimmy says after blowing a kiss at Sam from where he is standing.  Sam chokes on his beer, which makes Dean, Jimmy, and Aaralynn laugh. Dean smacks Jimmy on the ass.

Shaking his head, Sam huffs a laugh and says, “You’re not a proctologist, Jimmy.”

Jimmy sits down at the table, “True, but I went to medical school. And I know my way around-”

Sam puts his hands over his ears, “Don’t finish that sentence, Jimmy. I don’t want to know if my brother tops or bottoms.”

“Jimmy, don’t scar Sam. We can’t afford to pay for years of therapy,” Dean says as he hands Jimmy a beer and sits at the table. ”You break him, you pay to fix him.”

* * *

After dinner, Dean and Jimmy walk to Jimmy’s apartment. As soon as the door closes, Dean slams Jimmy up against it. His mouth immediately goes to the older man’s tan neck, knowing the exact spot to hit. Dean isn’t up for much foreplay so he works his magic. Dean’s teeth clamp down hard, but not hard enough to leave a mark tomorrow. His hands find their way to Jimmy’s shirt and he rips it off the man.

“Fuck, Dean.” Jimmy groans as his hands run up the back of Dean’s neck to his hair, grabbing a handful.

Dean pulls back and looks into blue eyes, “That’s the idea. Bed.  _Now_.” Without hesitation, Jimmy walks into the bedroom and finishes undressing. Dean follows him and leans up against the doorjamb watching. “You’re so sexy, babe,” Dean says as he drags his eyes over the other man and strips down to his boxers. He walks over to the bed, crawling up by Jimmy. Dean puts his hand out and the older man reaches over to the bedside table for the lube. He grabs it and hands it to Dean. The cap opens with a pop and Dean squirts the liquid on his fingers, dropping it on the bed then he nudges Jimmy’s legs. They spread, giving Dean access to the man’s entrance. Dean rubs a digit over the ring of muscle and pushes in slowly. Jimmy hisses at the intrusion. Dean works his digit in and out twisting it. He kisses the other man’s thigh and runs his tongue along the soft skin.  Feeling Jimmy’s body relax Dean quickly adds a second finger. He starts scissoring them to open the man up; with a twist of his wrist, he runs his fingers over the bundle of nerves. Jimmy arches his back and cries out.

“Does that feel good, babe?” Dean asks as Jimmy starts fucking himself on Dean’s fingers.

“Mmm… fuck…” Jimmy moans, grabbing the comforter in his hands. Another finger works its way inside the man, twisting, search for the sweet spot again. When Dean finds it, he drags his fingers across it slowly. A string of curses escapes Jimmy’s mouth. Dean quickens his pace, pushing and pulling his fingers in and out. “Dean… I need it now…” the other man moans.

Dean moves to lays on his back, "Ride me." Jimmy grabs a condom out of the table and rips it open. He rolls it down Dean’s length and adds more lube. Jimmy straddles Dean, positions Dean’s cock over his hole, and sinks down slowly.

“Fuck… so tight, babe…” Dean groans when he’s fully seated inside the warmth of Jimmy. He grabs Jimmy’s hips as the man starts rocking his body. “Mmm… yeah... so good.” With a roll of the older man’s hips, Dean arches his back, digging his nails into Jimmy’s hips.

Dean pulls one of his hands off Jimmy’s hip and moves it to the man’s cock. He times his strokes to match Jimmy’s rhythm and soon the room fills with gasps and moans. His eyes slip closed and he is lost to the sweet heat wrapped around his cock. Dean’s balls tighten and he feels the familiar heat pool in his stomach. He strokes Jimmy faster and the man’s movements become erratic.  The older man comes with a shout and as his body clenches Dean tumbles over the edge a few seconds later. Jimmy all but falls on Dean’s chest and lays there until their heartbeats and breathing settles to a somewhat normal pace. Jimmy pulls himself off Dean and hisses. He walks into the bathroom attached to his room, grabs a washcloth and wets it. Jimmy walks back in the room and cleans the come off Dean’s chest.  

Dean phone starts ringing he rolls off the bed to find his jeans. Picking them up, he reaches into his pocket, pulling out the device. It’s work calling, he swipes his finger quickly across and puts it up to his ear.

“Dean Winchester,” he says.

“We have five car pileup,” Benny’s gruff voice comes over the line.

“I’m heading out now.”

“No time, brother, Charlie is three minutes from your apartment.”

“Alright,” he replies and ends the call. He grabs his jeans again that he left fall after grabbing his phone. “I gotta go, Jimmy.” He pulls on his jeans, not bothering to find his boxers. He grabs his shirt, pulls it over his head and walks over to his boyfriend.

Jimmy nods his head and kisses Dean quickly on the lips. “Be careful.”

Dean turns, “I always am,” and rushes out of the room. Closing the apartment door, he sprints down the long hallway and pushes open the door to the stairwell. He takes them down two at a time for two flights. When he rounds the corner, he sees Charlie’s black Ford F-150 sitting outside the glass doors, Dean pushes open the door and quickly walks to the passenger door. It’s hot and humid outside even though it’s after ten. That’s Texas weather for you, hot and sticky summers. He hops up into the cab after opening the door. Once it’s closed, Charlie pulls back onto the road.     

* * *

 

The scene of the accident on highway 183 and 161 is as bad as it sounded on the phone. An Audi A7 tried to get in the right lane to take the 161 exit. When the driver moved into the lane, he didn’t see the car beside him. The Audi slammed into the other car and sent it spinning into traffic. The fire department managed to extinguish a fire when an Acura TLX caught flames. Luckily the family had been moved to safety.

Dean kneels down by a young girl with blonde hair; she couldn’t be more than fifteen. Tears are streaming down her face and Dean can see the fear in her eyes. When she tries to move he says, “Hey my name is Dean. I need you to be real still, can you do that for me?”

The girl moves her eyes and searches all around her. “Yes, where are my parents,” she asks through her tears.

“They're in one of the ambulances.”

Her eyes grow wide, “Are… t-they okay?”

“I’m sure they are. What’s your name,” he asks.

Benny steps beside her with the backboard in hand, “She was complaining of neck and upper back pain.”

Dean looks at the girl again wanting to distract her. “What is your name,” he asks again.

“Amarie,” she answers; her eyes watching Benny closely. Dean explains they are going to move her to the board and then get her on a gurney and into a waiting ambulance. 

Once the girl is in the ambulance Dean hops up into the back and moves forward by Amarie’s head. Charlie follows behind him as Dean checks the girl’s vitals and enters the information into the computer. He moves up more to give Charlie room to run the I.V.

“Hey, hon, I’m Charlie, I’m a paramedic. Can I run an I.V. on you?”

The girl gives her consent and Charlie gets to work. After Charlie is done, Dean taps twice on the window to let the EMT know they are ready. On the way to the hospital, Charlie communicates the staff about the patient’s condition and fills them in on everything they’ve done. Amarie’s hazel eyes flick to Dean’s face. He offers her a soft smile.

“Am I going to be okay,” she asks voice just above a whisper.

“Of course, you are. You’re in good hands here,” he replies.

* * *

After finishing paperwork, Dean catches a ride back home with Benny. He desperately wants his bed and a nice long nap. Benny tries to make small talk, but Dean really doesn’t hear a word of it. His long time friend pulls up outside Dean’s apartment and tells Dean to get some sleep. Dean nods his head and thanks him for the ride then heads inside and up the stairs. He unlocks his door and doesn’t bother turning on the light, he knows the layout of the apartment well. Sam’s light is off and the place is silent so Dean heads into his room. He strips his clothes off and crawls in bed. Placing his phone on the charger, he pulls the sheet up over his waist. His phone chirps and Dean almost ignores it. He reaches over, grabs the phone and unlocks it. He sees the text is from Jimmy. It doesn’t surprise him, Jimmy usually texts him when he is called out.

Text from Jimmy: Everything okay?

Text from you: Yeah, just got home.

Text from Jimmy: You should get some sleep babe.

Text from you: Already in bed. Tired as hell.

Text from Jimmy: Goodnight, I love you.

Text from you: Me too. Goodnight.

He locks the phone again and places it back on the table. Dean rolls over on his side and grabs the other pillow, holding it close to his chest. His muscles are sore; he is really getting too old for this shit. Well, he feels that way, at least. He turns twenty-eight in a few months and Dean isn’t looking forward to it. Maybe everyone will forget this time. Yeah, fat chance of that happening. Dean could tell them he doesn’t want to celebrate it. But knowing his friends and especially his brother they won’t listen. He stretches one last time and yawns deep. His eyes flutter shut and Dean’s brain kicks into overtime.

Three weeks ago, Jimmy asked Dean to move in with him. Dean declined the offer; not wanting to move too fast with the next step in their relationship. He cares for Jimmy and enjoys spending time with him. But he didn’t feel the time was right for them. Hell, Dean wasn’t sure if the time would ever be right. It caused a big fight between the two men and Jimmy didn’t talk to him for three days. Dean finally gave in and went to Jimmy’s apartment when the man arrived home from work. He explained his feelings on the situation and, this time, Jimmy didn’t overreact. They made up but their relationship was still rocky even now.  

Dean groans and rolls onto his right side punching his pillow to fluff it. Finally, sleep overtakes him and his dreams are of a man with a bright smile and blue eyes.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any errors I'll fix them later :) I hope you like this chapter.

“Damn it, Jimmy, why are you bringing this up again,” Dean asks as he stands in the kitchen pouring a glass of tea. “I’m not ready for that step in our relationship. I thought we’ve talked about this.”

A sigh comes from the other end of the line, “We did. I still don’t see why you’re hesitating.”

Dean switches the phone from one ear to the other. “Jimmy please I’m just not… I just.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Look, how about I make dinner at your place and we talk, okay?

“Dean, you just got off a twenty-four-hour shift. You need to sleep, not cook.”

“I don’t  _need_  to do anything. I’m off the next seventy-two hours. You don’t want me to cook,  _fine_. I’ll order in, Chinese good?”

“I still think you should rest, Dean.”                         

“I’ll rest later. I’m ordering the food. See you when you get off work.”

“I love you, Dean.”

Dean ends the call. He cares for the man, but he doesn’t know if he loves him or not. He places the phone on the cabinet and puts his head in his hands. Why does this have to be so hard? Why does anything have to change? Things were going great and then Jimmy had to ask him to make a big step in their relationship. One that he certainly isn't ready to take and isn't sure he ever will be.

Dean’s family life wasn’t picture perfect, but he really couldn’t complain about it. His father, a Dallas County detective, died when he was ten in the line of duty. His mother worked her fingers to the bone after his father’s death to keep their family fed and clothed. She passed when Dean was fifteen in a car accident. A drunk driver hit her on the way home from work. Their father’s friend Ellen took them in after that. His mother’s death pushed Dean into pursuing a career in the medical field.

Lifting his head, Dean takes a drink of his tea and lets out a deep breath. He honestly doesn’t know what he’s going to do? As if on cue, Sam walks through the door.

“Hey,” Sam says as he closes the door. Dean meets his brother’s eyes and tries to give him a smile. Sam as always can see right through him. “Dean, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, Sammy. I just have a lot on my mind.” Dean walks to the couch and sits down. He grabs a Chinese restaurant menu out of a drawer it’s one of the few around that delivers. His eyes scan it, but he really can’t concentrate on it.

Sam grabs a beer from the refrigerator, walks over to the couch and sits down near his brother. “Talk to me.”

“It’s nothing, really, Sam it’s nothing,” Dean replies shifting down further on the couch and leans his head back against it.

“You’re bullshitting me, Dean. I’ve known you my whole life.” Sam brings his knee up on the cushion and turns so he can face his brother.

“It’s just… It’s Jimmy, okay. He asked me a month ago to move in with him, I said no. We had a fight. I know you remember that.”

Sam nods, “and,” he prompts Dean to continue.

“We made up, but things haven’t been the same. Then today he called me and asked again.” Dean pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m not ready for that kind of commitment.”

“I understand. Have you told him how you feel? I’m sure he will listen.”

“I did and apparently, he didn’t hear me. Or he did and he just doesn’t get it.” Dean sighs and looks at the menu again.

“So what are you going to do,” Sam asks and his hazel eyes meet Dean’s.

“We are having dinner at his place tonight.”

Sam gives Dean a pat on the shoulder, “Just tell him exactly how you feel. I know that’s kind of hard for you, but just try. Good luck.”

Dean smiles an authentic smile this time, “Thanks, Sammy. I’ll need it.”

* * *

Dean unlocks the door to Jimmy’s apartment and walks inside. The food will be there in twenty minutes so he has to meet the delivery person. He grabs a beer out of the fridge and walks into the living room. Dean is just about to sit down on the couch when Jimmy walks out of the hallway.

“I thought you would still be in traffic,” Dean says as he walks over, wrapping his arm around Jimmy’s waist and kisses him. The older man stiffens in his arms and, at first, doesn’t return the kiss. Thinking Jimmy’s still pissed at him for the phone conversation Dean adds a little more feeling into it. Jimmy’s body relaxes and starts to kiss Dean back. Dean runs his tongue across the other man’s lips they part, allowing Dean to deepen their kiss. Their tongues meet; it feels like lightening is flowing through Dean’s veins. His stomach, like flames of desire threatening to burn him to his very core, but something is off about this kiss, Jimmy starts dominating it.

Dean breaks the kiss, pulling back, but leaves his arms around Jimmy. He huffs a laugh, “What’s gotten into you? Not saying I don’t like it, because I definitely do.” The older man steps back and the look on his face is one that’s best described as confusion and lust.

“Who are you?” Jimmy asks, only it doesn’t sound like Jimmy. The voice is more deep and rough. His voice sounds like a torrential downpour hitting a tin roof. It feels like a punch to Dean’s stomach, but sends waves of  _need_  and  _want_  through his body.

Dean shakes the feeling off and steps back a few steps. “I think the question should be who the fuck are you?”

The man tilts his head and smiles, “I believe I asked you first.”

Dean runs his hand over his mouth. “Yeah, well I’m not the one standing there looking like my boyfriend, but you’re definitely not Jimmy.”

“You’re right I’m not,” the man says and crosses his arms over his chest.

Dean’s irritation flares. “Then who are you? Or what are you, a shifter?”

The man huffs a laugh, “A shifter? Like the legend?” 

Dean nods his head, “Yeah, like the legend."

He shakes his head, “No, I believe the correct term would be an identical twin.”

"Jimmy doesn’t have a brother. Let alone a twin brother. He would have told me.”

“Well, I can assure you I am his brother.”

The door opens and both men turn to see Jimmy walking in with food. Jimmy doesn’t look up as he walks over to the kitchen table and places the bag on it. “I ran into the delivery guy outside,” he says as he loosens his tie. Jimmy finally looks in Dean’s direction and the smile on his face disappears. His eyes move from Dean to the man standing beside him. “Castiel, I wasn’t expecting you until Friday. You’ve arrived early. Why didn’t you call?”

Dean steps forward not allowing Castiel to speak, “Why didn’t you tell me you have a brother?”

Jimmy moves forward to touch Dean, but younger man sidesteps out of his reach. “Dean, let’s talk about this in the bedroom.”

Dean crosses his arms and leans up island that separates the kitchen from the living room. “No. We'll talk about it right here.”

Jimmy looks over at his brother who nods and walks out the door leaving the two alone. “I-I…” he starts and then moves over and sits down in one of the chairs at the table. “I didn’t tell you about Castiel because I thought you would never meet him. He moved away after our twenty-ninth birthday, five years ago. He went to Paris and we didn’t talk to each other until two weeks ago.”

“Let me get this straight. You didn’t mention your brother because he moved away. Yet, you expect me to move in with you even though you kept this from me?”

Jimmy clenches his hands and then relaxes them, “Things were strained between my brother and I. I didn’t think it was important.”

“You didn’t think it was  _important_? You have an  _identical twin_  brother and you didn’t think that was important?” Dean starts pacing back and forth. He tends to do that when he is pissed, but trying to control his anger. “The fact that you  _have_  a brother is important. It’s important to  _me_  like it  _should_ be to you.”

Jimmy stands up, “Dean…”

Dean walks to the door and opens it. He doesn’t bother turning around as he says, “He’s your family, Jimmy. You don’t forget family.” Then he walks out, slamming the door behind him. Dean makes it to his door and turns back around noticing Castiel outside of Jimmy’s apartment. Over his shoulder he says, “It was nice meeting you, Castiel.” He opens the door, walks inside and shuts the door behind him.

* * *

Castiel stands outside the door to his brother’s apartment. He tries to ignore the muffled voices drifting through the wooden door.  _What a lovely, fucking day this has turned out to be._ Castiel decided two weeks ago to come back to the states. He was finally ready to be back on American soil. What he wasn’t ready for was the green eyed man who kissed him senselessly. He walks back in his brother’s apartment. Jimmy looks over at him and motions to the food. Castiel sits down at the table and they begin to eat.

Half way through Castiel finally speaks up. “It’s good to see you, Jimmy.” He pushes his plate back and leans back in the chair.

Jimmy's eyes meet his brothers. “I honestly didn’t think you were coming back, Castiel.”

“I wasn’t planning on it, but I needed to come home. I wanted to come earlier, but the wounds were too fresh.”

“Castiel, I’m truly sorry for what happened with Michael. I should have known better.”

“I’ve forgiven Michael, not for him, but for myself. I will not carry that pain around any longer. It made me bitter far too long.” Jimmy offers his brother a glass of wine and Castiel accepts. He takes a big gulp which he normally wouldn't do, but he needed it for what he was about to say next. “I’ve forgiven you also, Jimmy, for the both of us. I want my brother back in my life.”

Castiel and Jimmy grew up in a prominent strict religious family. When Castiel came out to his parents, at the age of sixteen, they were not happy with his blatant disregard for their beliefs. He was allowed to remain in the home as long as he agreed not to date guys while there. Even though Castiel knew Jimmy was gay as well, his brother never told their parents. They went to their grave with the belief that Jimmy was the perfect son. The brothers were always close, each other’s best friend. That is until Castiel met Michael Christensen while attending college. After graduating, they started dating. Castiel fell hard for Michael and could see himself spending the rest of his life with the man.

They dated for three and a half years until the day Jimmy and Michael confessed to having an affair. Michael told Castiel he was in love with Jimmy and wanted to be him. It shattered Castiel’s heart, but he wasn’t going to stand in their way. So six months later Castiel boarded a plane destined for Paris.

“I would like that as well, Castiel. You know, I left Michael six months after you left. I loved him, and deep down I still do, but I knew because of our relationship I hurt you.”

* * *

Back at his apartment, Dean paces the room. He's furious that Jimmy kept the fact he has a brother from him. Family is important to Dean. He learned that at a young age after losing his father and then his mother. All he has left is Sam. Well, correction he also has Ellen, Jo, Bobby, Charlie, and Benny as well.

Sam walks in the living room and sits down on the couch. His eyes follow Dean’s movement. “Okay, what happened?”

Dean stops and turns to his brother. “Jimmy lied to me.”

“He lied? That doesn’t sound like him. What did he lie about?”

Dean walks over and plops down on the couch. “He has a brother, Sammy, a twin brother, same damn face and fucking blue eyes.”

Sam puts his arm on the back of the couch. “How did you find out?”

“I kissed him.”

“Kissed whom?”

“Castiel, Jimmy’s brother,” Dean answers as he lays his head on the back of the couch. He stares up at the ceiling waiting for one of Sam’s trademark lectures. Instead, all he hears is laughter coming from his younger brother.

He picks his head up and glares at Sam. “What’s so funny?”

Sam runs a hand through his hair. “How do you get yourself in these situations?”

Dean pushes himself off the couch and makes his way into the kitchen. He flings open the refrigerator door, grabs a beer, popping the top, and chugs back half the bottle. “How is this my fault,” he asks after he swallows down the cold drink. “They have the same face!”

“Did Jim explain why he didn’t tell you about Castiel?”

Dean leans against the cabinet, his eyes looking down at the floor. “Some bullshit excuse about Castiel moving to Paris five years ago. Said he didn’t think it was important that I know.”

Sam stands up, “Sounds like there’s a story behind that.”

“When did you get so smart, Sammy?”

The younger Winchester huffs a laugh, “Oh, you know, the day I was born. I’m heading to Aaralynn’s.”

Dean grin, “Give her a big wet sloppy kiss from me.”

Sam looks over his shoulder, “Screw you, jerk.”

“Bite me, bitch,” Dean says and then laughs when the door closes behind his brother.

* * *

 

Two hours later, Dean is sitting in front of the television watching Dr. Sexy MD. It’s a guilty pleasure of his. He is deep into an episode when there is a knock at the door. He pauses the show and goes to answer it.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel says.

Dean moves to the side to allow Castiel in. “Anything I can help you with, Castiel?”

“Can we talk,” Castiel asks as he brushes past Dean.

“Sure. Would you like a beer,” Dean asks as he walks to the refrigerator.

“Beer is fine unless you have whiskey.”

Dean closes the door and moves to the cabinet where he keeps the liquor. “Whiskey it is. Your brother doesn’t drink the hard stuff. Take a seat on the couch.” He grabs the bottle of Jim Beam and two glasses. “Do you drink it straight?”

Castiel sits down on the couch, “I don’t do anything ‘straight’. I haven’t since I was sixteen.” He laughs when Dean looks over his shoulder at him. “I don’t mix whiskey.”

“If that was an attempt at humor, you need to work on it,” Dean says as he walks back in the living room with both glasses filled halfway with the amber liquid. He sits down opposite of Castiel on the couch. Dean hands a glass to Castiel and positions himself to where he is facing the other man. “So what’s up?”

Castiel chugs down the drink and looks at Dean. Damn the man is gorgeous. Meadow green eyes, short spiky brown hair, and are those freckles on his beautiful face? Fuck, they are freckles.  _He’s Jimmy’s hands off._ Castiel reminds himself. He places the glass on the coffee table and holds hands in his lap. That way there is no temptation to touch. “I want to apologize on behalf of my brother.”

Fuck, if Dean thought the man’s voice couldn’t get any deeper he was wrong. “Why?”

Castiel tilted his head to one side. Something that Dean never saw Jimmy do. Wait, why in the hell is he comparing the two men? “Dean, I understand you're upset with Jimmy.”

Dean shakes his head. “No, I’m pissed at him. Jimmy keeping the fact you even  _exist_  from me is a major thing in my book.”

Castiel’s tongue darts out to wet his lips and Dean’s eyes are immediately drawn to them. They are a lighter pink than Jimmy’s and chapped. It brings the kiss back to Dean’s memory. Even though they look rough, they were soft against Dean’s. He tries to ignore the pooling desire to taste them again.

“There are things you don’t know about us. Something that happened between us that caused me to move and not speak to him.”

Dean arches his eyebrow, “Enlighten me.”

The older man shifts on the couch. He looks past Dean’s shoulder out the bay window. With a sigh, he tells Dean about their family and the story of how he met Michael. The entire time Castiel is talking Dean notices the subtle difference between the two brothers. Jimmy stays clean-shaven while Castiel looks like he hasn’t shaved in a couple days. Dean has told Jimmy several times he likes the feel of stubble. Both brothers have the sex hair going on, but Castiel’s is a little wilder than his brother’s. They definitely have a different way of kissing. Jimmy is more submissive allowing Dean to control the kiss. Castiel demanded dominance with every slide of his tongue. As much as he tries to fight it, Dean wonders how Castiel is in the bedroom.   

Dean pushes the thought out of his mind. He presses the heel of his palm down on his cock that is now half-hard thanks to the images in his head. Thankfully, Castiel doesn’t notice, or if he did, he doesn’t say anything. When Castiel finishes speaking Dean almost misses the sound of his voice. _Fuck, why am I thinking about Castiel like this? Maybe I do need rest._

Dean huffs out a breath and runs his hand through his hair. “Look, I get the fact you two had a falling out. I honestly do. But Jimmy knows how I am about family. I’d literally sell my soul to save my brother Sam.” He takes another drink of his whiskey. “If it came down to saving the world or my family, I’m sorry but I’d destroy it to protect my own.”

Castiel smiles, “That’s highly commendable, Dean. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same as you.”

“You wouldn’t say fuck the world to save Jimmy?”

“Before I met Michael, yes I would have. While living in Paris, I lived as if I were an only child. Now? I’m not sure what I would do.” Castiel answers and his eyes meet Dean’s, locking for what seems like an eternity. Dean can see the sadness that lies beneath them. It makes him want to wrap his arms around the older man and hold him until the pain goes away. Castiel is the one who breaks the eye contact looking down to his lap.

“So what did you go to college for,” Dean asks wanting to change the subject.

“Archaeology,” he answers without looking up.

Both of Dean’s eyebrows shoot up. "You’re an archeologist? Like Indiana Jones?"

Castiel looks up and grins, "Yes, but without the Nazis and Ark of the Covenant." He laughs when he sees a look of disappointment on Dean’s face.

“How long will you be in town, Cas?”

Castiel shrugs, “Jimmy offered his spare room until I find a place of my own. Why?”

Dean nods, “I’m off tomorrow. Want to shoot pool? I’d like to get to know you more.”

The older man narrows his eyes. “Jimmy-”

“It’s not like that, Cas. I’ll ask Jimmy to come along. I might be able to talk Sasquatch into joining us.”

“Sasquatch,” Castiel ask tilting his head to the side again. Damn that man really needs to stop doing that.

Dean barks out a laugh. “Sam, my brother, you’ll see why I call him that. He’s huge.”

Castiel pushes himself off the couch. “Yeah I think I’d like that, Dean. I really should get back to Jimmy’s.”

Dean nods and gets off the couch to walk Castiel to the door. Dean leans against the doorjamb as Castiel starts to walk away. “Hey, Cas.”

Castiel turns around, “Yeah?”

Dean gives him a lazy grin, “Thank you for stopping by, and you know, explaining. I’ll get over being pissed at Jimmy, although he should apologize to me, not you. See you tomorrow.”

Castiel nods and walks away, throwing up two fingers in a gesture of goodbye. When he gets to Jimmy’s door, he turns around once more. Dean is still standing in the doorway. “Goodnight, Dean.”

“Night, Cas,” Dean says and watches until Castiel disappears behind the door. He steps back and closes out the rest of the world. He leans his back against the door and lets out a deep breath. Dean understands why Jimmy didn't tell him about Castiel now. He doesn’t like it, but he gets why his boyfriend kept it from him. It is obviously painful for both of the Novak brothers. He closes his eyes and his thoughts fill with light pink lips on his.  _Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so Castiel and Dean met ... thoughts???
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their back stories are complete works of fiction.  
> I may have missed little errors so if you see one I'm sorry. I'll fix them tomorrow.

The next day, Dean wakes up to a text from Jimmy. He walks into the kitchen and starts a pot of coffee. He looks around the living room from the kitchen and notices Sam’s stuff gone; he must already be at work. While he waits for the coffee to finish making, he goes into the bathroom, brushes his teeth and splashed his face with cold water. Dean actually fell asleep fast last night. It was hard to explain, but Dean had a peaceful feeling in his soul. Dean can’t remember a time he ever felt that way. Well, maybe when he had both his parents, but that was years ago. He isn’t sure what is different, but he has to admit he likes it.

Back in the kitchen, Dean pours himself a cup of coffee, black. Sitting down at the table, he grabs his phone to read the message again.

Text from Jimmy: We need to talk. Meet me at Dakota's Steakhouse around noon for lunch?

Dean’s eyes scan the message several times. Why the hell would Jimmy want to go to Dakota’s for lunch? The place has amazing food, he can't argue about that. But it is known more as one of the most romantic spots in Dallas. There is a multi-level waterfall outside the place, with foliage draping from anything stationary. The last thing Dean wants to do is eat there. Not for what they need to talk about.

His thumb moves over the screen to reply to the text.

Text from you: Dakota’s is a no go. Twisted Roots at one?

Text from Jimmy: Fine I’ll be there.

Looking over at the clock it shows eight thirty in the morning. He groans and stands up to pour another cup. He blows on it and takes a sip then hears a knock at the door. Dean walks over and opens it. He almost laughs when he sees Castiel standing there looking half-asleep, hair sticking up in every direction. “Need something, Cas,” he asks with a smile.

“Coffee… preferably something better than the decaf shit my brother drinks.”

Motioning for Castiel to follow him, Dean grabs another cup and pours coffee into it. “Cream or sugar?”

Castiel scrunches up his face. “Hell no. Is that even a question?”

Dean huffs a laugh and sits back down at the table across from Castiel. “I’m used to Jimmy,” he explains simply. Dean slides the cup over and the man grabs a hold of it like it’s a lifeline. Neither men talk, the silence that surrounds them is comfortable. While Castiel drinks his second cup, Dean fries up bacon and eggs. He doesn’t ask Castiel if he is hungry; he just pulls two plates from the cabinet and transfers the food to them. He grabs two forks and then the salsa out of the fridge. Dean sits down at the table and puts a plate in front of Castiel, who now looks more awake than when he first showed up.

Castiel moans with the first bite, damn if it didn’t send chills down Dean’s spine and straight to his dick. He seriously needs to get a hold of his hormones around this man. Dean lifts his eyes from his plate, fork hanging in the air mid-bite. He watches as Castiel licks his lips. The older man’s eyes meet his and it’s like there's a spark crackling in the air around them; kinda like static electricity.

“Thank you, Dean,” he says looking back down at his plate, avoiding Dean’s face.

Dean shrugs even though Castiel can’t see him. “It’s just eggs and bacon, Cas, it’s nothing special.”

Castiel looks back up and gives a small smile. “Regardless. I haven’t had home cooked breakfast in years. I usually pick something up on the go.”

They make small talk while eating; it feels completely natural. Like this is the way it should have been years ago, them together in the kitchen just enjoying the food and coffee. Castiel’s phone ringing brings them back to reality. The man stands and Dean tells him to use his room to take the call. Dean shows Castiel which one it is and then walks back into the kitchen, gathering the dirty dishes and places them in the sink. He quickly washes them; putting them in the dish rack to dry. Fifteen minutes later Castiel appears back in the room.

Castiel walks over to Dean who is leaning against the counter. “Sorry… work… looks like I’m back in the swing of things.”

Dean arches an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Yeah, there’s a big dig in Nevada.”

Dean looks down at his feet and then hums, “sounds fun.”

The older man huffs a laugh. “It can be if you’re into this stuff. Other times it's mind numbing. Cataloging our findings, keeping track of every item to make sure they don’t get stolen or lost.”

Dean turns around, moves over to the stove and starts scrubbing. “When do you leave?”

“I have to be there early Friday. So I’ll probably fly out Thursday.”

He nods his head and grabs a towel to wipe the grime up. “Cool. Will you be coming back?”

After a small stretch of silence, Castiel tilts his head to the side and answers, “Yes of course. I’ll probably be gone for two weeks unless it takes longer. Why?” 

“No reason. Just making conversation, I guess.” Dean throws the towel near the sink and turns around finally facing Castiel again. “So are we still on for a few games of pool tonight?”

Castiel nods, “I said I would go. I always follow through with plans.” He leans his hip against the island and watches Dean move about the kitchen. It’s spotless, but Dean is still cleaning. “So you know I’m an archeologist. What do you do?”

“I’m a paramedic for Dallas County,” he answers as he starts rearranging the canned food in the pantry.

The older man hums, “That’s an admirable profession. What made you go into the medical field?”

Dean doesn’t turn around instead he keeps his hands busy. “My mom passed when I was fifteen. A drunk driver killed her. It was a hit and run. The person responsible was never caught.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. And your father, what does he do?”

“He  _was_  a detective and a respected member of the county. He died in the line of duty when I was ten.” Dean finds it odd that he gives this information freely to a man just met not even twenty-four hours ago. It was four months after Jimmy started seeing Dean ‘officially’ before he found out about Dean’s parents. Even then, it wasn’t like Dean told him. He found out while he helped Dean clean the apartment. Jimmy ran over the scrapbook in the top of a closet. Jimmy didn’t ask and Dean didn’t offer any more information than what was in the articles.

“Shit, I’m sorry.”

Dean finally turns from what he was doing and shrugs. “It’s life. Sometimes you’re dealt a bad hand. I chose to take the cards that had been given and make a better life for Sam and me.”

* * *

Dean parks his baby the Impala and quickly gets out of the car. He walks up the sidewalk passing by the outdoor dining area. He looks up and sees the familiar red and white sign that proudly displays Twisted Roots Burger Co. It is one of Dean’s favorite places to eat. The restaurant has been on an episode of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives on the Food Network. The diner at one time was the Shelby Building, as in Shelby Mustang, and is now a garage-themed restaurant. That’s another thing Dean likes about the place. It’s laid back; where you can actually relax and enjoy your food. There is a bar centered in the dining area, glass garage doors, and vintage auto artifacts littered the walls of the place.

Dean walks inside and quickly finds Jimmy sitting at a table near the back. He stands up and gives Dean a soft smile as Dean approaches the table. Jimmy greets Dean with a kiss before they both sit back down and a waitress walks up to take their order. Jimmy orders the turkey cobb salad, minus the fried egg with blue cheese dressing. While Dean opts for the Southern Comfort cheddar cheeseburger, with fried green tomatoes and Bourbon BBQ glaze. Both men order a sweet tea to drink while they wait for their food.

Jimmy reaches over the table and takes Dean’s hand in his. “How has your day been?”

Dean leaves his hand in Jimmy’s just long enough before pulling it back. “Good. Uneventful, really, just cleaned.”

Sensing the tension Jimmy lets out a small breath, “So where should I start?”

Dean shakes his head. “I don’t know what you can say, Jimmy.” He sighs and takes a drink of his tea. “Cas apologized on your behalf and explained why he moved.”

Jimmy’s shoulders stiffen. “So you know about Michael then.”

“Yes. Your brother mentioned him.”

“Dean I-”

Dean holds up his hand to stop the older man from explaining. “I don’t need to hear your side.”

The man sits back in his chair, his lips a thin line. “You don’t want to know what happened or why?”

Shaking his head Dean puts his hands together on the table. “I wasn’t around back then. I’m not the one you should explain yourself to.”

“So you’re not curious about it?”

“Jimmy our problems have nothing to do with what you did in the past. You can’t help who you fall in love with.”

A couple of servers placing their food on the table interrupts the conversation. When they’re alone again, Jimmy looks up at Dean before starting on his salad. “Problems? I wasn’t aware there is anything wrong in our relationship.”

After chewing and swallowing a big bite of his burger, Dean hums. “That’s the thing. There wasn’t a problem until you asked me to move in with you.” He runs a hand over his face, “It’s not the fact you asked, it’s the fact you don’t understand I’m not ready for that.”

Jimmy stabs at a big tomato with his fork. “We’ve been sleeping together for well over a year. I thought the time was right. We have talked about settling down and possibly starting a family.”

Dean could tell this wasn’t going to be a pleasant lunch with his boyfriend. It’s true they talked about those things. Well, Jimmy talked and Dean listened. Dean has never good at communicating how he felt. But lately, he tried when he needed to. “Yeah I know and we agreed when we  _both_  felt the time was right we’d take the next step.”

Placing his fork down Jimmy wipes his mouth with a napkin. “You don’t feel the time is right?”

If it were anyone else having this conversation they wouldn’t realize the older man is upset, but Dean knows full well that he is. He's been around Jimmy enough to notice the small signs of irritation. There goes his appetite. Dean reaches out and takes Jimmy’s hand, giving him a small smile that he hopes will calm the situation down. “You know I care for you.” He squeezes his boyfriend's hand. “I just want to make sure everything is right. I don’t want to rush into this. Because… if it doesn’t work out it could destroy us. I don’t want that to happen.”

Jimmy nods and takes another bite of his salad. “I understand. I’ll back off.” They continue to eat in silence. It isn’t comfortable, but it’s not tension filled either. For that, Dean is thankful. By the time Jimmy has to get back to the hospital, Dean has to get a to-go box.

Before Jimmy gets up to leave Dean tells him about plans to go to a pool hall later that night with their brothers. Jimmy doesn’t confirm if he can go or not. He may have to work later than expected. That isn’t unusual so Dean nods and grabs his Styrofoam box. Jimmy pays their bill and they walk out of the restaurant together to Jimmy’s car. Dean backs the man up against the door and brushes their lips together. “I hope you can make it tonight,” Dean says and then grinds against his boyfriend teasingly. “I’m sure we can make the night interesting with a friendly bet.” He leans forward and nips at Jimmy’s bottom lip. “Or a sexy one, you pick.”   

* * *

The four men arrive at Rack Daddy’s Pool Hall later that night. Dean parks the Impala and gets out of the car. He watches the other men and the playful banter between Sam and Castiel. They apparently have a lot in common. Dean knows when Sam gets along with someone they are good people. Jimmy comes up beside Dean and takes his hand. They walk through the parking lot and inside the hall. For a Thursday, the place is pretty packed. Dean walks up to the bar and orders a beer. Since he is driving, he will only allow himself to have two. 

They find an empty pool table and Dean racks the pool balls for a game of nine-ball. “How about we have a little brotherly competition? The Novak brothers versus the  _Win_ chesters.” Dean says grinning. “Prepare to get your ass handed to you boys.”

Jimmy looks at his brother, “Just so you know we won’t win this game. Dean used to hustle pool when he was younger."

Dean grabs his pool stick and the cue chalk. “Hey don’t give away my secrets,” he admonishes.  Dean steps back and allows Sam to break. Pool balls shoot in every direction and a couple solid ones sink in. “Nice break, Sammy.”

Jimmy motions for Castiel to take his turn since he is the younger of the two men. Normally Castiel would argue he was only younger by a minute but he doesn't bother. He steps up to the table, leans down and aims for a stripped ball. The cue ball hits its target and Castiel manages to make a combination shot that sinks three balls. He straightens up and makes eye contact with Dean, smiling like he has a secret of his own. The rest of the game Dean gets distracted any time he takes aim and Castiel walks by barely brushing against him. In the end, the Winchester brothers win only because when Jimmy aimed for the nine ball he scratched and the cue ball went in instead. Dean fist bumps Sam and gloats over the win.

“You only won because I was distracted. I was too busy looking at you instead of paying attention, Dean.” Jimmy says finishing off his beer.

Shaking his head, Dean walks over to his boyfriend and kisses his cheek. “Excuses, that’s all that is Jimmy.” The older Novak brother rolls his eyes and tells Dean he is going to get them another beer, but his phone rings and he pulls it out of his pocket. Jimmy’s eyes meet Dean’s and he walks out of the hall to answer it. The three men grab a table and order a round of beer.

When Jimmy walks back in he sits down at the table. His eyes look withdrawn; like he isn't really there. Dean wants to know who called him but won't allow himself to be  _that_  kind of boyfriend. He has always trusted Jimmy to an extent, but now with the knowledge of Michael he can't stop himself from wondering. Jimmy’s eyes flick up to Castiel’s and there is a silent exchange between the brothers. Dean notices Castiel's body visibly tense. Then Castiel shakes his head, stands up and walks out of the pool hall. Anger flares through Dean’s body with a raging inferno; he doesn’t know  _why_  he is pissed. He just knows is that he is.

Dean finishes his beer and gets up to walk out of the place. The air outside is humid, Dean instantly starts to sweat and it clings to him like a sticky extra skin. He walks over to where he parked and finds Castiel leaning against the passenger door. Dean can see turmoil in the depths of blue eyes. His stomach twists and he feels the need to grab Castiel and pull him close. Dean is about to do just that when he hears footsteps behind him. Quickly turning, he spots Jimmy and Sam heading his way.  _So much for a fun filled night._

* * *

The trip back to the apartment building is silent. Dean glances in the review mirror and sees Castiel staring out the window. His lips are in a tight thin line. The next time he looks back up Castiel is staring into his eyes in the mirror. The deep blue looks haunted and Dean immediately flicks his gaze back to the road in front of him.   

Upstairs the men part ways with a simple goodnight. When Castiel closes the door, he rounds on his brother. His eyes narrow, “How can you lie to me like that?”

Jimmy brushes past his brother, takes off his shoes, and sits down on the couch. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Castiel shakes his head, walks over and stands in front Jimmy. “How long has this been going on?”

“Again, I’m clueless as to what you’re referring to,” Jimmy replies looking up into the blue eyes that match his own.

Castiel’s shoulders drop and he walks into the spare bedroom. He grabs his suitcase and shoves his clothes back inside. Luckily, he doesn't have much to pack. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and sits down on the edge of the bed. His fingers move across the screen to access his email. Pulling up his flight confirmation he quickly finds the number to the airline.

The line rings a few times before a woman’s voice answers. “American Airlines, this is Hannah speaking, how may I help you?”

He takes a steady breath, “This is Castiel Novak. I have a roundtrip flight booked for Nevada on Thursday. I would like to see if there is a flight out possibly tonight or tomorrow morning. I understand there will be a difference in price. I have my card ready.”

The conversation takes longer than Castiel has the patience for. After confirming Castiel’s information, Hannah informs him she can get him on a flight in five hours. There is a spot open in first class after a cancellation. He gives her his credit card information and once everything is confirmed he ends the call. The next call is to a cab company arranging a pickup in thirty minutes. Castiel gets up; grabbing his bags he walks out into the living room. Jimmy is still sitting on the couch. The only light on in the apartment is the one above the stove.

Castiel walks to the door and reaches for the knob. Before turning it, he says, “You have until the time I get back to tell him or I will Jimmy. That’s not a threat. It’s a promise.” With that, he opens the door and walks out into the hallway, shutting the door behind him. He walks down the hall and pauses when he is near Dean’s apartment. Castiel wants to knock, but he isn’t sure of what he would do or say. So he hangs his head and starts walking again. Once he’s outside, he places his bags by the door and sits on his suitcase. The air is so thick it suffocates him. He feels the sting behind his eyes and wishes he could say it was from sweating, but he would be lying to himself. His head falls back against the brick of the wall and he closes his eyes. With a sigh, something inside him breaks and tears fall from his face.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it. I'm laying the groundwork for the upcoming events. Who do you think called Jimmy? It may surprise you or it may not *shrugs* :)
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> I may have missed little errors so if you see one I'm sorry. I'll fix them tomorrow.  
> Let me know what you think.  
> Bus is slang for Ambulance that some paramedics use.

Dean hops up inside the bus to set up for the next run. Standing in the ambulance, he goes through the inventory to check what medical supplies they have and what’s needed. He taps the list into his tablet. The exhaustion from his shift weighs heavy in his bones, sleep has eluded him the last couple of nights. It’s almost been two weeks since they went to Rack Daddy’s. Dean has since ignored Jimmy’s texts and calls. At first, he felt guilty about it. Then he talked to Sam about the situation and his brother agreed something wasn’t right.

Dean wants to believe everything’s fine, but he can’t shake the feeling his boyfriend is hiding something from him. That suspicion became a lead weight in his stomach when he heard Castiel went to Nevada ahead of schedule. Dean doesn’t know the man, but given the history between the two Novak brothers, he can only think of one thing, well, a person that would make Castiel leave. He honestly hopes that he’s wrong about it. Sure, he’s only known Jimmy for a little over a year, but Dean would never think the man would hide something from him. Then again, he’s been lied to before. It wasn’t a nice experience, one he wants to forget altogether.

Dean is a faithful man, regardless of if he can visualize the relationship going somewhere or not. That's just how he was brought up. His parent’s marriage was a lesson in true love. His dream is to one day have someone he can spend the rest of his life with. Share his hopes and dreams. Maybe raise a family. Dean knows he should talk to the Jimmy, but he isn’t sure he would be able to handle the truth.

“Winchester,” a male voice rings out in the station.

Dean jumps out of the ambulance, “Yeah boss.”

“Don’t yeah me boy.” Rufus smiles, “This here is-”

Dean cuts the man off, “Melanie!” Dean picks the woman up and gives her a big hug. “Fuck. Girl, you’re a sight for sore eyes. What brings you back to Dallas?” Placing her back on her feet, he steps back and looks her over. The woman stood five foot five with short reddish brown hair and blue eyes.

Rufus eyes them both, “You two know each other?”

“Dean and I go way back. We went to school together,” Melanie supplies.

Dean nods, “Yeah before you stole my heart and moved off to Tennessee senior year.”  

She huffs a laugh, “That’s not true and you know it.”

Rufus just shakes his head. “Melanie will be riding with you starting tomorrow. Just long enough till she gets the swing of things around here. You think you can handle that without breaking her?”

Dean smiles, “Of course I can.” The older man nods at them and walks away.

“I’m just about finished for the day.” He motions for her to follow him and begins walking to get the supplies he needs. “I know someone who will be happy to see you.” With his hands full he heads back out to the bus. He hops in and puts everything where it goes.

Melanie nods, smiling, “How is Sam anyway?”

“He’s good. Works at a law firm here in the city. He’s making a name for himself already and he’s only twenty-three.” Dean jumps back out and makes sure everything is set before leaving for the day. Once he is done, they both walk out to the parking lot. Stopping in front of Dean’s Impala he says, “Would you like to come over to my place for dinner tonight? I’ll cook for you.”

Melanie smiles, “Sounds good to me.”

Dean unlocks the door and sits down behind the wheel. He grabs his cell and asks Melanie for her number. Dean sends her a text with his address and gives her a time to be at his apartment. They say their goodbyes and he starts the engine and pulls out of the parking lot.  

* * *

Half an hour later Dean walks into his apartment and immediately changes out of his uniform into a worn pair of Levi’s and a faded Van Halen T-shirt. He decides spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread and salad is fast and easy for dinner. So he starts preparing that while waiting for his brother to get home. His cell chirps in his pocket, but he doesn’t bother pulling it out. He knows who the message is from. The silence in the apartment is almost deafening so he walks over to the stereo in the living room and switches it on. The classic rock station is a mere distraction, but one nevertheless. He belts out the lyrics to songs he knows by heart. Dean gets so into the music he even starts dancing along while cooking.

The simple act brings back memories of his younger years. _His mother, Mary, is humming along to the radio and dancing in the kitchen of his childhood home, with a smile on her face while preparing dinner. Dean was eight at the time and Sam only four, they sit at the kitchen table watching their mother. Mary’s blonde hair is pulled back in a ponytail and the sunlight coming through the window shining on her face. Dean at that moment thought his mother was an angel. Mary’s favorite song starts playing and she walks over to the boys taking one of their hands and they begin to dance around the linoleum floor in their socks. Both boys laughing as Mary spins them around._

Dean pulls himself out of his reverie and swipes a hand at his wet eyes. Sam walks through the door and smiles at his older brother. He doesn’t have to ask, he knows Dean is thinking about their mom. So he quickly takes off his shoes, leaving his socks on and starts dancing around in the kitchen. Dean huffs a small laugh and joins his brother. They don’t speak to each other while Sam helps him finish dinner. It’s times likes this that makes Dean thankful to have his little brother. Hell, who is he kidding? Dean knows without Sam he probably would have given up after the death of their parents. There is no telling where he would be today, definitely not the man he has come to be. When dinner is ready Dean turns off the stereo.      

Grabbing three plates out of the cabinet Dean hands them to Sam to set the table. “Who’s joining us for dinner,” Sam asks.

Grinning Dean takes three beers out of the fridge and sets them on the table. “You’ll find out. It’s a surprise.”

Sam gives him a side glance and shakes his head. “When you say that it usually never ends well for me.”

Dean huffs a laugh, there is a knock on the door, he takes one last look at his brother smiling over his shoulder. He opens the door and wraps his arms around Melanie, hugging her before she can step foot into the apartment. She laughs and playfully swats his arms to release her. Dean steps back so she can get through the door. He doesn’t miss the huge smile on his brother’s face when Sam lays eyes on the woman.

“Melanie,” Sam says, then he stoops down and gives her a hug of his own. “Damn, it’s good to see you.”

She nods, “It’s been too long. I think you were thirteen when I moved. Now look at you, all grown up.”

Dean motions to the table and they sit down to eat. The conversation is light and fun. Telling old memories of their time together as kids. Sam and Melanie both rave over how delicious dinner is. The younger Winchester even helps himself to a second plate. After they are through Sam offers to clean up knowing his brother worked hard and won’t sleep until the kitchen is spotless. Dean would rather drop dead than admit that cleaning helps relax him. It always has. When he was younger, he would help his mother every weekend cleaning the house from top to bottom.

Dean grabs two more beers and Melanie joins him on the couch. He sits with one knee up on the cushion facing her. The two met after Dean’s family moved to Dallas when he was five. His father was offered a better paying job so he packed his family up without a second thought. Dean was shy and quiet when he started school that year. His mother promised he would make new friends and he wouldn’t miss their old home in Lawrence.

He can still remember his first day of Kindergarten. Dean was on the verge of tears because he was in a new place and he latched onto his mother when she tried to leave. A little girl walked up to him and offered him some of her animal crackers. She told him her name was Melanie and held out her hand to him. He took it and they walked off into the classroom together and sat down in a circle with the other students for story time.

They were attached at the hip from that day forward. In the sixth grade while walking home from school Melanie said she had never been kissed. Dean stopped in his tracks and kissed her softly. When they were freshmen, they lost their virginity to each other. Both of them wanted their first time to be with someone special they trusted and to avoid the drama of heartbreak. It proved to strengthen their friendship. Sophomore year Dean confided in Melanie that he was bisexual and she helped him through that time of his life. All in all, Melanie was his best friend, his shoulder to lean on and sometimes his therapist.

“Shit, I can’t believe it’s been ten years Mel,” Dean says, giving her a big grin that reaches his eyes. “What’ve you been up to?”

She shrugs, “I graduated high school. Went to college to study law and passed the bar exam. Then I decided it wasn’t what I wanted to do so I switched career paths. Anyway, now that I'm back home. There isn't really anything exciting going on. What about you?”

“You’re looking at it. Finished school and then became a paramedic. Made sure Sammy went to the college of his choice with help from Ellen and the rest is history.”

Melanie smiles, “So do you have somebody special in your life?”

Dean purses his lips, “I did. I mean I do.”

Sam looks over at the two of them. He wipes his hands on a towel and walks towards his room. “I know my cue to make myself scarce,” he says over his shoulder.

“Start talking Winchester,” she says, scooting over closer to him on the couch.

Dean looks at her and thinks about it for a minute. He opens his mouth to tell her it’s not a big deal. That everything going on is all in his mind. Instead, the truth comes out. How he met Jimmy, everything in their relationship, the way he found out about Castiel. Then his voice sounds resigned as he starts explaining the history of the Novak brothers and the unexplained phone call.

Melanie reaches over and holds his hand; their fingers intertwining. “Dean, you know me. I'm not one for beating around the bush. So I’m going to skip the bullshit and say this. Nut up. Ask him what the fuck is going on. If he doesn’t tell you the truth cut your losses.”

A smile crosses his face. Melanie never candy coats anything to spare someone’s feelings. She is blunt, sassy at times, and refuses to censor herself. Dean loves that about her. He pulls her into his arms and hugs her tight. “You’re right. I’ll talk to him.”

She huffs a laugh and pulls out of the embrace. “Aren’t I always?”

* * *

After Melanie leaves Dean goes into his bedroom. He strips down to his boxers. Pulling back the covers he gets in bed and grabs his book off the table. Dean tries to get lost in the story, to let it relax him so he can sleep. Only he can’t hold focus. Frustrated, Dean runs a hand through his hair and closes his eyes for awhile. When he is still not able to think about anything else other than Jimmy; he opens his eyes, puts the book back, and gets out of bed. Dean walks over to his dresser and pulls out a pair of sweatpants. He puts them on and grabs his shirt off the floor pulling it over his head. Before he can change his mind, he walks into the living room, then heads over to the front door. He takes a deep breath and then walks out of his apartment.

Dean heads over to Jimmy’s door and knocks. The man answers shortly after. Jimmy’s eyes meet Dean’s then flicks away, but he steps aside and allows Dean inside.

“You’ve been avoiding me, Dean,” Jimmy says as he walks to the sofa and sits down.

He huffs a breath and nods, “Yeah.”

“I guess I can safely assume it’s about the other night, the phone call.”

He runs his hand through his hair, “Yeah, Jimmy. That and the fact that shortly after, your brother left town. Now I don’t know Cas all that well, but I can only think of one thing that would make him leave again.”

“You’re right. You don’t know my brother.”

“Jimmy please tell me, who called you that night?”

Jimmy’s eyes meet Dean’s. “A colleague. I’m a doctor so it’s not usual.”

Dean pinches the bridge of his nose. That sinking feeling he is being lied to comes back threefold. He laughs softly, “For some reason I imagine there’s more to it than that. I’m gonna lay all the cards on the table for you. Tell me who called or we're over. And I can’t promise you I won’t leave you over the answer.”

“I’ve answered your question,” Jimmy says sighing.

Shaking his head, Dean looks down at his feet. “Which co-worker was it, Jimmy?”

Jimmy pushes himself up and walks over to Dean. He presses close to Dean; leans in and kisses him softly. The contact of their lips makes Dean’s blood run ice cold. “Don’t try to get my dick hard thinking it will distract me.”

The older man ignores him and works his tongue across Dean’s lips. “Damn it Jimmy stop,” Dean says brining his hands between them; pushing Jimmy back.  

Jimmy groans in frustration. “What is your problem?”

Dean puts more space in between them. “What’s my problem? What the fuck is your problem Jimmy? Why the hell are you hiding shit from me?”

“I’m not hiding any damn thing from you,” Jimmy says raising his voice. “I knew this would happen. Castiel tells you about our past and now you’re insecure because of it. You're trying to make something out of nothing. All of this over an innocent phone call.”

“You think I like what is going on between us?” Dean shouts. “If it was so innocent, why won’t you give me a name? Nevermind I don't have time for this shit.” Dean walks to the door and turns back around. “You know what Jimmy, fuck you. I think some time apart might do us good.” Turning back around, he reaches for the door knob.

“It was Michael,” Jimmy says almost in a whisper, but it's loud enough for Dean to hear.

Dean huffs a breath and opens the door. “Yeah, I guessed as much. I might not have graduated from an Ivy league school. But I’m not stupid.” He walks away into the hallway, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

Back in his room, Dean paces with a glass of whiskey in his hand. He takes a drink and feels the burn slide down his throat. Now that he knows who called Jimmy that night he doesn’t feel any better. Should he call it quits? For all he knows it really could have been just an innocent conversation. His cell chirps and he slides his thumb across the screen.

Text from Jimmy: This is why I didn’t tell you about Michael. I knew you would overreact.

Text from Jimmy: Tell me now, I need to know. Is our relationship over?

Dean sighs and sends a message back.

Text from you: I don’t know Jimmy. I need time to think.

Text from Jimmy: I promise you that is the first time we have spoken since I left him.

This time, he doesn't reply. Instead, he throws his phone across his room. It hits the wall and then falls to the floor. Sam appears in his doorway.

“Dean is everything okay?” Sam leans against the doorjamb with his hands in his pockets.

Dean turns around to face him. “I’m peachy, Sammy.”

“You can’t lie to me, Dean. So either talk to me about it now or wait. Either way, we both know you’ll tell me.”

Sam is right like always. Dean can never keep something that is upsetting him from his brother for long. He sighs and sits down on the edge of his bed. “That night at the pool hall. Michael is the one that called Jimmy.”

“Yeah, I can see why you’re upset now.”

Dean lays back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“Can I give you some advice?”

Dean huffs a laugh and turns his head toward his brother. “You’ll give it to me regardless of it I want to hear it or not.”

His brother gives him a bitch face. “If you can’t see this relationship going anywhere. Maybe now is a good time to end it, Dean. I know you don’t like being lonely and I get it, but don’t drag Jimmy along just to fill the void in your life.”

“I don’t know what I’ll do. All I know is I don’t like this feeling.”

“Go with your gut man. Cas told me about Michael and even I have to admit I wouldn’t trust Jimmy talking to him.”

Dean sits up and looks over at his brother. “Cas told you? When?”

Sam shrugs. “We've been in touch since he left. He needed an ear and I was happy to give him one. Cas is a cool guy.”

“Is he coming back,” Dean asks before he can stop himself.

His brother smiles, “Yes, Dean. He said probably a couple more days. They haven’t really found anything. So he really isn't needed. You like him don’t you?”

“I guess. I mean I really don’t know him.”

Sam laugh, “Sure. If you say so. I’ll say this, though. I never really thought you and Jimmy… fit well together.”

“What’s that supposed to mean,” Dean asks, chewing on his bottom lip.

“It means exactly what I said. I don’t think Jimmy is the guy for you, Dean. I just want you happy. You know that. And if you’re really honest with yourself, you haven’t exactly been happy for a few months now.”

He sighs, “You’re right, Sammy. I haven’t. Thanks, man.”  

Smiling Sam walks over and gives his brother a hug. “You’re welcome. Now I’m going to bed. Try not to throw something else at the wall, okay?”

“Good night Sam,” Dean says, watching Sam walk out of his room. Sam tells him good night from the hallway. Dean groans and lays back on the bed again. He moves up, pulls the blanket over him and rolls on his side. Dean closes his eyes. Sleep tugs at him, pulling him under and his dreams are filled with Jimmy. _His soft lips against Dean’s. Their tongues slowing licking into, searching each other’s mouth. Dean breaks the kiss and pulls Jimmy’s shirt over his head. He runs his hands down the smooth skin of the older man’s chest. Dean leans forward and rests his forehead against Jimmy’s. “I’ve missed you,” he says quietly._

_“I’ve missed you more, Dean.”_

_Dean pulls back. Something's wrong, the voice is too deep to be Jimmy's._

_“Cas?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts???
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> I may have missed little errors so if you see one I'm sorry. I'll fix them tomorrow.  
> Enjoy.

Dean hears the shower running, he smiles to himself, knowing there is a slick wet body waiting for him. He gets out of bed and pads quietly into the bathroom. He stops just inside the door and watches the body through the glass door of the shower. That dark hair he loves to pull is wet and matted down, water running down in cascades over the long, lean tan skin. Dean strips out of his boxers and strokes his erection a couple times. He walks over, opens the door, and steps inside. The older man doesn’t bother turning around. Dean presses his body close, his cock rubbing up against the other man’s ass. He wraps his arms around and runs his hands down the wet skin. The older man lets out a moan, turns around, pressing his body closer to Dean. He leans forward and brushes their lips together. Dean moans while licking into his boyfriend’s mouth deepening the kiss.

It’s been too long and he needs to come, but he wants to take his time. The man breaks the kiss and gives Dean a half-cocked grin. He turns Dean around and pushes him up against the tile wall. Taking Dean’s hands, he raises them above Dean’s head and pins them there. The man leans in and kisses Dean’s neck; the stubble of the man’s jaw creating a delicious burn against Dean’s skin. The man works his way up Dean’s neck and nibbles on Dean’s ear. His warm breath sending chills down Dean’s spine, then he whispers, "my brother and I aren't completely identical. I’m willing to bet I fuck better.”

Dean’s eyes fly open. His breathing is labored and his erection is almost painful. This is the fourth night in a row that Dean has dreamed about Castiel. He reaches over to his bedside table and grabs the lube out of the drawer. Normally he would just take a cold shower, but not tonight. Not now, not after the  _fourth_  fucking dream of that  _blue-eyed_  bastard fucking with his head. He squeezes some lube into his hand and tries to warm it, before slipping his hand in his boxers and wrapping it around his cock. Dean starts a slow stroke, trying to bring up anything from his spank bank. No matter how hard he tries with every movement of his hand all he can think of is Castiel. He stops long enough to push his boxers down and kicks them off of him. Dean grabs the lube and puts more in his hand. He dips his fingers in and smears it across his other hand. Right now he needs to feel the burn that he hasn’t felt in years. His left-hand returns to stroking his cock while the other travels lower and finds his entrance.

He rubs a finger over his hole and slowly pushes inside. He hisses with the breach. Breathing through it, he pushes in further and starts a slow pace in and out. A low groan escapes his throat, sounding almost like a growl. Dean thinks of the night they kissed; the slow drag of their tongues together and the way Castiel dominated the kiss. The smell of the man is burned into his memory. Castiel smells much like the way the earth does after a raging forest fire had been extinguished under the hot Texas sun. Or the scent of cinnamon, freshly picked from the wood, it’s intoxicating, like a drug to Dean. He slips a second finger in beside the first and picks up the pace of pumping them in and out of his body while his other hand he strokes his cock. His eyes close and he bites his lip to keep from moaning too loud. Dean pictures Castiel in his mind fucking him at a punishing pace. He is right at the edge and he hears Cas say,  _“Come for me Dean,”_  in a commanding voice. It sends him tumbling over the cliff; his orgasm crashing into him so hard it takes his breath away and he thinks he may pass out from the intensity. Dean is barely able to milk the come from his body, he feels boneless.

Finally, he relaxes back into the bed. His come cooling on his stomach, he pulls his fingers out, hissing at the sensation. “Fuck,” he pants when he catches his breath. He rolls over enough to grab his shirt that was tossed on the floor before he fell asleep. Dean cleans himself off quickly and throws the shirt across the room. He turns on his back again and drifts back off to sleep.

* * *

 

Dean wakes up three hours later. It’s only seven in the morning, but he gets off the bed and walks into the bathroom to piss and take a quick shower. After he dresses in sweat pants he walks into the kitchen and starts a pot of coffee. Once it was ready, he pours himself a cup and sits down at the table. The memories of the dream come back to him and for a while, he is lost in his own thoughts.

“You look like shit,” Sam says; making his older brother jump.

Dean looks over at him, “Morning to you too princess.”

Sam grabs a cup of coffee and sits down across from Dean. “Did you get any sleep at all?”

“Some,” he answers shrugging. “Do you want breakfast before work?”

His brother takes a sip of his coffee and swallows it down, “I’m actually off work today. I’m going to the library later and then see Aaralynn tonight. Unless you want to do something?”

Dean drinks down the rest of his cup and gets up to get more. “Nah, Sammy. I’m going to relax today. I have a rare day off in the middle of the week. Rufus was bitching I haven’t been up to par lately. So Benny is covering my next two shifts.”

“That’s not good Dean,” Sam says, giving him the usual look of concern any time it’s mentioned that Dean hasn’t been resting.

“No shit,” He says, turning around and leaning his hip against the cabinet. “I’m tired, Sam. Exhausted. And I’m off my game. Plus, I have these dreams and I wake up at the same time every morning from them.”

Sam runs a hand through his hair, “What are the dreams about?”

Shit, there is  _no way_  he is telling Sam that he has been dreaming about Castiel.  _Sex dreams_  nonetheless. “It’s not important,” Dean replies, walking back to the table and sitting down. “So about breakfast.”

Sam eyes him for a minute, then sighs, “I’m going to run down to the diner on the corner and pick us up something. You really should rest. I’ll be back.”

* * *

 

Sam left after they finished breakfast. Dean runs through a list of things he could be doing since he has the time. But his body practically screams,  _fuck you, Winchester._ So he walks to the couch and lays down on it. Reaching over to the table, he grabs the remote and switches on the TV. He gets lost in mind numbing shows for a while. Somewhere in the back of his head, though the thoughts of the dreams he has come back to mess with him. Dean did tell Jimmy they needed some time apart, but he still can’t help feeling bad. Dreaming about Castiel feels almost like cheating on him. Something he is not okay with. Being unfaithful never has been okay for him, even though he likes both sexes. If he was dating a woman, he only dated her, the same thing with a man.

When Dean was twenty-two, he met a beautiful woman, Carmen Porter and was ready to settle down with her. She knew Dean was bi and was fine with it. They were together for two years and secretly Dean was buying a ring for her. Two nights before he was going to propose, he came home from a long day at work and found Carmen in bed with another man. The conversation with her was heated. Carmen said she didn’t think her sleeping with another man was a big deal since Dean was into guys as well. Dean told her flat out he never cheated on her or anyone else he had ever been with. He ended their relationship, packed his stuff that night and moved out of their place. Since then he has been cautious in any relationship, never able to give his complete heart to someone.

Dean’s phone chirps during a commercial and he reaches down his sweat pants pocket to retrieve it. He still hasn’t bothered to put a shirt on.

Text from Jimmy: I am in need of a favor. Can you pick Castiel up at the airport? His plane is due in at five and I’ll still be at the hospital. I won’t be home until 9 or 10.

Dean sits up and runs a hand over his face. Castiel will be back today? He is so  _fucked_. How can he look the man in the face after the thoughts he has had? He contemplates texting Sam and asking him to do it. He would even let him drive Baby. No. Dean can do this. He  _has_  to do it.

Text from you: Yeah, I can do that.

Jimmy sends a text back with details of Castiel’s flight. Dean looks over at the clock on the wall. He still has a few hours before he had to be at DFW airport. Traffic around the area was always a nightmare. The same thing could be said of Dallas Love Field (DAL) airport. Parking was a bitch at both places. Without a second thought, Dean gets up and starts cleaning the apartment from top to bottom. He rearranges everything in the kitchen, scrubs down the stove, cabinets, walls around the stove, and even the tile floor. Once that was finished, he walks into his room, gathers all of his laundry and Sam’s as well. Thankfully, they have a washer and dryer in their apartment and he doesn’t have to drag all the shit to the Laundromat. Although with how many clothes they have between them it would probably be wise to go to one. After he puts a load in the washer he walks into the living room and starts giving it a good scrub down.

* * *

 

Dean walks into his room and changes into actual clothes for the day. All of his T-shirts are in the laundry that hasn’t been washed yet. He has no choice but to grab his maroon button-down and a pair of his nice Wranglers that he hasn’t worn since he used to go to rodeos. Yes, at one time Dean would participate in them. Once he is dressed he walks into the bathroom and puts gel in his hair. He spikes it a little and grabbed his cologne.  _"If I’m wearing my nice clothes I might as well go the whole nine yards and smell good too”._  At least, that is what he tells himself; because he isn’t dressed just to impress Castiel. Back in his room, he grabs his black boots out of the back of his closet and pulls them on. He stands in front of his full-length mirror and looks at his reflection. Damn, he looks good. He turns around. The jeans still hug his ass. Grabbing his wallet, cell, and keys he walks into the living room and out the door. Downstairs in the parking garage, he gets in his car, starts the engine and backs out. Once on the road, he turns on the radio to keep himself sane as he gets on the highway in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

* * *

 

An hour later he parks and walks inside the airport. He fights through the sea of people and finds the correct gate. At least, Castiel’s plane is on time and he shouldn’t have a long wait. Dean sits down and pulls out his phone to start a game of Angry Bird. Sam is the one that showed it to Dean and he has been  _addicted_  to the damn game ever since. Dean is so into the game he doesn’t hear anyone walking up behind him.

Castiel leans down and whispers in Dean’s ear, “Aloha, cowboy.”

His eyes close and he swears Castiel lowered his voice an octave on purpose. A shiver runs down his spine.  _“Fuck,”_  he thinks to himself. Dean opens his eyes and stands up slowly, turning around to face the man. A lazy grin crosses his face, “Hey Cas.”

Castiel smiles, “Hey yourself,” he replies as he grabs a hold of his luggage that he already had gotten from the return carousel.

“Ready to go,” Dean asks. When Castiel nods, Dean makes his way around and starts walking toward the exit. Castiel follows behind him and Dean can feel the man’s eyes boring into his back. Dean smiles to himself. Yeah, he still has it and even though he  _shouldn’t_  care if Castiel is attracted to him, well, fuck it because he  _does_  care. Dean pushes the glass doors open and walks outside. He looks up at the sky and sees dark clouds. Fucking Texas weather. Hot as fuck one minute and storming the next.

They both slide into the car after putting the luggage in the trunk. Dean starts the car and drives out of the parking space. He side-eyes Castiel, “So how was your trip?”

Castiel smiles, “Long. And I’m starving.”

Dean nods while thumping his thumbs against the steering wheel waiting to get through the mess of cars on the highway. “Well, Jimmy won’t be home until late tonight. I was thinking about making hamburgers if you’re interested?”

That earns a groan from Castiel in response, “Fuck yes, I’m interested.”

The sound alone was enough to make Dean’s cock twitch and he shifts in his seat.

Castiel clears his throat. “So how are you and my brother doing anyway?”

Normally Dean wouldn’t answer a question like that, but this is  _Castiel_  and he is Jimmy’s brother. Plus for some reason, he seems comfortable talking to the man about anything. “Uh, well, I-I found out who called Jimmy.” Dean looks over at Castiel. “I basically told him we needed a break.”

The other man hums but doesn’t say anything else. He returns his attention to the window and everything passing by them.

* * *

 

When they got back Castiel went to Jimmy’s and put his stuff up. Dean switches out a load of laundry to the dryer, then starts preparing dinner. After making the patties, Dean grabs a beer out of the fridge. His phone starts playing a series of moose calls; Sam’s ringtone that he forgot to change. He takes it out of his pocket and rests it in between his shoulder and his ear so he can flip the burgers.

“Hello, Moose,” he answers with a huge grin.

“Screw you Squirrel,” Sam shoots back laughing. “I told you to change my ringtone.”

“What fun would that be?”

“Change it. Anyway. I’m staying at Aaralynn’s tonight.”

“Uh, but Cas is back.”

“Oh, I know. I told you we talk.”The amusement in Sam’s voice is clear.

“I invited him for dinner, Sammy.”

“I’m sure you can keep him entertained Dean. I’ll be back tomorrow after work.”

“Fuck you, Sam.”

His brother laughs on the other line. “I love you too Dean.” And the line goes dead.

“Fuck my life,” Dean says, putting his phone back in his pocket.

“Something wrong?”

Dean spins around to find Castiel standing near the island with his head tilted to one side. He can’t help thinking that it’s cute when the older man does it. “You really need to make noise when you walk. Or I’m buying a bell for your ass.”

Castiel chuckles, “Sorry I knocked, but you didn’t answer.”

“It’s cool. You don’t have to knock, you’re basically family anyway.” Dean says. “Beer?”

Arching an eyebrow Castiel asks, “I’m family?”

“Ugh, yeah of course you are,” he says and grabs another beer out of the fridge.

“Oh. I guess that makes sense. You're dating my brother after all.”

Dean's eyes meet Castiel's. “It has nothing to do with Jimmy. You and Sam apparently get along well. Plus, I think you’re cool. So that’s why you’re family.”

When dinner was ready, they both sat down at the table with beer and eating their burgers. Castiel moans with the first bite. “If I didn’t know any better I’d think you're trying to seduce me,” he says around the food.

Dean chuckles, “Why is that?”

Castiel leans back in the chair, takes a pull off the beer bottle and eyes Dean. Then in a serious tone, he says, “You show up looking like that at the airport.” Castiel's hand gesture toward Dean. “You pick me up in a car that is basically sex on wheels. I would have mentioned it earlier, but we remember how that night went after the pool hall. And you’re an amazing cook.”

Dean feels his cheeks heat up. Yes,  _heat up_  because Dean Winchester  _does not_  blush. “I, uh, well. Thank you?”

After dinner, the two men sit on the couch talking about Castiel’s trip. Dean has lost count of how many beers they have had. Hell, who cares? He hasn’t had this much fun since, well fuck he can’t remember. When Castiel starts animatedly talking about different odd things that have happened on digs; Dean laughs so hard he can barely catch his breath.

“Cas, stop,” Dean pants. “I’m going to go into cardiac arrest from laughing too hard.”

“Don’t worry, Dean, I know CPR.” Castiel’s smile makes his blue eyes twinkle. Or maybe it was the beer. “And I’m well versed in mouth-to-mouth.”

“Now you’re just being a fucking flirt, Cas.”

“Ah, you caught me.” A mischievous glint shines in Castiel’s eyes. “You know, if I was a bastard and hell-bent on revenge, and had no morals like my brother. I would have thrown you in the backseat of the Impala and fucked you until you screamed my name.”

Those words sent a chill down Dean’s spine because he could hear the truth in them. His jeans became ridiculously tight. He wasn’t sure if was the alcohol making him see things, but he could swear there was a storm brewing in the depths of Castiel’s blue eyes. Dean clears his throat and tries to think of anything he can say to change the subject.

Castiel stands up, “I apologize for being so blunt. It’s just the type of person I am. I-I think it’s time for me to head over to my brother’s.”

Without thinking, Dean stands up and grabs Castiel’s arm before he got to the door. “Cas.”

The other man stops and looks at Dean’s hand. “Yeah?”

He removes his hand quickly and rubs the back of his neck, “You can stay here. I mean, if you’d rather wait to go over there. I know you two aren’t-” Dean cuts himself off. “Take my bed. I’m used to this couch.”

Castiel hesitates, “Dean, I don’t-”

Dean puts up a hand to stop him. “Just stay. And just so you don’t feel awkward, I’ve never fucked your brother in my bed. Or in my apartment.”

Castiel bites his lip for a minute. “I have nothing to sleep in.”

Giving the man a big grin Dean motions with his hand for Castiel to follow him. In his room, Dean opens the second drawer. “Sweat pants and pajama bottoms. Take your pick.” He walks out of the bedroom and grabs a T-shirt out of the dryer. Back in the room, Dean hands it to Castiel and grabs a pair of sweatpants for himself. He is just about to step out of the room so Castiel to change, but he turns around. “Night, Cas.”

Castiel smiles; his shirt already off. “Good night Dean.”

Dean has to tear his eyes from Castiel’s chest cause damn that man’s body is amazing. Now he knows for sure that Castiel is in better shape than his brother is. His eyes flick back up to Castiel’s. Dean waves his hand walks out the door. In the bathroom, he quickly changes into his sweatpants. In the hall, he grabs another T-shirt and pulls it over his head. He opens the door next to the laundry area and takes out a light blanket. Dean walks back into the living room and lies down on the couch. His eyes are almost closed when he hears a clap of thunder roar outside. He lays there watching the lightning streak across the sky until he drifts off to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You don't know how much all of you mean to me. The comments and encouragement are what keeps me going. Thank you!!  
> And I apologize I HAD to put the "Aloha, cowboy" in there. Crowley made me do it lol.  
> Sooooo.... thoughts?????
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> I may have missed little errors so if you see one I'm sorry. I'll fix them tomorrow.  
> Consider yourselves loved lol because I rarely get a chapter started and finished in the same day.  
> Enjoy.

The thunderstorm from the previous night is still raging the following morning. Dean stands in the kitchen waiting for the coffee to be ready. He feels refreshed from actually getting a decent night’s sleep, no dream waking him up in the middle of the night. Despite the storm rattling the walls, he slept like a baby. And even though he doesn’t want to admit it to himself, he knows why. He is sure it has  _everything_  to do with the man asleep in his bed. Dean doesn’t know why Castiel has this effect on him; he just knows that he does. It's like Castiel brings peace to Dean's soul.

 

He can run through a list of people he has been with and not one of them made Dean feel this way. Not even Carmen. Dean isn’t sure what he  _should_  do about it; or if he will do  _anything_  at all. It’s not like he can. Plus, it’s not like Castiel wanted him for anything other than his body. Most of the people he had ‘dated’ and he uses that term lightly; only wanted one thing from Dean. Fuck how did he get himself in this situation? If he were a careless teenager again, he would just go after what he wants and not think twice about it. Even then, he didn't chase after his object of desire if he was with someone else. 

Turning on the stereo, Dean switches it up today and changes it to a country station. It reminds him of his shit kicker days; black Stetson, tight Wranglers, cowboy boots, dirt and sweat from working under the Texas sun. Dean would spend his summers on the Trenton family ranch earning money after his mother passed. His friend Cole, one of the Trenton clan, talked him into going to the rodeos. Dean was a natural at it and even considered at one time doing the circuit. But one nasty throw off a bull that knocked him unconscious and he decided he couldn’t do it. He had to be around in one piece for his brother. 

He turns around and picks up the bagels; putting them on the table and grabs the cream cheese and fresh strawberries out of the fridge. Clint Black’s  _Like The Rain_  starts playing and without thinking, Dean sings along.

_I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you.  Every thunder cloud that came was one more I might not get through.  On the darkest day, there's always light and now I see it too.  But I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you.  I hear it falling in the night and filling up my mind.  All the heaven's rivers come to light I see it all unwind.  I hear it talking through the trees and on the window pane.  When I hear it I just can't believe I never liked the rain._

_Like the rain, I have fallen for you and I know just why you.  Liked the rain always calling for you I'm falling for you now_

_Just like the rain._

_When the cloud is rolling over thunder striking me.  It's as bright as lightning and I wonder why I couldn't see.  That it's always good and when the flood is gone, we still remain.  Guess I've known all along I just belong here with you falling._

_Like the rain, I have fallen for you and I know just why you.  Liked the rain always calling for you, I'm falling for you now.  Just like the rain I have fallen for you.  I'm falling for you now just like the rain._

Dean looks up to see Castiel leaning against the kitchen wall watching him. He immediately stops singing. His eyes run down the length of the older man’s body. Castiel wearing his clothes, albeit a little baggy on him, stirs something inside Dean that he can’t name, but he definitely likes.

Castiel grins, “Don’t stop on my account. I was enjoying it. You have talent.”

Without missing a beat, Dean starts singing again, but, this time off-key. Castiel shakes his head and chuckles. Dean pours two cups of coffee for the both of them and they sit down at the table. They eat the bagels and drink their coffee listening to the music drift through the stereo. 

* * *

 

Castiel is typing away on his laptop in his brother’s apartment, going over all the pictures and documents from his last dig. He wants to make sure he or his colleagues overlooked nothing. He is bored to tears, but there is nothing else to do. It’s raining again so he can’t go for a run. Something he really needs to get back in the habit of doing. While he lived in Paris, he would run every morning. He huffs a breath and shuts the laptop. Castiel pushes off the couch and walks to stand in front of the bay windows. Lightning flashes across the sky, making the man smile. He loves storms, always has, they make him feel alive. Castiel hears the door open but doesn’t move.

“I wasn’t sure you if you were here or not, Castiel,” Jimmy says putting a bag of take-out on the table. “I grabbed Italian for dinner.”

The younger Novak turns around and narrows his eyes, “Why wouldn’t I be here? I sent you my flight details and you had Dean pick me up.”

Sitting down at the table, Jimmy shakes his head. “And you weren’t here last night.” He starts emptying the contents of the bag. “Since you are here now, I assume you spent the night with him.”

Castiel walks over and sits down across from his brother. Even though he’d rather avoid Jimmy it’s just not possible right now. “I did and don’t turn it into something it’s not.”

“What you do is your business, not mine,” Jimmy replies. “I can’t keep you from it. Let’s eat shall we?”

The tension between the brothers is thick and continues after dinner. Castiel grabs a beer out of the fridge and joins his brother on the couch. They make small talk about their jobs, hell anything to avoid the bigger issue in between them. They are in the middle of a debate on modern medicine when Jimmy’s phone starts ringing. Castiel glances over in time to see a picture of a much older version of the Michael he remembers. He shakes his head when Jimmy gets up and walks to his room to answer the call.

* * *

 

A week later, with the nightly phone calls between his brother and Michael, it starts to piss Castiel off. Jimmy notices the change in his brother attitude and after dinner, that he asks, “Is something about your work bothering you?”

Castiel narrows his eyes, "among other things," he replies trying to start a conversation about the elephant in the room.

“I’m sure it will all work out in the end,” Jimmy says; clearly distracted, it proves he didn’t really hear what his brother said. When his phone starts ringing Jimmy excuses himself.

* * *

 

It’s been three weeks since Castiel has been back. He is sitting on the couch, unshaven with a glass of whiskey in his hand, watching a documentary on the History Channel. Keeping his mouth shut about Michael is weighing down on him. He hasn’t left the apartment except to see Dean or hang out with Sam. They would drink beer and play card games. Sometimes Sam and Castiel would discuss their theories on different subjects. Castiel truly admires Sam and Dean’s relationship. The two brothers have had their ups and downs, but they are loyal to each other. They have would fight and probably lay their lives down for the other without a second thought.

His brother is at the table going over paperwork when there is a knock at the door. Jimmy gets up, opens the door and Dean steps inside.

“I didn’t know you were home, Jim,” Dean says when the man returns to his chair.

Jimmy doesn’t make eye contact with Dean when he says, “James?”

Dean nods, “That’s your name isn’t it?”

The man huffs a humorless laugh. “The entire time I’ve known you, Dean, you’ve never once called me anything other than Jimmy.”

It’s true, Dean has never used the formal name when talking to Jimmy, but he chooses not to analyze what made him do it. Instead, he walks over to Castiel and hands him a book. “Sammy said you wanted to read this and I thought I would drop it off.”

Castiel’s eyes flick up to Dean and he can tell the man is uncomfortable standing in the apartment with Jimmy. “Thank you, Dean.”

“You’re welcome Cas,” Dean says with a smile. “If you want-”

Dean’s cut off by the sound of a phone ringing. Castiel doesn’t miss the anger and hurt flash through Dean’s green eyes when Jimmy leaves the room. “He’s talking to Michael isn’t he?”

Castiel stands up and nods, “Dean-”

Holding up his hand to Castiel, he turns around to walk to the door. He stops and looks back, “How long has this been happening Cas?”

Castiel refuses to lie for his brother any longer. Hell, he hasn’t lied for Jimmy at all, but he didn’t tell Dean either. It makes his stomach twist with regret. He should have told Dean the first night about the phone calls. He walks over and puts his hand on the younger man's left shoulder. “While I was gone, I’m not sure if they talked, but since the night, I came back here to sleep Michael has called.”

Dean nods, giving Castiel a tiny smile that he can see right through. It's a fake, a mask to cover up the pain. It makes Castiel ache for Dean. “I should have known.” He shrugs, “I knew I wasn’t meant to be in a normal relationship.”

Castiel tilts his head, “What do you mean?”

“Nothing Cas. I’ll see you later,” Dean says opening the door and then walks out.

Anger courses through Castiel’s veins. He’s had enough of his brother’s selfishness. He walks to Jimmy’s room and opens the door without knocking. Castiel leans against the doorjamb and crosses his arms over his chest. “We need to talk.”

Jimmy holds up his hand in an attempt to make Castiel wait.

“Now Jimmy,” his tone leaves no room for argument.

Jimmy hangs up the phone and looks at his brother. “What is so important that we have to talk now?”

Castiel runs a hand over his mouth and huffs a laugh, “Are you that fucking stupid? Or just too damn selfish?”

Jimmy leans against the headboard of his bed. “What are you talking about, Castiel?”

“You’re a fucking moron. Dean, you remember him, your boyfriend. How you’re hurting him by being a prick and talking to Michael.”

Jimmy laughs, “Why do you care Castiel? Michael and I are friends, nothing more than that.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose Castiel says, “This isn’t like you, Jimmy. Before Michael, you would have never considered hurting someone. Then I met him and you two broke my heart. I left for  _five_  years, five  _fucking_  years Jimmy. Haven’t you learned from your mistake? Why repeat history and hurt Dean with it?”

Jimmy stands up from the bed. “I know what I’m doing. No one is getting hurt.”

Castiel sighs, “I can’t believe we share the same DNA. You have a gorgeous, hilarious, and loyal man down the hall that cares about you, and you’re too blind to see it. Instead of fixing shit with him you’re too busy talking to that douche bag.”

“If you care about Dean so much, maybe you should fuck him. And stay the hell out of mine and Michael’s business.”

Castiel’s mouth drops open. Oh sure, he has thought about getting Dean in bed a few times, but that would never happen. Dean is Jimmy’s. “Don’t fucking tempt me, brother, you’ll  _regret_  it.” He turns around and leaves Jimmy standing in his room. He grabs his jacket and storms out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

Walking down the hall Castiel is fuming. He needs to get far away from his brother so he decides to rent a room for a week or so. Until he can find a place of his own. As he passes Dean’s door it opens. He keeps moving, even when he hears Dean calling his name. He opens the door to the building and walks outside.  Castiel turns to his left and puts on his jacket while speed walking. It’s humid out, but the rain is coming down in sheets. It’s been raining off and on all week. Making it impossible for any outdoor activates. If the rain continues to get worse they will have a flood situation on their hands.

Dean is hot on Castiel’s heels and catches up to him near the parking garage. “Cas, damn it would you stop for a minute.”

Castiel spins around, “What, Dean?”

Putting his hands up Dean says, “Whoa retract the claws there, Cas. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Castiel sighs because this whole fucked up situation is not Dean’s fault. He counts to ten to calm himself down. “I’ll be fine once I get a room and away from my brother.” He pulls his jacket closer to himself, although it is pointless. Both men are soaked.

Dean reaches out and grabs Castiel’s arm. “Come back to my place, Cas. You’ll catch your death out here.”

Shaking his head, Castiel pulls out of Dean’s grip. “I can’t do that, Dean.

“Why the hell not?”

Castiel steps forward and pushes Dean up against the wall of the building. He slots their bodies together making the brick bite into Dean’s back. “Don’t you get it, Dean?” He moves his head in closer to where their lips are only a breath apart. “I can’t keep my hands off you. While I was in Nevada, I kept dreaming about you and I’d wake up at the same time every morning from them. They were so real that I would reach out for you.” Castiel leans his forehead against Dean’s. “The more I’m around you the less I can fight my urges. I can’t do this with you. You’re Jimmy’s.”

Dean’s mind is spinning. Castiel dreamed of him? He wants to ask what the dreams were about but now is definitely not the time. He has to get Castiel inside. He licks his lips and pushes off the wall gently, their bodies still touching. “Cas please I’m begging you. Don’t leave again. Just come back inside with me. Put some dry clothes on and we’ll talk about this in the morning. I’ll help you look for a place if that's what you want. Until then you're more than welcome to stay with me. With us, Sam would kill me if he found out that I didn't at least offer. I told you that you’re family. I meant that.”

The older man steps back and looks off to his left. He knows the nearest motel is five blocks away. He would be fucking insane to walk in this downpour. Nodding his head, he says, “Fine, just for tonight.”

* * *

 

Back inside Dean’s apartment after they both changed. Sam is sitting at the table with coffee sitting in front of him. Castiel and Dean sit down and drink the hot beverage trying to warm their bones. Sam asks what happened and Castiel explains about the frequent phone calls. Dean fills in the information about what happened when he went over to give Castiel the book. Then Castiel finishes by telling both Winchester brothers about the fight. Sam keeps quiet the whole time, which is unlike Sam unless he is pissed and trying to keep himself calm.

Sam huffs a deep breath; clearly choosing his words before he speaks, “Okay so first things first. Dean, what are you going to do about this?”

Dean runs a hand over his mouth, “There’s nothing else I can do Sammy. I’m breaking it off tomorrow when I talk to him. He obviously has decided what he wants and I don’t give a fuck what he says. Those phone calls are not innocent. One maybe two I could understand, but every damn night? I’m not stupid.”

The younger Winchester nods and turns his attention to Castiel. “And you, Cas, what're you going to do?”

Castiel looks back and forth between the two men. Then he shrugs. “I’ll pack up my shit tomorrow and find a motel room to rent until I get my own place.”

Shaking his head; in a calm voice, Sam says, “The  _fuck_  you will. You have our place right here.” Castiel tries to argue, but the younger man stops him. “Don’t try to give me some bullshit that we don’t have room for you. When I’m not here you can use my bed. I also just bought an air mattress a few days ago to use on an upcoming camping trip. One you will be attending. You can sleep on that while I’m here.”

Castiel leans back in the chair, opens his mouth then promptly shuts it. A smile crosses his face because damn it, he has never had two people basically fight with him to stay. Everyone else in his life has just stood by and watched him walk away. He can’t help the feeling of warmth that spreads through him. Even if he tries to argue again he knows the Winchester’s won’t let him go unless there was a good reason for it. They are two of the most stubborn men he has ever had the pleasure of meeting. Castiel thinks to himself for a minute. Going through every reason why he shouldn’t stay, his attraction to Dean being the main one. They are both adults and know how to restrain themselves right? Before he can stop himself he opens his mouth and agrees to stay. The younger men give him the biggest grins that he has ever seen grace their faces.

Sam smiles, “Good it’s settled then. Now let’s drink some beer and play poker. How does that sound?”

Dean stands up to get the cards and beers, “Fuck yeah let’s do it. Prepare to have your asses handed to you, boys.”

Castiel shakes his head, “You said that last time and I stomped your ass. I believe I won a hundred dollars that night between the two of you,” he reminds Dean. He laughs when Sam and Dean both give him a bitch face. Castiel watches Dean shuffle the deck and deal the cards. “So last question having to do with my brother tonight. Would you do this for him, if the situation were reversed?” At the unanimous ‘no’ from the brothers, he tilts his head and can’t stop himself from asking, “What makes me so different.”

Dean gives him a lazy grin; “I told you, Cas-” he starts.

“You’re family.” Sam finishes for his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts??????
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> I may have missed little errors so if you see one I'm sorry. I'll fix them tomorrow.  
> The Church is an actual club in Deep Ellum. I just changed it to fit my needs.  
> Enjoy!!

It’s a relatively nice day in the mid-eighties; even though it’s the middle of July. The humidity is not its usual suffocating wall, but surprisingly tolerable. Dean sits down on top of a picnic table at a local park. A nice breeze blows, ruffling the back of his hair. It reminds him that it’s time for a haircut. He fiddles with the hem of his white muscle T-shirt, twisting the fabric out of shape. Dean only lets go of the material when his aviators slip further down the bridge of his nose. He pushes them back up to their original position. His attention then switches to the frayed edges of his ripped blue jeans. Taking the varying lengths of string and pulling on them. The sound of footsteps crunching on wood chips surrounding the table is what pulls him back to reality. Dean looks up to find Jimmy standing in front of him.

The man gives him a small smile and sits down beside him. “You wanted to talk,” he says. “What’s on your mind?”

“I think you know what this is about,” Dean replies giving Jimmy a side-glance. “It’s over, Jamesw.”

Jimmy looks down at his lap, “I assume this has to do with-”

Dean cuts the man off, “Michael? Yeah, it has to do with him and the phone calls.”

Jimmy sighs, “There is no reason for you to be upset over the phone calls.”

Dean pushes himself off the table and stands in front of the man. “No reason? No fucking reason? The person I’m dating is having nightly conversations with his ex and I have no reason to be upset? Bullshit Jimmy I have every reason, every fucking right to be upset. I’m fucking pissed.”

“Keep your voice down, Dean,” The older man says as he looks around at the other people. They were far enough away that the conversation couldn’t be heard.

“Fuck you. You lied to me, and for what? Is it because I don’t want to move in with you?” Dean starts pacing back and forth in front of the man.

“That has nothing to do with it.”

“Then why? Tell me why you would do this?”

Jimmy hangs his head, “I’m still in love with him,” he answers, his voice soft.

Dean stops pacing. All the anger drains from him. Yes, it hurts that this is happening. That Jimmy lied to him, but it doesn’t hurt him enough to remain angry, at least not at the man in front of him. Dean knows you can’t help who you love. Love is not something you can control and if you are one of the lucky ones to find it you have to hold on tight. “Then why didn’t you tell me? I would have walked away.”

The older man looks up, “That’s why I didn't. I knew I would lose you, Dean. I didn’t want that to happen. I love you.”

Dean nods, “Sometimes love isn’t enough is it?”

* * *

 

Later that same day when Dean arrives home, Sam and Castiel are sitting on the couch watching TV. Both men look at him, but neither of them say a word. They know Dean ended things with Jimmy today and that he would want space. The men are right. Dean needs time to think. Fuck that he wants to numb his mind. He grabs the bottle of whiskey and walks to his bedroom. Once inside, he unscrews the lid and takes a long pull from the bottle. He hisses at the burn going down his throat. It isn’t losing Jimmy that is bothering Dean. It's the fact that another one of his relationships failed. It boggles his mind. Why can’t he just find someone and be happy? He helped raise his brother. He loves kids and can get along with just about anyone. He isn’t quick to anger unless someone messes with his family. He has a high school education, attended school to become a paramedic. A stable job should be a good quality.

All this has managed to do is prove to Dean that there isn’t a person alive that is capable of loving him for him. They like him for his looks. Only care about him long enough to get a piece of him and then turn around and find someone else to give their heart to.  _‘You’re the type of person to have fun with Dean, not to settle down with.’_  He is so fucking tired of the shit. Well, he will just fix that problem. All he needs to do is lock up his heart, and not develop feelings for anyone. A string of one night stands, yeah, that sounds like a damn good plan. Lose himself in a random stranger's body for a night. No emotions will be involved. Dean keeps drinking while the memories of his ex-relationships fill his head. In the end, he drinks himself to sleep.

* * *

 

It’s been three weeks since the breakup. Every night is the same routine after Dean gets off work. He doesn’t bother eating just drinking until he passes out. Dean wakes up with his head pounding. Two aspirin and a glass of water are sitting on his table. He doesn’t take them but closes his eyes, wanting to get lost in sleep again. He tosses and turns in bed trying to get comfortable. Instead, all it does is frustrates him. Dean grabs his pillow and flings it across the room. He has to be at work in three hours. However, he doesn’t care enough to get out of bed to go. So he picks up his cell and calls Rufus. After their conversation, he gets up long enough to go to the bathroom and then goes in search of coffee. When he walks in the kitchen, his brother is cooking breakfast and Castiel is tidying up the living room. They say good morning and all Dean can do is grunt in response. Dean fills his cup half way and then grabs the bottle of whiskey out of the cabinet and tops his cup off. Wait the whiskey was in his room last night. That must mean whoever put the water by his table, grabbed it out of his room. Dean turns around and both men are watching him.

“What,” Dean asks; even though he already knows why they are looking at him like he’s lost his mind.

Sam looks at his brother. Dean knows the look too well. His brother is worried about him, but all Dean can see is the pity in his eyes. “Do you think it’s wise to drink before work?”

Dean shrugs, “I called out.”

The younger Winchester arches an eyebrow, “You called out? Dean, you’ve never called out. Not unless you were so sick you couldn’t move.”

“Yeah, well, I did today. Things change, Sam. I’m just changing right along with them.”

* * *

 

Later that night Dean decides, it’s time to put his plan into action. He dresses in a nice pair of jeans and a black muscle shirt. In the bathroom, he brushes his teeth, styles his hair and puts on cologne. He doesn’t bother with shaving. Dean walks back to his room and pulls on his socks and boots. One last look in the mirror and he is satisfied. He walks into the living room and grabs his keys.

Sam looks him over from where he is sitting floor in front of the TV, “Where are you going?”

Dean shoves his wallet in his back pocket. “Church,” he answers. “Don’t wait up.” He walks out the door not bothering to look back. He knows Sam will start in on him if he does. The Church in Deep Ellum is a nightclub. It caters largely to the college crowd, but tonight Dean doesn’t care. He just wants to forget how bad life blows right now. He walks downstairs to the parking garage and gets in Baby. Starting the engine, Dean pulls out onto the road and heads for the night club.

* * *

 

“Church?” Castiel asks, grabbing a beer from the fridge. “I didn’t take your brother as a religious person.”

Sam huffs a laugh. “He isn’t. The Church is a nightclub.” The younger Winchester leans back on his elbow. “It usually draws the college crowd in.”

Castiel sits down on the couch and sighs. “He’s taking the breakup hard.”

“I don’t think that’s what’s bothering him,” Sam says shaking his head. “He usually bounces back pretty fast. It has to be something else.”

Castiel shrugs. “Maybe he really loved my brother. It can’t be easy having me around as a reminder.”

Sam pulls himself off the floor and joins his friend on the couch. “He didn’t love your brother.”

The older man tilts his head, opens his mouth to speak then closes it again.

“I know my brother. This is going to make Dean sound like an asshole. But trust me, he’s not.” He runs a hand through his hair. “He settled for Jim because he didn’t want to be alone anymore. I’m sure there was something about the man that Dean liked. But he definitely wasn’t in love with him.” He sighs, "I never liked your brother. I mean he was an okay guy, but something was off about him. I didn't think he was a good fit for Dean."

Castiel takes a pull of his beer and swallows. “I wish we could help him.”

“You can,” Sam says; looking the older man in the eyes.

“How?” Castiel asks.

The younger Winchester smiles, “I’m sure you can figure that out, Cas.” He leans further back on the couch. “I’m not talking about sex, but I haven’t seen my brother open up to anyone the way he does with you. He doesn’t even think twice when talking to you; like he does it automatically. Plus, the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching him. There is something there. Just give him time to get over whatever he is dealing with. Then see what that something is.”

* * *

Two o'clock in the morning Dean stumbles in the door. He had one too many drinks while searching for someone to take loose himself in. Unfortunately, no one held his interest. The women were too pushy for his taste. Or maybe it was the fact they were women. Dean hasn’t been with a woman since Carman and prefers men. The men weren’t tan enough, their eyes not blue enough. Or their hair wasn’t dark enough. So he just enjoyed the music and drank at the bar. Dean moves quietly; or as quietly as his drunken ass can through the kitchen. His eyes flick over to the window and he squints in the darkness. The light from the bay window illuminates Castiel standing there looking out over the city.  _Fuck, I’m dreaming of him again._

He walks closer to his dream Castiel until he is right behind the man. Dean reaches out and touches the older man’s back softly. He moves his hands out to run along the man’s ribs. Castiel turns around and lets out a soft sigh. Dean moves his right hand to cup the back of Castiel’s head. He leans forward and brushes their lips together. Lips parting, their tongues move in sync. Neither man fighting for dominance because this kiss doesn’t have an endgame. It’s to map out each other’s mouth and commit it to memory. It’s a need to taste each other and get drunk on it. Castiel’s hands move under Dean’s shirt and rests on his hips. The warmth from them spreads through Dean and calms his mind. All the bad in his life comes to a screeching halt. Nothing matters but the man standing in front of Dean.

Castiel breaks the kiss and touches his forehead to Dean’s. “Did you drive home drunk?”

The sound of Castiel’s voice breaks through and makes Dean realize this is definitely not a dream. He won’t apologize for kissing Castiel. Because he isn’t sorry it happened. Dean’s hands drop away from Castiel's skin. “No, I called Benny. He drove Baby home and Andrea followed behind to drop me off.”

The older man huffs a sigh of relief, then takes Dean’s hand and walks him to his bedroom. He makes sure Dean gets in bed and pulls off Dean’s boots when the younger man forgot to do it himself. Castiel watches Dean shift up on the bed and grab a pillow, hugging it close. As the green-eyed man drifts between consciousness and sleep Castiel hears him whisper, “I miss you.”

He walks closer to the bed and sits down on the edge. “You know I’m not Jimmy, right?”

Dean sits up a little and says, “I know that. I don’t miss your brother. Not even a little bit. I miss hanging out with you, Cas.”

Even though it’s dark and no one can see it Castiel smiles, “Well, that’s an easy fix.” He reaches out and brushes Dean’s hair back off his forehead. “You’re so beautiful and intelligent even though you try to hide it. You’ll make someone very happy one day. Have sweet dreams, Dean” 

“If I dream about you again, Cas, they will be,” Dean replies, his voice soft with sleep.

* * *

 

Castiel walks back in the living room and sits down on the couch. He is at a loss of what to do about Dean. Watching the younger man drink himself to sleep every night is harder on him than he would have thought possible. Why couldn’t he have been the one to find Dean first? Oh, that’s right because his brother was a dick and Castiel moved. He lets his head drop back on the couch and stares up at the ceiling. All he wants to do is help Dean. The longer he is around the man the more his need to touch him grows. It’s not just a want anymore. He craves to touch the younger man in any way possible. There isn’t one past lover of Castiel’s that he can think of that has had this effect on him. None of them made him dream so vividly, made him yearn to kiss them. If he made a move on Dean he would be no better than his brother. Yeah, they weren’t together anymore but still it feels wrong to him. But the conversation he had with Sam comes to mind. Did Dean really see him as desirable? Well, of course, he looks just like Jimmy. So that would explain it.  _Wait did Dean say if he dreamed about me again his dreams would be sweet? Again? But that would mean he has dreamt about me before._

* * *

 

Dean finishes his shift for the day. His head has been pounding. It's apparently his punishment for going out and getting drunk. He has consumed so much coffee today to keep him going that he should have just opted for an IV full of the stuff. His sunglasses have been little help against the blinding sun and his eyes burn. He walks into the station to tell the guys he’d see them later.

“Winchester,” Rufus yells out as Dean walks by. “Get your ass in here now.”

He stops in front of his boss’ office and leans against the doorjamb, “You bellowed?”

“Smartass,” the older man says and points to the chair in front of his desk. “Close the door and sit down.”

Dean knows this can’t be good. Rufus never has him close the door when they talk. So he obeys the man and does as he is told. “What’s up?”

“I don’t know what has crawled up your ass lately Dean. But I don’t like it. I won’t tolerate it either. You’re off your game. You’re sluggish and you show up hung-over. That’s why I didn’t send you out on runs. You’ve never done that.” The man says as he leans back in his chair. “You’re on leave effective immediately. Two weeks.”

Dean pinches the bridge of his nose. “That’s not necessary.”

Rufus sits up, folds his hands, and puts them on the desk. “Boy, I’ve known you since you were knee-high to a grasshopper. In all those years, I don’t think I’ve seen you this far off in left field. Take the paid leave and get some rest. Or I’ll suspend you. It’s your choice.”

Nodding Dean gets up and tells Rufus he’ll take the leave. “I’ll see you in two weeks.”

Rufus walks him out to his car. When Dean opens the door, the older man looks at him in the eyes. “Dean please take care of yourself. I’m worried about you.”

Dean hugs the man. “I’m fine, Rufus.” He pulls back and gives a small smile.

The older man nods, “Keep it that way.”

* * *

 

Dean slides in behind the wheel and grabs his cell phone. He knows just how he wants to spend the next two weeks off. He slides his finger over the screen and pulls up the name he is looking for then hits call.

“Talk to me,” a voice says over the line.

“Trenton, you sexy bitch,” Dean says smiling, “Talk dirty to me.”

Cole huffs a laugh. “Dean I haven’t heard from you in forever, stranger.”

Dean bites his bottom lip. “Yeah, it’s been awhile. Anyway, I have two weeks off and I was wondering if you wanted me to come down and tear up the town together.”

“I don’t know how much partying the wife will let me do. But I could definitely use your help on the ranch. You remember my dad died a few years ago? I’ve been running it by myself since then.”

He huffs out a sigh, “Yeah I miss that man. I’ll be glad to help, though. I’ll be there in say two days?”

“Sure sounds good, brother. See you then.”

* * *

 

Dean walks in the door tired and wants nothing more than a drink and his bed. Sam and Castiel are at the table playing cards and all his exhaustion drains away. He grins at both of them. Tossing his keys down on the table, he walks over to the fridge and starts pulling out stuff for dinner. Behind his back, the other men look at each other and shrug. Dean moves around in the kitchen getting everything he needs. “You two are awfully quiet today,” he says over his shoulder.

Sam turns in his chair so he can see his brother better, even though he’s basically be talking to his back. “Are you feeling okay?”

Dean huffs a laugh, “Never better, little brother.” After putting water on to boil, he turns around and leans his hip against the counter. “Rufus put me on leave for two weeks.”

Castiel arches an eyebrow, “And you’re happy about that?”

A lazy grin crosses his face, “Not really but I have no choice. It was either that or suspension.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m happy because I get to be a cowboy again.”

Tilting his head Castiel asks, “A cowboy?”

Sam looks over at their friend. “Yeah, Dean worked on his friend’s family Ranch in Azle for a couple summers.”

The thought of Dean in tight jeans, shirtless, sweat dripping off his body off his body makes Castiel shift in his chair.

The youngest Winchester chuckles at Castiel but doesn’t say anything. “Maybe I can get a few days off and bring Aaralynn with me to visit.”

Dean turns back to the stove and flips the meat in a skillet. “Hell yeah Sammy, she’d love it.” He turns around and looks at the two other men. “I can’t wait. I missed working on the open Texas land under the hot sun. And it’s so beautiful out there.” Dean smiles at the memory of Castiel’s cowboy comment. He locks eyes with the blue-eyed man, “You want to come with me? I’ll show you how a real cowboy ropes and  _rides_.”

Castiel breathing hitches slightly. He prays to whatever higher power is listening that no one can see the hard on he has to be sporting after hearing those words. Castiel knows that Dean meant every sexual innuendo. Well, two can definitely play at that game. He knows it probably won’t end with them in bed. But he can sure have fun making the younger man squirm. “Yeah,” is all he can manage to say. He clears his throat and smiles. Dean Winchester will be the death of him, but he can’t think of a fucking better way to die. “Let's see if you can hang on for longer than eight seconds.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts???  
> I feel like this chapter wasn't really up to par with my previous. I hope you have enjoyed it. I did struggle to try to get it perfect. I hope it doesn't show.
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.
> 
> A/N: I don't know if I made it clear in chapter 7, but Sam is coming to visit later in the week. So for now it's just Cas and Dean at Cole's.
> 
> Special thank you to MoniJune for being my beta!

_It’s all the same, only the names will change...  Every day it seems we’re wasting away...  Another place where the faces are so cold...  I’d drive all night just to get back home...  I’m a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride...  I’m wanted dead or alive...  Wanted dead or alive..._

_Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it’s not for days...  And the people I meet always go their separate ways...  Sometimes you tell the day...  By the bottle that you drink...  And times when you’re alone all you do is think..._

_I’m a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride...  I’m wanted dead or alive...  Wanted dead or alive..._

_I walk these streets, a loaded six string on my back...  I play for keeps, ‘cause I might not make it back...  I’ve been everywhere, and I’m standing tall...  I’ve seen a million faces and I’ve rocked them all…_

“Dean,” Castiel’s frustrated voice breaks through Dean’s singing.

He reaches over and turns the radio down, then looks at the other man grinning. “Yeah, Cas?”

The bitch face Castiel throws his way could rival Sam’s. They have been spending entirely too much time together. “How many Cowboy related songs are we going to listen to?”

Focusing his eyes back on the road Dean’s grin gets wider. “All of them. Or as many as we can fit into the trip.”

The groan Castiel makes only has Dean roaring with laughter; turning the song back up and singing the lyrics with passion at the top of his lungs.

“Cause I’m a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride.”

“I’ll give you something to ride,” Castiel mumbles in response as the Impala’s tires tears up the asphalt as they travel down I-30 W making their way to Azle. It’s four in the morning, not many cars out on the highway at this hour. They will avoid traffic and be there in time for breakfast. It was a pain in the ass waking Castiel up, but after Dean waved a cup of coffee under the man’s nose he willingly got out of bed.

Castiel shifts down further in the seat. He wants coffee by the bucket full. Dean, of course, made some before they left the apartment, but it wasn’t enough. Castiel had not been able to sleep well the previous night. He had made the mistake of staying up late and when he passed by Dean’s room he clearly heard his name being moaned. He stopped dead in his tracks when he heard it again. Castiel walked back to Dean’s door and the narrow opening provided enough of a view to see the younger man’s bed. At first, it seemed innocent enough until Castiel noticed the sheet moving. He put two and two together and knew what Dean was doing. He had to tear his eyes away from the beautiful sight and walked to the bathroom. His erection ached in his pants. Although he knew it wasn’t a good idea he couldn’t stop himself from stroking himself to the sounds Dean was making. The walls were terribly thin and he heard every gasp, every moan, every time his name fell from those gorgeous lips. When he came he almost thought he was going to black out and he had to grip the sink tight. As soon as he pulled himself together he walked back to his bed and lay awake until sleep eventually pulled him under.

* * *

 

Dean turns off the main road pulling up into Cole’s driveway and pulls himself out of the car. He hasn’t been here in years and his skin hums with excitement. His eyes survey the land. On the outside nothing much has changed over time, one hundred and eighty-six acres of lush, gently rolling green spreads out in front of him. He remembers the lay of the land well. The hay barn along with the cattle barn is off to the right. The stables for the horses are close by that. There is a line of ranch hand houses off to the left out in the distance. Of course, those haven’t been used in years. The front door swings open and Cole’s wife steps out. Dean walks up to the woman, picking her up and swinging her around. When he places her back on her feet, he presses a soft kiss to her forehead. “Shayla Trenton. My… my… my…you’re still as pretty as the day is long.”

Cole appears in the doorway leaning against the jamb and smiles at his friend. “Are you hitting on my wife again, Winchester?”

Dean grins as he shakes Cole’s hand, and then pulls him into a hug. “Always.”

Shayla’s eyes finally fall on the man standing right behind Dean. “Oh, Dean, you said your boyfriend was handsome, but that was an understatement. He’s gorgeous.”

 _Shit_ , that’s right he told Cole and Shayla about Jimmy, it slipped his mind. Dean didn’t mention Jimmy by name, but they still knew he was dating someone. Castiel opens his mouth; obviously about to correct Shayla’s mistake, but Dean interrupts him.

“I know, right,” he replies, slipping his hand into Castiel’s, pulling the man closer and then looks at him with pleading eyes. “Baby, this is Cole and Shayla Trenton. Cole, Shayla, this is Castiel. My Cas.”

Castiel shakes both of their hands with his free one; Dean still has his other in a death grip. Cole moves out of the doorway allowing the men to enter. “I’ll show you both to your room and then you two can wash up for breakfast,” Cole says leading them down the hallway. Dean doesn’t miss Castiel arching his eyebrow at him as he follows his friend. Cole opens the door to one of the spare bedrooms and steps back. Castiel follows Dean inside and puts down his bag. Cole nods at them and walks away to the other side of the house. As soon as Castiel knows they are alone he rounds on Dean.

“What the fuck was that,” he asks.

Dean rubs the back of his neck, “What,” he asks innocently.

Castiel steps into Dean’s personal space, making the younger man walk backward. “Oh, don’t try to act innocent. I’m not my brother and I won’t act like him.”

His back presses up against the wall and Dean’s sigh sounds almost like a soft moan. “I’m not asking you to,” he hisses. “They don’t even know Jimmy’s name, just that I was dating someone.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Look, I’ll tell them you’re not my boyfriend.”

Castiel presses himself up against Dean. “Oh, it’s too late for that, Winchester. I’ll play the part,” he leans in closer to Dean’s lips; his warm breath ghosting over them. “I just hope you realize what you’ve signed up for.” The blue-eyed man moves to the left and his lips graze Dean’s ear, making the younger man’s breathing hitch. “No holds barred. You’re officially fucked.” Castiel steps back away from Dean. A smug smile creeps across his face when he sees Dean’s lust blown eyes.

* * *

 

“So how long have you two been dating, Dean?” Shayla asks after taking a sip of her orange juice. Dean looks at his friend’s wife. Cole just told them he is going to be a father in four months. Shayla has cut out all caffeine for her pregnancy. He clears his throat glancing over at Castiel. Unsure of how to answer without making Castiel feel like he has to act like Jimmy.  He would never want that to happen. Dean is attracted to Castiel because of how different the man is from his brother. Yeah attracted, he isn’t even trying to deny the fact any longer. The two men are yin and yang. One man could never compare to the other. Without thinking he answers with the truth, “I’ve lost count. Honestly, it feels like I’ve known him my whole life.” His words pull a smile from Castiel that reaches his eyes. The gorgeous depths of blue that Dean could lose himself in twinkle with their eyes meet. It makes Dean’s heart do a tiny flip because he knows he is the reason Castiel is smiling. He has made the man smile before, but this is different.

Cole huffs a laugh at the two men across the table. “Come on, Cowboy Casanova, let’s get to work.” He stands up and places a kiss on the top of his wife’s head then heads to the back door. Dean follows close behind his friend stepping outside, feeling the firm ground under his boots. “The animals need to be fed, and a fence in the back forty needs to be fixed. But I need more than two hands for that,” Cole says over his shoulder.

* * *

 

Three hours later the two men are still mending the fence. Castiel joined them to help with the task. Cole wasn’t kidding when he said he needed help with it. The sun is set high in the morning sky, beating down on Dean’s neck, making sweat bead up on his skin. He didn’t realize how much he has truly missed working with his hands. Granted, he loves his job helping people when they need it, even saving people from certain death at times. It's definitely a rewarding job. But there is something fulfilling about this type of work. Dean peels off his shirt, tosses it to the side and walks to grab another fence post. He lays it down by his feet and picks up the post hole digger. Dean gets so lost in the task of breaking up the ground that he doesn’t hear the conversation behind him.  

Castiel watches every pull and ripple of Dean’s muscles in his back. His eyes track as a bead of sweat makes its way down and disappears beneath Dean’s blue jeans that are slung low on the man’s hips. Don’t even get him started on how bad he wants to run his tongue over Dean’s hip bones tasting the salty skin. It takes an extreme amount of willpower to keep his feet planted where they are and not knock the younger man to the ground and have his way.  

“That man has you wrapped,” Cole says as he stands next to the older man. Castiel doesn’t even register the fact that he nods in the affirmative. Cole shakes his head huffing out a laugh and places a hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “Just do me a favor?” Castiel flicks his eyes over to him. “Take care of him, would you? Dean has always been the caregiver and never lets anyone help him.” Castiel nods because he doesn’t know exactly what to say, but it apparently satisfies Cole because he smiles and walks off.  

After showering off the layers of dirt and sweat from a full day of manual labor and eating dinner, Dean walks out back joining the others. Shayla is curled up by Cole and Castiel is sitting on the porch swing. He walks over and sits beside the older man, a little closer than necessary. They are supposed to be acting as if they are together. So what could it hurt right? Castiel hands a beer to him, leans back; placing his arm around Dean’s back and pulls him closer. Dean can feel the heat rolling off Castiel’s body and leans into the man subconsciously.

Cole kisses his wife on her forehead and then looks over at the two men across from him. “So how did you two meet?”

Castiel feels Dean’s body tense next to him. He reaches his hand up; raking his blunt nails through the hair at the nape of the younger man’s neck trying to calm him. He turns his head and presses a small kiss at Dean’s temple. In a whisper low enough for only Dean to hear Castiel says, “Breathe. I’ve got you.” When he hears Dean inhale and exhale deeply he whispers, “Good boy.” He pulls back in time to see Dean’s eyes close and his body relax again. Castiel looks over at Dean’s friends. “We met through my brother actually.” There is no reason for him to lie about the way they met. But he doesn’t want to elaborate either.

Shayla smiles, “Well you’re obviously good for Dean. I haven’t seen him this relaxed around a person in… well never.”

Her husband nods his agreement. “I’ve known Dean since we were little. Our dads were old friends going way back. When we were teens, he worked here a few summers for my father. I don’t think I’ve seen him ever let go like that.”

Castiel hums, “Then I’m doing my job.” He moves his hand up and down Dean’s neck, massaging gently with his fingers. He smiles when he hears a soft sigh escape Dean’s lips.

Shayla pulls her leg up beside her. “So, Castiel is not a common name. Is it a family name?”

“My mother was a religious nut. She named me after an angel,” Castiel answers. His hands are still working their magic on the man beside him.

Dean’s brain finally starts to function again, “You’re going to put me to sleep if you keep doing that, Cas.”  

Castiel laughs, standing up he reaches for Dean’s hand and pulls him to his feet. “I think it’s time to get this gorgeous boy to bed.”

They say their goodnights and all four head inside the quiet house.

* * *

 

Dean walks into the spare room after brushing his teeth to find Castiel sitting back against the headboard reading. He closes the door behind him, the click of the metal sounds like a sonic boom to his ears. So far, Castiel hasn’t made good on his promise of no holds barred. Just little touches here and there throughout the day. Not to mention the amazing massage the man gave him. But nothing that Dean would consider torturous. Dean walks to the edge of the bed and sits down. He clears his throat causing Castiel to look up at him. “So I guess we are sharing a bed.”

Castiel huffs a laugh and closes his book. “It doesn’t bother me. What did you think was going to happen after saying we are together?” He pats the empty space beside him. “Don’t worry, Dean. I’ll only touch you if you ask nicely.” Dean scoots up, lies back against the pillows and closes his eyes. A wicked smile crosses Castiel’s face. He shifts down on the bed, presses himself against Dean’s side and leans his head in closer. Whispering in Dean’s ear; his voice a low rumble he says, “You know... the way you do when you dream about me.”

Dean's eyes fly open, “W-what are you talking about?”

The older man huffs a laugh, “You have a loose tongue when you drink, Dean. You basically told on yourself.”

Dean thinks for a minute, searching through the memories of the night in question.  _Fuck_  he damn sure told on himself. At least he didn’t go into detail of the dreams. He flips on his left side, his back to Castiel. “Yeah, well I can’t control what I dream.”

“So are you saying you don’t like dreaming about me?” Castiel asks.

Dean shifts looking over his shoulder at the other man, “I didn’t say that. Don’t put words in my mouth, Cas.”

Castiel pulls himself up on his elbow and arches an eyebrow. “What would you like me to put in your mouth?”

His breathing hitches and Dean swallows with a click. “Cas… shut up the hell up and go to sleep.”

The other man huffs a laugh and sits up enough to turn off the bedside lamp. Dean feels Castiel settle in for the night. The darkness surrounds them and he can hear the crickets chirping their lullaby. He is exhausted and he knows his muscles will be screaming tomorrow, but his mind is working overtime. The fact he is in bed with Castiel feels so… right to him. It shouldn’t feel this good to be next to him even though there is plenty of space between the two. He can still feel the heat from Castiel’s body. His palms tingle with the need to touch the tanned skin of the other man. To cherish every inch of flesh the man has to offer. An urge he hasn’t felt in a long time. It’s something he never felt the need to do in his past relationships. He had never taken the time with them, to just worship their body. It was always minimal foreplay used only as a way to get to the endgame.  Dean can’t piece the puzzle together of why he wants to do this with Castiel. What is it about this man that makes him want to feel again? Castiel makes Dean want to tear down the wall he built around his heart years ago. He shouldn’t want to touch his ex-boyfriend’s brother that way. His skin starts to crawl because the urge is wrong. It makes him worse than Jimmy. Or at least in his mind it does.  _“Way to go Winchester. Leave one brother’s bed and want to jump in the other brother’s bed. What a way to be a slimy fuck up.”_

“Dean,” Castiel asks his voice rough with sleep.

“Yeah, Cas,” he says over his shoulder.

“You’re over thinking again.” He huffs a sigh. “Sleep.”  

Dean turns over on his right side. The movement brings him closer to Castiel. He’s surrounded by the calming aura the other man radiates. Dean allows Castiel’s presence comfort him and sleep starts tugging at him. His eyes slip closed again and soon his mind stutters to a stop. He falls into a light, peaceful sleep.

Castiel hears Dean’s breathing even out. He smiles in the darkness and allows himself to just  _be_  in the moment. Castiel runs a hand through Dean’s hair. The sleeping man sighs at his touch. He presses a kiss to the top of Dean’s head. “Good boy,” he whispers against the younger man’s skin, and continues running his fingers over Dean’s scalp. “You’re so good. So beautiful, Dean,” he says near Dean’s ear. “Sweet dreams.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooo......  
> Thoughts????????
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.
> 
> Special thank you to MoniJune for being my beta!

For the third morning in a row, Castiel wakes up at the crack of dawn. His mind is still fuzzy with sleep; he turns his head and sees Dean is still lost in sleep. Castiel has never seen the man so at peace. Their limbs are tangled up together. No matter if they fell asleep on opposite sides of the bed, they would eventually find each other in the night. He can’t help reaching out and brushing the hair off Dean’s forehead. The younger man sighs and breathes out, “Cas,” a slight moan that Castiel barely hears.

The sound of his name on Dean’s lips goes straight to his cock. Castiel moves closer just to see what the other man would do. Their bodies pressed together Castiel kisses Dean’s forehead, his nose, and then brushes against his lips. He doesn’t know how long he will be able to deny himself of this man. Dean doesn’t make it easy. With the longing looks Dean gives him when he thinks Castiel isn’t looking. Dean whimpers against Castiel’s lips and he rocks his hips forward searching for friction in his sleep. It’s bad enough Castiel woke up with morning wood, but when Dean’s erection grinds against his, he can’t contain the deep moan from escaping his lips.

Dean’s eyes fly open and he tries to untangle himself from Castiel in a rush to get space between them. This, however, backfires because he was too close to the edge of the bed to begin with. Dean grabs a hold of Castiel’s wrists as he falls off the side, landing on the floor with a thud. The older man falls on top of him, landing perfectly between Dean’s legs and for a moment, neither man moves. Then the younger man starts laughing, softly at first, then louder with each passing second. Castiel tilts his head and starts laughing too. This is not the reaction he expected, but it’s better than what it could have been. “Well, good morning to you,” Castiel manages between fits of laughter.

Still laughing Dean pushes the other man, “Get off me, you asshat.”

The older man moves off him and pushes himself to his elbow beside Dean. “You seemed to be enjoying yourself.”

Dean shoves at Castiel’s shoulder, “Shut up, jackass,” he says with a smile. He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly and his eyes flick to Castiel. Their eyes lock and their bodies start to gravitate toward each other. The older man leans in, unexplainably drawn to Dean’s lips. Dean finally snaps to reality and he moves to get up; in his haste, his forehead connects with Castiel’s nose. Castiel’s hands fly up to his face and he groans in pain.

“Shit, Cas, I’m sorry,” Dean says reaching for Castiel. He can see blood drip from Castiel’s hand. “Fuck! Stay there.” Dean pushes himself off the floor, grabs his jeans and steps into them as fast as he can. He barely gets them buttoned before he is flying out the room and heading to the kitchen.

“Whoa, Winchester, where’s the fire,” Cole asks.

Dean opens the freezer door and searches for something to put on Castiel’s face. “I gave Cas a bloody nose,” he says.

Cole chuckles, “Damn, I’ve heard of rough sex, but you two don’t fuck around do y’all?”

Grabbing a bag of peas Dean closes the door and starts to walk back to his room. “Very funny, asshole, that’s not how it happened at all,” he says over his shoulder. Back inside the room Castiel is still sitting on the floor, his T-shirt from yesterday on his face trying to stop the blood. “Here use this,” Dean says and gently removes the material out of the way and places the cold bag of vegetables against the other man’s face. “Don’t move.”

“You’re awfully bossy,” Castiel says as Dean retreats from the room. He comes back in with a warm damp washcloth and starts cleaning the blood from the older man’s face. The man winces when Dean nears his nose.

Dean shakes his head. “I’m so sorry, Cas. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

Castiel huffs a laugh, “You know you could have just told me to fuck off instead of making me bleed.”

Dean sighs, “Cas, I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“You know you confuse the fuck out of me,” the other man says in frustration.

Dean’s hand goes still, “What?”

Castiel moves Dean’s hand away gently. He pushes himself to his feet and walks to grab a clean change of clothes. “It’s nothing, Dean. Forget I said anything. I’m going to shower.”

* * *

 

After both men shower and eat breakfast, they join Cole outside to help feed the animals. Castiel has remained quiet the entire time. He only speaks when spoken to. He isn’t pissed at Dean, not really. He is mad at  _himself_. He is  _pissed_  at his brother. Because no matter how many times Dean has said he never loved Jimmy, Castiel just can’t believe it. Dean’s actions speak louder than his words. He kicks himself for leaving when he did, because  _maybe_ , just maybe, he would have met Dean first. The younger man feels like a piece of Castiel’s soul that he didn’t know he was missing. Castiel walks to the horse stables and opens the doors. He just needs to get away for a few minutes and collect himself. Before he screws up again, God forbid he tries to kiss Dean again. He walks inside and looks around.

“Hey,” Dean says, walking up behind him.

Castiel turns around and smiles, “Hey yourself.”

Leaning up against the wood of the door, Dean rubs the back of his neck. “I just wanted to say I’m really sorry for what happened earlier.”

The older man nods, “I know you didn’t do it on purpose.” Castiel scuffs his boots on the ground. The ones that Dean made him go out and buy the second day they were here, along with several plaid shirts and a black Stetson. “I’m sorry too. It was pretty shitty the way I reacted.”

Dean smiles, “We all have our days, man. No need to apologize. Come on lunch is ready. I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry as fuck.”

Castiel shakes his head and follows Dean out of the stables. Before they walk into the house, the older man grabs a hold of Dean’s belt loop. He pulls Dean closer to him and leans in, kissing him on the forehead. At first, Dean doesn’t understand why Castiel kissed him, but when he turns his head, he can see Shayla is standing at the door. So he takes his thumb and presses it to his own lips, then places it against Castiel’s.

“If you two get any sweeter with each other I’m going to get a toothache,” Cole says grinning.

Dean rolls his eyes and walks inside behind his friend. Castiel decides right then that it’s time to step up his game. He isn’t really torturing Dean, but that is all about to change. Because that simple gesture lets Castiel know that Dean is interested in him.  _It was so simple, but it showed how he genuinely felt something. Dean didn't need to do anything, but he did for then no other reason than the fact he wanted to._  The younger man may not know it yet. Or maybe he is scared for some reason, but Castiel won’t make it easy on him now. He won’t stop until he gets what he wants.

* * *

 

The day stretches on and the men work together to get the ranch in order. They had started working on the ranch hand houses and wanted to get a couple finished before dinner. Cole had mentioned he was going to start actively looking for help. Dean is in the middle of sweeping out one of them when Castiel walks up behind him. The older man wraps his arms around Dean’s waist. He nuzzles against Dean’s neck, dropping kisses right behind Dean’s ear. The younger man’s body stiffens but it doesn’t stop Castiel.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers in Dean’s ear. “So perfect.” Castiel presses wet open mouth kisses down Dean’s neck. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Dean’s eyes slip shut and he relaxes against Castiel. “Good boy. You’re so good for me, Dean.” 

The sound of boots falling against the wood floor, snaps Dean back to the present, his eyes open. He tries to move, but Castiel holds him tighter. Cole looks at the other men and smiles, “You two are perfect for each other.”

Castiel smiles and kisses Dean’s temple, “I’d have to agree. Wouldn’t you, my love?”

Dean opens his mouth, but the words won’t form. What is he supposed to say to that? 

Cole huffs a laugh. “Dean speechless? Now I’ve seen everything.”

Castiel spins Dean around in his arms and rest his forehead against Dean’s. “Is everything okay,  _baby_?” he asks.

Dean can feel the older man’s warm breath against his lips. Fuck all he wants to do is close the distance between them. Lose himself in Castiel’s taste. The words that come out of Castiel’s mouth is everything he wants to hear, spoken to him in the dark as they lay together in their bed, but it’s not  _their_  bed. The words aren’t genuine. This  _isn’t_  real. It’s a sham. One that Dean pulled Castiel into and it’s not fair to the other man. He can’t confuse things between them. No matter how much he  _wants_  to. Because even though this feels  _good_ , feels  _right_ , he can’t expect it to last after they leave. It makes Dean wonder when he let his guard down around this man. Did he ever really have one in place?

“Shayla has dinner ready. Let’s hit the showers,” Cole says and walks to the door. “Oh, I thought it would be nice to take the horses out. We’ll head out before sunset.”  

Castiel kisses Dean on the nose, “Let’s eat,” he says and slips his hand into Dean’s, pulling him out of the house. They walk hand in hand all the way back.  The men take a shower in turn and then sit down to the meal Shayla prepared them. The conversation is light. They talk about what needs to be worked on the next day. Probably for the millionth time Cole thanks them for their help. Stating he wouldn’t have been able to do it himself.

* * *

 

After dinner, Cole goes out to saddle up the horses. Dean is excited about it for two reasons. One he hasn’t been on a horse since the last year he worked for Cole’s father. The second being the fact he gets to share this with Castiel. Dean grabs Castiel’s hand and leads him out the back door. The older man huffs a laugh at Dean’s excitement. In the stables, two horses are ready to go. Dean walks over to a black American Quarter horse. He gently rubs the coat, letting the animal get used to him. “His name is Abastor,” Cole tells Castiel while he helps Shayla mount the white horse. “And this one here is Lilith.”

Dean snorts, “And who named her again?”

Shayla looks over her shoulder, “I did.”

Dean mounts the horse and reaches out his hand to help Castiel up. “It’s fitting, that one is a little demon.” When the older man is snug up against him, Dean clicks his tongue. They set off at a trot by Cole and Shayla.  

* * *

 

They come to a lake near the property edge and Dean is more than ready to get off the horse. Castiel’s warm body pressed to his was driving him insane. Cole helps Shayla down and then grabs a blanket they brought. They lay it out on the bank of the water. It is a perfect view to watch the sunset. Dean sits down on the right side of the blanket so everyone had enough room. Cole sits down behind Shayla and she leans back on his chest. It doesn’t surprise him when Castiel does the same. What surprises Dean is the fact he actually leans back and feels at home in Castiel’s arms. Like this man’s body was made to hold him.

“It’s beautiful out here,” Castiel says. Dean can feel the vibration of the man’s voice shoot through his body. Castiel rests his chin on Dean’s shoulder, “But it doesn’t hold a candle to you.”

“Cas…” Dean says. He knows it’s pointless to argue with the man. He doesn’t believe Castiel when he says stuff like that, but damn, it’s everything he wants to hear. They watch the sunset in silence. The pinks, purples, and golds filling up the sky takes Dean’s breath away. This is one thing, of many, Dean misses about being out in the country. Here he can watch the true beauty of nature at its finest, the birds singing in the distance, and dragonflies skittering by in front of them. Even the croaks of frogs can be heard. Uninterrupted by car horns blaring, loud music coming from every direction, the wails of police cars and people yelling for no reason.

Castiel takes both of Dean’s hands and intertwines their fingers while they keep their eyes on the sky. “If you were truly mine,” he whispers beside Dean’s ear. “I would lay you down on this blanket and make love to you.” A shiver runs down Dean’s spine at the man’s words and his eyes drift close. “Because your body deserves to be worshiped.” Castiel kisses Dean’s neck slowly and the younger man moves to bare his neck more. “I’d hold your hands while I push inside you slowly. I wouldn’t stop until I pulled every sigh, whimper, and moan from you. I’d bring you to the edge over and over again until you begged for release. Then and only then would I allow you fall into the abyss. I’d reach into that darkness and pull you back again.” Castiel moves their interlocked hands until he is holding Dean closer to himself. “I’d take you apart with my mouth, my hands, my body until you shake beneath me.”

Dean shifts against Castiel. He is breathless and won’t be able to stand up for a while. Not unless he wants to let everyone know exactly how hard he is. “You’re an asshole,” he says. “You know that?”

Castiel huffs a laugh and kisses Dean on top of the head. “It’s been said.”

Dean leans his head back on Castiel’s shoulder where he can see the older man’s face. “Why do you say those things?”

Castiel flicks his eyes down to Dean, “Because they’re true, Dean.” He puts his forehead on the younger man’s. “If they weren’t I wouldn’t say them.”

* * *

 

“Dean,” he growls. “I want you so bad. So fucking bad,” Castiel says as he pumps two fingers in and out of the younger man’s body.

“I-I’m yours,” he whispers against Castiel’s lips.

“You don’t know how much I’ve wanted to hear those words from your beautiful mouth.”

The older man pulls him close and their lips meet. Dean’s brain ceases to function. His lips part, allowing Castiel to taste his tongue. Dean’s hand reaches up to cup Castiel’s head and pulls him in to deepen the kiss. His fingers tangle in the dark locks and he tugs on it. Castiel breaks the kiss, “More?”

“Fuck yes, Cas,” Dean moans, “More please - God I need more. I need you.”

“Patience, my gorgeous boy,” he says, adding another finger beside the other two. He hooks his fingers searching for that magic spot, wanting to make Dean fly high with pleasure.

Dean’s head falls back against the pillow, “Oh God.”

Castiel lets out a deep chuckle, “Cas will do.” He brushes his lips against Dean’s, “Or master. Whichever you prefer.”

If Dean’s brain hadn’t short-circuited from the pleasure he would have a comeback. “Please, Cas. I need you… inside me.”

The older man removes his fingers gently making Dean whimper from the loss. “Shhh, I’ve got you,” he says, moving between Dean’s legs. He slicks up his cock with lube that had been abandoned on the bed when they started this. He lines himself up, pushes into Dean slowly, and watches for any sign of discomfort.

“Fuck,” Dean breathes out.

“Oh fuck, Dean,” Castiel moans, “You’re so tight.” Inch by glorious inch he pushes inside of the younger man’s wet heat. “You’re so fucking perfect for me Dean. So fucking beautiful.” He bottoms out and doesn’t move because if he does, it will be over way too quick.  

Dean’s eyes slip shut and he breathes deeply, waiting for his body to adjust. It has been years, too many to count, since he had a man inside him. He almost forgot how good it felt. But this is different. This is Castiel. His Cas. It is nothing short of amazing. With his eyes still closed, he nods, letting Castiel know to move.

Castiel pulls out just enough, and then pushes back in. He sets a pace, not too fast, not too slow. Castiel lowers his voice an octave, “Open your eyes, Dean.” He snaps his hips forward and sees those beautiful green eyes fly open. “Good boy.” He hooks his hands underneath Dean and grabs a hold of his shoulders to use for leverage and he rocks deep inside Dean. Castiel lays his forehead against Dean’s. “You feel so fucking amazing. Do you know that, baby? So tight wrapped around my cock.”

Broken moans fall from Dean’s lips and Castiel knows he is close. Dean’s cock trapped between their bodies creating the perfect friction. “That’s it baby. So beautiful. Be a good boy and come on my cock. Can you do that for me, Dean? Come on my cock…  _Now_.” Castiel feels Dean shake with his release, come warm between their bodies.

“Cas… Cas…” Dean moans loudly as his orgasm washes over him. The younger man’s body clenches around him pushing Castiel closer to his own release. Dean slams their lips together and the sweet taste of him is what finally makes Castiel tumble over the edge. He practically falls on top of Dean. They lay there trying to catch their breath. Castiel starts showering Dean’s face with kisses. “So amazing Dean. Fuck, you’re so good for me. Such a good boy. So beautiful.” He claims Dean’s lips in a slow kiss. “Mine,” he growls against them.

Dean can hear the words falling from Castiel’s lips and he smiles. He knows he has found his home in this man’s arms. “Yours,” he manages to say. “Always yours, Cas.”

Dean’s eyes fly open and he sits up in the bed. His eyes search the room in the darkness and it takes a few minutes to realize where he is. His boxers are sticking to him, “Fuck,” he says in a whisper. His shirt is clinging to his body drenched with sweat. He hasn’t had a dream like this about Castiel since the man returned from Nevada. He looks over at the clock. It’s four in the morning. The exact time he woke up from all the other dreams. He looks over at Castiel. The moonlight from the window lights up the older man’s body. Dean’s hand reaches for the man. Touching him lightly because he can no longer fight the urge. He is totally fucked.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts????? I live for your feedback. It helps me with the next chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.
> 
> Special thank you to MoniJune for being my beta!
> 
> I apologize in advance .... don't hate me.....

The next day Dean is on edge. He doesn’t talk during breakfast nor while they are working. He pretty much keeps his distance from anything and anyone. His skin crawls and he isn’t sure why. All he knows is he has to find a way to make the dreams stop. He can’t dream about a man that isn’t his. Wouldn’t ever be his. It isn’t fair to Castiel and for some reason the dreams make him feel like a creep. Dean walks to the back land where the horses are. He leans against the fence watching the beautiful creatures. The day is winding down by now. They still have a couple hours of daylight, but the work is finished. The heat of the day has really taken its toll. For once it isn’t humid, but a dry heat; the kind that likes to suffocate you.

He lifts his gaze to the sky; the white clouds against the blue. It is breathtaking here. Dean coming back here, back to this place, makes him rethink his choices in life. Can he really go back home? Back to Dallas? In the beginning, being a paramedic was all Dean wanted. Now, well, he isn’t so sure. Hell, he isn’t sure about anything anymore. His skin itches with the need for change. Could he walk away from the life he made? The career he had for years? Cole mentioned in passing that if Dean ever wanted to work with him, he’d gladly take him on. This would be the perfect place to settle down and raise a family. Oh, who the hell is he kidding? He isn’t relationship material. His failures have proven that. There is an ache deep inside him, though, that wants more. An ache that wants a house, kids, a partner to share his days and nights with, but it will never happen so he buries those thoughts deep inside. Where no one can find them and they will never see the light of day again.

“A penny for your thoughts,” a voice says behind him.

Dean turns around to see Shayla smiling, but there is a concerned look on her face. He smiles and reaches out a hand to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Shouldn’t you be resting, Shayla?”

She shakes her head, “I’m fine, Dean. Just a little tired is all. Walk with me?”

He nods and they start walking the land, farther away from the house. Shayla slips her arm around his and sighs. She has been around him enough to know when something is wrong, but if she pushes he will clam up and put his emotions on lockdown. So, she waits. Just walks alongside him quietly.

“I’ve been thinking about what it would be like to take Cole up on his offer.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I guess in a way I’ve always seen myself out here, living on this land. Or maybe some land of my own, in the county away from the busy city.”

They stop under the shade of a weeping willow down by a small creek. He takes Shayla’s hand as she lowers herself to the ground. Dean takes a spot beside her and for a while, silence hangs thick in the air. “You and Cole are lucky to have found each other, Shayla. To have found the person you are meant to be with so early on in life. And now you’re adding to the family,” he says, reaching out and placing a hand on her stomach. His eyes go wide when he feels a little kick and Shayla giggles. “You’ve got a football player in there. That’s for damn sure.”

Shayla takes his hand in hers, “Why don’t you tell me what has your mind all messed up.”

Dean huffs out a small laugh. Shayla always knew when there was something deeper bothering him. He also knows better than to try to play it off as nothing. “I guess I’m a little envious is all.” His fingers pull at blades of grass, giving his hands something to do. This isn’t easy for him to say. “I thought I would be settled down by now. House, kids, the whole nine, I guess that just isn’t in the cards for me.”

“You have Cas,” Shayla reminds him. “That’s something. You could always work on the other stuff later.”

Shaking his head, Dean looks at his friend. “Uh, we’re not really together.” He flicks his eyes back to the ground. “I was actually dating his brother. We broke up not too long before I called Cole. I actually forgot I told y’all about Jimmy. So when I got here I panicked. I shouldn’t have asked Cas to play along. It was unfair of me.”

She places a hand on his shoulder. “Oh, Dean I’m so sorry. If I had known, I wouldn’t have said anything. I just assumed.”

He holds a hand up to stop her. “Shay, it’s fine. I should’ve had the balls to tell the truth. I was going to but-” he scratches at the back of his neck. “It was nice to pretend for a while.”

Shayla studies his face for a few seconds. “Dean, it’s natural to want certain things. When you look at Cas… there is something there. You know it as well as I do. You deserve to be happy.”

Dean huffs a laugh and looks out over the land in front of them. “I don’t know about that, Shay. I’m not relationship material. I’ve failed at every one I’ve been in.”

She twirls a lock of her brown hair between her fingers. “I haven’t been around as long as Cole, but I have been around long enough to know that isn’t true. You didn’t fail at anything. They walked out on you. Not the other way around.” Shayla releases her hair and starts playing with her cross necklace. She has worn it every day since Dean first met her. “Maybe you went through all of that to find Cas. You know, kiss a few frogs before you find your prince and all that.”  

He barks a laugh, “A fairy tale ending? Nah, I’ll be a bachelor for the rest of my life. I’m good with that.” He flicks his green eyes to her. “I’ve accepted that. I’ll just have to be the best damn uncle to every kid you pop out.” A slow smile creeps across his face. “Sam’s too. I know he is going to have a mess of them.”

“There you two are,” Cole says as he walks up to them. Castiel is standing beside him wearing his Stetson. He looks every bit of a true cowboy. “How about we eat dinner and some beers later on the porch?” He gives his wife a hand and pulls her up, placing a kiss on her head.

When Dean stands up Castiel walks up to him and tries to wrap an arm around him. Dean sidesteps him and notices the confused look on his friend’s face. “I told Shayla. We don’t have to pretend anymore.” Castiel nods and steps back as an unreadable look flashes across his face. Then just like that, his eyes are void of any emotion.

Cole cocks his head to the side and his eyes bounce between the men. “You told Shayla what?”

Dean turns to his friend and sighs, “I wasn’t honest with y’all when we got here. Castiel and I aren’t dating. The person I told you about was his brother, but we broke up not too long before I called you. When Shayla thought… well, I panicked.”

“Oh,” is all Cole can manage to say in response at first. “Well, let’s eat shall we?”

* * *

Dinner is quiet and tense. Dean comments on how delicious it is but other than that, no one really talks. Dean notices a shift in Castiel’s demeanor. It’s so minute that if you didn’t know him you wouldn’t even notice, but Dean notices. They help Shayla clean up and afterward she turns in early while they go out to the back porch. After a couple beers, Cole also turns in for the night, leaving Dean alone with Castiel. After a few minutes of silence Dean finally breaks. “Okay, what gives, Cas?”

Castiel takes a sip of his beer, letting the liquid roll over his tongue before swallowing it down. “What do you mean?”

“What do I mean?” Dean runs a hand over his mouth. “I thought you’d be happy I told them. You’re off the hook.”

The older man looks at him. There is still no emotion showing on his face or in his eyes. “I guess you’re looking for a thank you. So thank you, I guess.”

Dean tries to meet the man’s eyes, but Castiel looks away. “You’re confusing me here, Cas.”

The man stands up and walks off the porch. “Well, we’re even now,” he says over his shoulder walking away. 

Dean sits there dumbfounded, not really knowing what just happened. He looks up at the sky, watching a storm roll in. As much as he wants to sit there and ignore whatever is going on between him and Castiel he knows it’s not the right thing to do. Castiel is his friend after all and Dean is the one that pulled him into this. He pushes off the swing and takes off down the wooden steps. Castiel is walking in the direction of the stables, but stops and turns to head toward the creek. Thunder rolls in the distance and Dean knows the storm will be here soon so he quickens his pace. 

The hair on the back of his neck stands up. There’s electricity in the air. Even though Dean can’t see it he can smell it. The acidic taste at the back of his tongue that makes his stomach churn. It’s dangerous to be out in an electrical storm. Anyone with half a brain knows that, but here he is trying to keep up with Castiel. He knows they are going to be drenched by the time they get back to the house. Dean yells Castiel’s name, but the man doesn’t respond nor does he turn around. The sky turns angry and black like a billowing cloud of demons littering the vast space. He hears a clap of thunder like the rush of several archangels’ wings ready to go to war. There is a flood of white light flashing overhead and the heavens open up. Rain comes down like tears from above. It doesn’t stop him, though. His skin prickles with danger and awareness of his surroundings. He buttons his red flannel to keep himself from getting wet as much as possible.

He rounds the bend and thankfully, he can see Castiel standing at the water’s edge. Approaching the man slowly like a frightened animal that may pounce Dean says, “Cas, come on man it’s dangerous out here.” They only have minutes if not seconds before the storm gets worse. 

Castiel doesn’t say anything just looks over the water silently. Dean reaches out his hand and places it on the man’s shoulder. Castiel swats at it much like he would a bothersome fly. Dean feels his irritation flare, red-hot verging on anger. “Cas, let’s go.”

The older man flicks his eyes to Dean, “Why, Dean? Why do you care,” he asks stepping back. 

Dean can see a whirlpool of emotion behind those blue eyes. “I don’t want you to get hurt out here. You’re my friend.”

Castiel huffs a laugh, “You don’t want me to get hurt? You have a fucking funny way of showing that.”

White-hot anger boils up from Dean’s stomach and sears through his veins. The sky lights up again; reflecting in the cerulean eyes of Castiel. The raw hurt in them is like a punch in Dean’s gut. All Dean can think of is the need to get Castiel out of the rain, where it’s safe. He grabs hold of Castiel’s hand in a tight grip. The older man may be stronger than him, but he doesn’t fight for long. Dean pulls them toward the ranch hand houses. The screen door whines when Dean throws it back, slamming against the wood behind it. As soon as they step inside, the floodgates open up and rain comes down harder in thick gray sheets. Dean’s body is still thrumming with anger but relief at the same time. He moves around the room grabbing a few of the oil lamps. Taking his Zippo out of his pocket, he lights the wicks. When the room lights up with a yellow-orange glow Dean turns to Castiel. “Mind explaining why you decided to take a stroll in a fucking electrical storm.”

“It wasn’t storming when I started,” Castiel points out. “You didn’t have to follow me.”

“Are you kidding me? Damn it you don’t know the land as well as me. You could very well get hurt. Fall in a hole and twist your ankle. God forbid you go to the edge of the property where the land slopes and you break your fucking neck. How could you be so stupid?” Dean paces the room back and forth. 

“I could ask the same of you,” Castiel spits out, angrily like a cobra bite dripping with venom. 

Dean stops dead in his tracks and faces the man. His fists clench at his side and his throat goes dry. “What the actual fuck, man. How am I stupid?”

“Are you that fucking blind,” Castiel asks, crossing his arms over his chest. He is standing with his feet shoulder width apart like he is right for a fight. His blue flannel that Dean picked out because it matches his eyes is sticking to his skin. The jeans he is wearing clings to his muscled thighs like a second skin. His Stetson, dripping wet, shields his narrowed eyes, but Dean can feel the man watching him closely.

“I don’t know what-” Dean starts as he slowly walks toward the other man, standing toe to toe with him. 

Castiel cuts him off. “Us! Damn it I’m talking about us.” He yells, crowding Dean’s personal space, making the younger man step back a few steps, but he keeps walking. “You can’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

Dean shakes his head, “There is no us, Cas.” His hands shoot out in front of him, landing on the Castiel’s toned chest. 

Castiel tilts his head his eyes flicking over Dean’s face. “There could be.”

“You don’t want this, Cas.” Dean tries to reason. “You don’t want me. I’m broken. I screw up every relationship I’m in.”

The older man shakes his head, “That’s where you’re wrong. I do want you. I’ve wanted you since you kissed me. You want me too. I can feel it.” They stop in the middle of the floor. 

“I thought you were Jimmy,” Dean protests. 

Castiel winces at the mention of his brother’s name and Dean immediately regrets it. The older man steps back as if he’s been burned. “You love him.”

The older man turns to leave, but Dean grabs his wrist. “No. I never loved him, Cas.” His other hand tips Castiel’s hat back so he can see the man’s face. “I just can’t do this,” he sighs, dropping his eyes to the floor. “You deserve better.”

“So you do want me,” Castiel asks cautiously, stepping a little closer.

Dean’s eyes flick up to meet Castiel’s. “From the first time I kissed you yeah. But-”

The older man doesn’t let Dean finish his thought. He picks the younger man up with ease and walks until Dean’s back hits the wall. Dean’s first thought is,  _Fuck this man is stronger than he looks._ Then Castiel’s mouth is on his, hot and wet, his tongue demanding entrance. And that’s all she wrote for Dean’s brain. His body goes pliant and his hands grip Castiel’s shoulders to hang on for dear life. It’s all teeth clashing against each other and tongues fighting. Through waves of thunder, Dean can hear a primal growl ripped from Castiel’s throat. The sound makes Dean’s cock fill and stand at attention. If that wasn’t hot enough Castiel breaks the kiss, brings up his knee, balancing Dean on it against the wall. Both his hands fly to Dean’s flannel and rip it open, buttons flying everywhere. “Oh fuck,” Dean moans.

Castiel chuckles, “That’s the general idea. yeah.”

“Shut up, you dick,” Dean growls in response. 

“Such dirty words coming from those pretty lips,” Castiel says, pushing up Dean's undershirt as he lowers his mouth to Dean’s nipple. He moves his knee lowering Dean to the ground. 

Dean’s mind goes into overdrive and his hands go to unbutton Castiel’s jeans. The older man stops him and pins Dean’s arms above his head with one hand.

“Oh, I don’t fucking think so, Winchester,” he growls and moves his mouth up to Dean’s neck. He bites at the skin there and smiles when he hears Dean’s low moan. Castiel pulls back enough to take one hand and with a flick of his wrist, he unbuttons Dean’s jeans. His warm hand moves beneath the band of Dean’s boxers and cups Dean’s erection. “Is this what I did to you in your dreams?”

Dean’s head falls back against the wall with a thud. “Stop being such a fucking cock tease, Novak.” 

Castiel laughs and pulls his hand out then unbuttons his own jeans, pushes his boxers down just enough then does the same to Dean. He slots their bodies together, their cocks lining up perfectly. Castiel rolls his hips causing their erections to rub together. Dean hisses at the friction. His closes his eyes and he gets lost in the sensation of their warm bodies grinding against each other, Castiel’s hot breath playing over his skin. Their movements sync and soon they are moaning each other’s names. Their pre-cum providing enough lube making their cocks slide perfectly between them. 

The older man claims Dean’s lips once again. This time Dean submits, parting his lips, allowing Castiel’s tongue to dominate. Castiel’s teeth bite down on Dean’s bottom lip, pulling at it. The pain combined with the pleasure is almost too much. He feels the heat of his orgasm pool in his stomach. Dean’s blunt nails dig into Castiel’s skin making the man growl again. From the noises Dean is making Castiel knows he is close. He pulls back to watch Dean’s face. Undeniable pleasure radiates from the younger man. 

“Open your eyes, Dean,” the older man says. Dean obeys without a second thought. Streaks of lightning flash across the sky outside and reflect in the deep blue of Castiel’s eyes, “Come for me, Dean.” Those words send Dean flying over the edge, his orgasm crashing like a tidal wave through him. His vision whites out as he paints their chests with his release. Castiel comes a second later when he hears Dean moan his name. “Good boy,” he whispers in Dean’s ear, making the younger man hum in response.

Dean's legs feel like Jell-o and it seriously feels like his orgasm may have broken his brain, but he can't stop the small smile that crosses his face. "That was..."

Castiel sighs against his skin, "Yeah. It really was." He pulls away from Dean, releasing his arms.  

Dean shrugs off his flannel and uses it to clean up the mess on their stomachs. They pull up their boxers and pants, tucking themselves back in, and move over to the bed. Dean falls down on it trying to catch his breath. Castiel chuckles, "Well damn just imagine if I actually fucked you."

Scooting over to make room for Castiel, "Arrogance doesn't suit you."

Castiel huffs a laugh as he settles in beside Dean. He curls his body behind Dean's and listens as the man's breathing evens out. He smiles as he watches the storm rage on through the window. Peace settles in his soul as the missing piece locks into place. Soon the warmth of sleep claims him and he is lost in dreams of the man beside him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooooo.........  
> Thoughts???????  
> Hehehehehe  
> I didn't have a lube fairy up my sleeve so I hope this will do for now.....  
> Seriously what did y'all think?
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.
> 
> Special thank you to MoniJune for being my beta!

Warmth and early daybreak are what Dean wakes up to the next day. Castiel is curled up next to him with an arm slung possessively over Dean’s middle. _Why am I the little spoon?_  The memories of the previous night flood back to him and he smiles for a moment. He saw the fire and raw passion in Castiel’s eyes. The way the man kissed him. How Castiel’s hands felt on his skin. They way their bodies seemed to fit perfectly together. Then a wave of his own brand of reality hits him a nanosecond later. Damn it, why did he give into this handsome man beside him? Sure, he could carry on with this, whatever this is happening between them, but Castiel will tire of him just like the others and then he will lose his best friend. Motherfucker, of all the stupid things he has done in his life, this has to take the gold medal. So Dean lays there thinking of ways he can let the man down easy and still keep their friendship intact. That is the most important thing to Dean. His friendship with Castiel, he doesn’t want to ruin that. He won’t allow himself to mess that up.

A soft groan comes from Castiel and the man snuggles in closer to him. His nose is near the back of Dean’s neck, almost like the man is scenting him. Castiel’s warm breath ghosting over his skin sends a rush of arousal through Dean. He has to stomp that shit out quickly. He needs to get out of the bed before he loses the ability to remind himself this is wrong. This shouldn’t happen. So he tries his best to wiggle himself out of the older man’s grip without waking him up, but fuck it’s harder than it looks. Even while the man sleeps, Castiel has a hold on him that could be compared to a vise grip. Taking a deep breath, Dean picks up Castiel’s arm and shifts from underneath it. He lies as still as possible for a few seconds that feels like several minutes. Okay, just a few more seconds and he can get up and head back to the main house.

“Dean,” Castiel says, his voice rough with sleep.

Dean closes his eyes and attempts to pretend he is asleep.

“I know you’re not asleep. You haven’t been for the better part of an hour now,” he says.

Dean runs a hand over his face, “I was just trying to-”

Lifting himself up on his elbow Castiel looks down at Dean. “Just trying to sneak out and act like nothing happened last night? Try to find a way to let me down easy?”

“How-”

The older man sighs, “Dean, I’m not stupid. I figured this would happen. At least, give me the respect of telling me why you’re doing this.”

Opening his mouth to answer him, Dean’s excuses fall dead on his tongue. He doesn’t want to voice his fears, but he has to. He owes it to Castiel. Dean has to make him understand why they can’t do this. So he locks eyes with the man and the truth comes out. “I can’t be just a casual fuck for you, Cas. I just can’t.”

Just as soon as the words are out in the open, Castiel moves quickly. He straddles Dean and pins his arms to the bed. It makes Dean’s head spin.

“What the fuck?” Castiel growls. “How can you be so stupid? Why in the hell would I just want a casual fuck,” he asks through clenched teeth.

Dean struggles for a minute trying to get the man to loosen his grip. Castiel releases his hands, but makes no move to get off of him.

“Because that’s all I’m good for,” he answers, placing his hands on the older man’s thighs. “That’s all anyone has wanted from me. Sex. I’m fine with that, but I can’t be that for you. It’s different with you.”

“I’m interested in you for more than your body, Dean.” He cups the side of Dean’s face and leans in just inches from the younger man’s lips, bracing his weight with his other arm.

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to you. Last night proved otherwise. But I’m also interested in your mind, interested in all of you, Dean.” He brushes their lips together in a chaste kiss. “I want to date you, not just fuck you. There will be plenty of time for that later.” He pulls back to watch Dean’s face, noticing his words finally clicking into place.

“Date me?” Dean asks arching an eyebrow.

“Yes, date you. Pick you up and take you somewhere. I know you are well versed in how that works,” he answers, brushing the hair back from Dean’s forehead.

“We live together, Cas,” Dean points out. “Plus, you don’t have a car.”

Castiel waves his hand around, “Details. We can work past those.” He smiles down at the younger man. “What do you say?”

Dean closes his eyes. Can he do this? Date Castiel and see where this goes? Everything else has blown up in his face. Would this be any different? He isn’t sure, but why not, at least try it? He can no longer deny wanting this man. He opens his eyes and a slow smile creeps across his face. “Okay let’s do it.”

Castiel gives Dean a toothy grin, “Really?”

Nodding his head, Dean sits up as best as he can and gives Castiel a soft kiss. “Yes, really,” he says against the older man’s lips. “Now get off me. I’m starving.”

Castiel huffs a laugh as he rolls off the younger man and gets off the bed. They put their boots on and Dean follows behind Castiel as he walks to the door. The older man slips his hand in Dean’s, kisses his temple and opens the door. They walk slowly side-by-side back to the main house. It’s a beautiful day out despite the storm from the previous night. The morning sun is peeking out behind white clouds in the light baby blue color of the sky. Birds are chirping out their morning song. A few butterflies flitter by from flower to flower. There are several puddles of rain scattered everywhere. The air is fresh and Dean inhales deeply. A peaceful feeling washes over him and he smiles. This is where he needs to be, where he belongs; with the man walking beside him. The thought amazingly doesn’t scare him as much as it should. In fact, it doesn’t scare him at all. Instead, it feels like a missing piece of his life puzzle has been put into place.

* * *

 

Shayla is standing at the stove in the kitchen when they walk in. She doesn’t turn around when she hears the door close. “Breakfast is in ten boys. Wash up.”

Cole lowers his paper and takes a sip of his coffee. He looks at the two men standing by the table. A smirk crosses his face when he eyes the purple mark on Dean’s neck. “Have fun last night?” Dean arches an eyebrow at his friend. Cole huffs a laugh, “We noticed you weren’t in your room this morning. And judging by that love bite now we know why.”

Shayla finally turns around to see what her husband is talking about. She smiles at Dean and then walks to Cole. She taps him on the shoulder, “Pay up, Trenton.”

“You two made a bet?” Dean asks incredulously.

“We did,” she answers, nodding her head.

Cole takes money out of his wallet, then he places it back in and hands her the credit card. “Why don’t you pamper yourself today, love?” He reaches out and runs his hand over her stomach. “You more than deserve it.”

Shayla smiles, “You’re too good to me. I think I will after breakfast.”

Dean walks over to her and gives her a kiss on the cheek, “You better be glad I love you.” He looks over at Cole, “And you, Trenton, are an asshole.” With that, he walks to the bathroom to wash up. 

* * *

 

After breakfast, the men head out to feed the animals. Cole walks to a shed where he keeps the ATVs. He wants to make sure no damage was done from the storm. Cole points to the keys hanging up on the wall and each man starts the engines of the vehicles. One by one, they pull out and follow Cole. It takes a few hours to make sure they run the entire length of the property slowly.  Satisfied that no damage is found, Cole and the men head back. They park the ATVs and head back to the house. Cole grabs a few beers and they go to sit on the porch.

Shayla brings out an acoustic guitar and hands it to Dean. “Play something for me,” she asks, smiling; knowing Dean won’t refuse her request.

“I’m out of practice,” Dean points out as moves to sit down on top the table in the middle of the porch. “What do you want me to play?”

She taps her finger on her bottom lip, “The one you sang for us at our wedding.”

Dean nods, closes his eyes, and starts strumming the strings. At first, just a few chords to get used to playing again, it’s like riding a bicycle, though. He is vaguely aware that Castiel has moved from behind him to sit by Shayla and Cole. He opens them again when he starts playing the correct chords and starts singing;

"I'm gonna be here for you, baby.  I'll be a man of my word.  Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard.  I wanna sleep with you forever.  And I wanna die in your arms.  In a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm.  And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you.  And I'll earn your trust making memories of us.  I wanna honor your mother.  And I wanna learn from your pa."

He isn’t sure why, but his eyes flick from his friends to Castiel as he sings the following lyrics;

"I wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw.  I wanna stand out in a crowd for you.  A man among men.  I wanna make your world better than it's ever been."

Castiel raises an eyebrow at him. Dean smiles and returns his attention to Cole and Shayla.

"And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you.  And I'll earn your trust making memories of us.  We'll follow the rainbow.  Wherever the four winds blow.  And there'll be a new day.  Comin' your way.

I'm gonna be here for you from now on.  This you know somehow.  You've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now.  And I'm gonna make you a promise.  If there's life after this.  I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss.

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you.  And I'll earn your trust making memories of us.  I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you.  And I'll win your trust making memories of us."

After he stops playing he places the guitar down and moves back to the swing.

Castiel clears his throat and says, “I knew you could sing, but wow.”

Shayla giggles, “I try to get him to sing as much as I can when he visits.”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Dean says, “It’s no big deal really.”

“Stop selling yourself short, Dean,” Castiel replies. “You are immensely talented.” He smiles at the blush creeping across the younger man’s face.

Smiling Dean looks at Castiel, “Shaddup.”

“I think we should go out dancing one night,” Shayla says changing the subject. “We haven’t been in a long time. I think it would be fun.”

Dean takes a long pull of his beer, rolling the liquid around in his mouth. “I don’t dance,” he says after swallowing. Castiel moves back over to the swing and places his arm around Dean’s shoulder.

“That’s not true. You danced at our wedding,” Cole points out. “And I seem to remember you dancing at a few bonfire parties we had with friends out here.”

“I was drunk,” Dean says as if it would explain everything. “The bonfires were completely different. I was chasing tail and had to show off my best moves.” He turns his attention to the man sitting beside him. “Help me out here, Cas.”

Castiel shrugs, “It sounds fun. I can’t remember the last time I went dancing.”

“Hey,” Dean says in mock annoyance. “You’re supposed to be on my side here.” He places a quick kiss on Castiel’s cheek, pulls back and narrows his eyes at the older man. “You heathen.”

Castiel opens his mouth to reply but is cut off by Dean’s phone ringing. Dean pulls it out of his pocket and slides thumb over the screen to answer it.

“Hey, Bitch.”

His younger brother’s laughter comes over the line. “Hey, jerk. I thought I would give you a heads up. Lynn and I are heading out in the morning.”

“That sounds good man. Get ready, though, Shayla is making us go dancing.”

Sam laughs again, “You don’t sound so enthusiastic about it.” He doesn’t wait for Dean to reply to that. His voice suddenly becomes serious. “Oh, I wanted to tell you before you heard from anyone else. Jimmy moved out of his apartment today. I was downstairs when he was loading the moving van.” He clears his throat. “He is moving in with Michael.”

Dean feels his stomach twist. It’s almost as if Castiel senses something is wrong. The older man starts massaging Dean’s neck. Dean isn’t hurt by the knowledge Jimmy moved. He doesn’t miss being with him, but there is still that slight tug at his heart knowing their relationship was a lie. How could it have been anything else? Okay, so maybe the whole thing wasn’t a lie. Dean knows he can’t really be mad at the man. Hell Dean is dating Jimmy’s brother. Maybe it’s just the fact he knows they were probably talking about it while Dean was still in the picture. Because he has to admit to himself that he is happier without Jimmy. If he is completely honest with himself, the day Castiel showed up Dean has been happier than he has in years. No, he decides it’s because he doesn’t know how Castiel will take the news.

“Dean,” his brother asks pulling him out of his thoughts.

He sighs, “Yeah I’m still here. Good for him. I wish them the best. I’ll see you when you get here tomorrow Sam.”

They say their goodbyes and Dean ends the call. He looks over at Castiel and gives him a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. Dean doesn’t want to upset the man but he has to tell him. He decides to wait until they are alone, though. Dean doesn’t want to rip open an old wound in front of everyone.

Cole gets up and walks down the steps saying he is going to fire up the grill for hamburgers. Shayla walks inside to make the patties. Castiel puts his finger under Dean’s chin and lifts up his face, “What’s on your mind?”

Dean’s eyes flick down. He doesn’t want to see pain in those blue eyes. “Nothing,” he lies.

“Don’t hide from me,” Castiel says with a stern tone in his voice.

His eyes move back up to meet Castiel’s. Running his eyes over the handsome face in front of him, he sighs. “Jimmy moved in with Michael today.”

Castiel nods, “You’re upset,” he says.

Dean shifts to where he is fully facing Castiel while seated. “No. I’ve told you, I don’t miss Jimmy. I’m more worried about you.”

The older man tilts his head and his eyes soften a little as he smiles. “Why would you worry about me?” He runs his fingertips through Dean’s hair. “Honestly, I could care less about what those two do.”

“You got mad when you found out they were talking,” Dean points out. “So I thought-”

Shaking his head, Castiel says, “You thought wrong. I was pissed because I knew what my brother was doing would hurt you.” He gives Dean a peck on the lips. “Thank you for thinking of me, though.”

* * *

 

Dinner was delicious and filling. Dean could get used to this; living out in the country with nature surrounding him. The fulfillment of having someone by his side and his friends close by. He would miss Sam, but he knows that his brother is making a life of his own now. Something clicks in his brain and he realizes that he hasn’t been living, not really. He has just been going through the motions. Doing what he has needed to do to take care of his brother, working to keep a roof over their heads. Much like his mother did before she passed. He wonders why the thought never occurred to him before. He doesn’t regret it one bit. Dean would do it all over again in a heartbeat, but now maybe he can start living for himself. Do what makes him happy, not necessarily doing what is expected of him. To be fair, no one expected him to do the things he had done. He made his own choice to move out of Ellen’s when he did and finish raising Sam by himself. If he thinks about it long enough he did it because he wanted to make his parents proud even though they were no longer alive. Warmth washes over him at that thought. He knows they would be proud.

As he strips out of his clothes later that night, he smiles at Castiel. The older man’s hair is sticking up in a million different directions, his reading glasses perched on his nose as he reads a book. He crawls in bed and settles in for the night. His eyes close and he takes a deep breath. He hears the click of the lamp switching off and the bed move next to him. It feels so good to lay with someone in the dark before drifting off to sleep. Dean never spent the night over at Jimmy’s or with anyone else for that matter. He hasn’t allowed himself to actually sleep with someone since Carmen. So why was it so easy to do this with Castiel? Why does it feel like this man was made for him to fall asleep beside for the rest of his life? Castiel places his arm around Dean's waist and snuggles in close behind him. His warm breath moves the small hairs on the back of Dean's neck. Dean kisses his thumb of his left hand and reaches behind him to place it against Castiel's lips. The older man huffs a laugh and kisses it back. Dean smiles as he listens to the older man's breathing even out. Maybe just maybe this could be Dean's happy ending. He knows it's too soon to tell right now. Yet he has faith that he has never had before as the weight of the day tugs at him and he is lost in sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ......  
> Thoughts?  
> Sorry, my muse left me for a few days. She is back now and I handcuffed the bitch to a chair. Hopefully, she won't be able to break free.
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.
> 
> Special thank you to MoniJune for being my beta!

After breakfast the following morning, Dean is patiently waiting for his brother to arrive. Okay, so that would be stretching it. He is pacing back and forth on the front porch. Every time he hears a vehicle drive by, he looks up expecting to see Aaralynn’s truck pulling up. So far, no such luck.

“Will you come inside?” Castiel asks, standing behind Dean. “They’ll be here when they get here.”

Dean doesn’t bother turning around, he just says, “You hush.”

The older man walks up behind Dean and wraps his arms around his waist. “Are you nervous?” he asks as he places a kiss on the back of Dean’s neck.

“Why would I be nervous?” he asks, letting his head drop back on Castiel’s shoulder.

“Well,” Castiel begins, “because of us.”

Dean turns around in Castiel’s arms. “No, I’m not.” He brushes their lips together and sighs, “He won’t care. I know he won’t. Besides, I’m going to live my life for me and no one else.”

“Good. I know he won’t either,” Castiel says. “I just didn’t know if you knew that.”

Dean pulls out of Castiel’s arms but slips his hand inside the older man’s. He walks down the steps and sits down on one of them. Castiel sits down beside Dean; they are silent for a few minutes. It’s a beautiful morning already. The sun is shining, but it’s not too hot. In the pasture laid out in front of them, the cattle are grazing on the grass, the sounds of them bellowing, and a few grunts fill the air. A flock of birds flies overhead and calls out. Finally, Dean looks over at Castiel, “I’m thinking about moving out here.”

Castiel flicks his eyes up to Dean’s, “I know,” he says smiling.

Dean returns the smile and bumps his shoulder against the older man’s. “How do you know me so well?”

Castiel shrugs, “It’s a gift.”

The sound of an engine humming gets Dean’s attention. He looks to the road in time to see Aaralynn’s Chevy truck pull into the drive. The sound of gravel crunching under its tires drowns out everything else. Dean jumps up when the truck comes to a stop. He opens the passenger side door and helps Aaralynn hop down. Then he wraps her in a bear hug. “It’s good to see you, Lynn,” he says and gives her a kiss on the forehead.

She smiles, “It’s been a while. I’ve been so busy lately.” Her amber color eyes are shining as she runs them over Dean’s face. When they trail down slightly she says, “Seeing that nice purple hickey it looks like someone else got busy.”

“Who got busy?” Sam asks, walking around the truck. His eyes look from Dean’s neck to Castiel who is smiling, obviously proud of his handy work. Sam huffs a laugh and says, “It’s about damn time.”

Dean points to Sam, “You shut your face.” He turns to the man standing beside him. “And you,” he pokes his finger against Castiel’s chest. “No more leaving evidence above the collar.”

“You’re no fun,” the older man replies, mischief twinkling in his blue eyes. “I like marking what’s mine.”

Dean opens his mouth ready to reply, but nothing comes out. Because what is he supposed to say to something like that? Instead, he puts his hand in Cas’, prepared to walk to the house. Before he can, he hears a loud screech of tires and then the sound of metal crunching. His training kicks in and without a word, Sam tosses him the keys to Aaralynn’s truck. Dean runs around to the driver’s side and jumps in; Sam and Castiel slide in the other side. Dean throws the truck in reverse, he hears Cole yelling while running toward them; he hits the brakes.

Cole hops in the bed of the truck and Dean reverses out of the driveway and then speeds down the road in the direction the sound came from. A mile up the road they find a car that careened off the road and slammed into a tree. Just from first glance, he counts three people, a mother and two small children. Dean is the first one out of the truck and runs to the side of the car. He smells gas heavy in the air. “Cas, call 911 and get to a safe distance,” he yells over his shoulder. “We have to get them out of there before it catches fire.”

Cole and Sammy open the back doors to extract the two children. He notices a fourth person there is a male driver but when Dean gets closer the man yells, “My wife, get her out first. I’m pinned anyway.” Dean runs around to the passenger side and grabs for the door. Opening it he reaches in and tugs at the seatbelt but it’s jammed. He grabs his pocketknife out of his jeans and starts cutting into the material. He knows he is running out of time. Thankfully, the woman is of help and manages to wiggle out of the chest strap. Dean puts her arm around his shoulder, picks her up and takes off running to a safe distance. He sees Cole performing CPR on the youngest child and his heart wrenches. He puts the woman down and turns back around, “Sammy I’ll need your help,” he yells already running back to the car. Halfway back the car goes up in flames and a loud explosion rings out. It’s like time stands still. Dean can hear the woman’s screams, but he can’t stop his body from moving. Sam has to grab him and tackle him to the ground.  

Dean looks around and he notices someone is missing. “Where’s Cas?” he asks. “Where the fuck is Cas?” he yells again. The blue-eyed man in question comes out of the smoke carrying the driver. A million questions spring to his mind. Sam moves to let Dean get up and he immediately runs to help the man. Castiel lays the man on the ground. He isn’t breathing and Dean can’t find a pulse. He starts chest compressions; counting in his head. He gives the guy a breath and looks to see if the man is responding. Dean works on the guy trying to bring him back. It doesn’t make sense that there are no burns on the man’s body. But when Dean pulls back enough he sees blood coming from the man’s stomach. Dean takes off his shirt and holds it against the man; trying to stop the bleeding. The wound, however, must have gone clean through because Dean notices blood pooling underneath him. He must have been impaled by something in the car. Something deep inside tells him all his work is of no use, but he continues to try until the ambulance arrives.

The woman and children survive, but the guy is gone. For as long as Dean has worked as a paramedic this is the first time he has lost someone. The only time he has ever dealt with death on the job was when the people were already gone by the time the team arrived on scene. It breaks something inside him, but he can’t think about that right now. Dean talks to the police and goes over what happened when they arrived on scene. He gives his information to them so they can contact him if needed. Once they are able to, the four of them get back in the truck and head to Cole’s. Dean is silent, lost in his own mind.

He parks and gets out of the truck. Dean walks in the house and grabs a change of clothes out of his room. He takes a hot shower to get off the blood from the man he helped. Once he is dressed again, he walks to the kitchen, grabs a beer out of the fridge and downs it in a few gulps. He takes another then walks out to the back porch. Leaning up against the rails Dean takes a drink of his beer. The thoughts of what he could have done different creeps into his mind. Taking over everything else and fills him with a darkness that if he isn’t careful he could get lost in. There are so many ‘what ifs’ that it makes his head spin.   

* * *

 

Inside the house, everyone is gathered around the table. Castiel walks out of the bathroom fresh from his own shower and can hear talk of the accident. He leans against the counter in front of the window watching Dean outside. A side of him that has been dormant for years wakes up and starts clawing its way out. 

“I wonder how long Dean will beat himself up over this,” Aaralynn asks, pulling Castiel out of his own thoughts and back to the conversation.

Sam puts his arm around the back of her chair and sighs. “There’s no telling with him. As far as I know he has never had someone die on him.”

“He can’t blame himself for this,” Shayla says. “There was nothing he could do.”

“That’s true, but we all know Dean. It doesn’t matter what really happened.” Cole points out. “He will place all of it on his shoulders.”

“So how do we help him,” Shayla asks.

“I think I know a way,” Castiel replies for the first time. All eyes turn to Castiel as he pushes off the counter. “I have a background in psychology. I minored in it back in college.”

Sam smiles at the older man. “Is there anything you didn’t study?”

“No, not really,” Castiel replies with a smile. “I’m going to talk to Dean.” With that, he walks to the door, takes a deep breath and steps out.

* * *

 

Dean hears someone step out on the porch. From the weight of the footsteps, he knows it's Castiel. He doesn’t bother moving. Arms wrap around his waist and he closes his eyes. “I could have lost you today,” he says; voice breaking. He turns around and narrows his eyes at the other man. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

Castiel takes a step back, “I was trying to help.”

“No, what you were trying to do was get yourself killed. You have a death wish or something?” Dean takes a deep breath, trying to control his anger. He isn’t sure why he is even angry, all he knows is that the thought of almost losing Castiel because of the man’s own stupidity makes his blood boil. 

“Was I supposed to leave that man to die,” Castiel asks, standing up straighter. “I had to do something.”

The muscles in Dean’s jaw clench, “No. But to risk your life when you’re not medically trained is just reckless.”

“Medically trained or not I did what I thought was right. I helped unpin the man and then got him out of the car and away before it caught fire.” Castiel arches an eyebrow at the younger man.

“You’re fucking stubborn, you know that,” Dean asks as he turns his back on Castiel. “You can quit your Alpha posturing.”

He hears a deep, throaty chuckle come from the older man. He turns back around and crosses his arms over his chest. 

“What’s so funny?”

“I’ve just never heard it referenced as that,” Castiel answers. He sees the confusion on Dean’s face and he smiles. “You haven’t figured it out, yet?”

Dean tilts his head to the side much like Castiel does. “Figured out what exactly?”

Castiel sighs, walks closer to Dean and reaches for his hand. “We need to talk. But it’s not a conversation to get into where people can interrupt.”  

“Okay then let's take a walk,” Dean says; slipping his hand in Castiel’s and steps down the stairs. He leads them away from the house and out in the back forty where the land is more open. No one can hear or even see them from the house. 

“So what is it that you want to talk about?”

Castiel’s eyes flick from Dean’s to the ground. He shifts his weight from one leg to the other. This is never easy to explain. The subject is hardly ever taken seriously or for what it should be. It could be misconstrued and usually is. “I’ve been a part of a certain lifestyle for many years now. Although I haven’t been active in a few years,” he begins.

Dean smirks, “Are you a part of the mob Cas?”

A huge smile crosses Castiel’s face. “Uh, no, actually. Although, that would probably be easier than this.” He sighs and decides just to spit it out. Rip the band-aid off if you will. “Have you heard of a dominant-submissive relationship?”

“Are you talking about BDSM?” Dean chokes out.

Nodding his head, Castiel says, “Yes, in a way that’s exactly what I’m talking about. But with me, it’s more of the bondage, dominant, submissive part and none of the sadomasochism. I’m a dominant male.”

Dean licks his lips, “So like the 50 Shades of Grey crap?”

Castiel shakes his head, “God, no, nothing like that abomination. Those books and movie are a misguided woman’s fantasy of what the BDSM lifestyle is.”

“So you want that to play in our relationship? You want me to submit to you?” Dean asks.

The older man places his hand on Dean’s arm. “Not unless that is something you want to venture into. Like I said I haven’t been active for a few years now. I just wanted to be honest with you.”

Dean sighs, “I don’t know about that, Cas.”

“And that’s fine, Dean,” Castiel says, taking a step closer to the other man. “I want to try something, though.” He takes a black bandana out of his pocket.”

“Something kinky,” Dean asks, eyeing the cloth in Castiel’s hand. “Are you going to tie my hands behind my back?”

Castiel arches an eyebrow, “No, but if you keep that up I’ll gag you.” He chuckles when he hears Dean’s breathing hitch. 

“Actually, I wanted to try a trust exercise. It will take your mind off the earlier events. Plus, it will build trust, which is important in any type of relationship.”

Dean’s tongue darts out and wets his lips, “Okay, so how do we do this?”

“I’ll tie this over your eyes,” Castiel says, holding up the bandana. “Then I’ll start walking. Follow the sound of my voice for a while. At some point, I’ll quit talking and you just have to tap into your other senses and find your way to me.”

“So a really weird version of hide and seek,” Dean asks.

Castiel sighs, “Not really no. I won’t hide from you. I never have. You must trust that I won’t allow you to get hurt.” His hand reaches up and cups one side of Dean’s face. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“No, I’ll do it. I want to,” Dean replies. “I want to learn to trust you.”

Castiel leans forward and brushes his lips against Dean’s, pulling back, he smiles and says, “Turn around.” He quickly ties the bandana over Dean’s eyes once he is fully turned around. “Is that too tight?”

Dean shakes his head, “No, but I can’t see a fucking thing.”

The older man chuckles; turns Dean around and kisses him more deeply this time. “That’s the point, sweet boy,” he whispers against Dean’s lips. “Now I’ll give you a few minutes to get adjusted without having your vision.” A few minutes pass, Castiel takes Dean’s hand and starts walking with him. At first, Dean’s hesitant, but soon he adjusts and starts listening to everything around him. He can hear the light breeze and the animals in the distance. Castiel drops Dean’s hand and takes long strides to get ahead of Dean. Anytime Cas notices something on the ground that would make Dean trip Castiel calls out to warn him.

After about fifteen minutes, Castiel goes silent. Dean is still within earshot, but there are several hundred feet in between them. Castiel decides to lean against a tree to watch the man as he walks around the field. In his mind, he calls out to Dean telling him exactly where he is. Dean stops for a few seconds and listens to his surroundings. He doesn’t hear Castiel’s footsteps anymore, so he knows the man stopped somewhere. Dean opens his mind and he can picture the lay of the land in front of him. Carefully, he walks forward a few steps, but the direction of the breeze changes and he turns to his left. He takes ten steps and stops to listen again. He can hear a bird call out in the air above him and starts following the sound.

The closer he gets, the more he can feel Castiel drawing him in. Almost like the man’s soul is guiding him in the direction he needs to go. Dean sidesteps a tree stump in the ground just barely. Something inside him tells him to turn to the right, walk ten more paces and he will reach his man. So he trusts his instincts and does exactly that. When Dean gets closer to Castiel he smiles and stops right in Castiel's personal space. The older man grabs Dean by the hips and pulls him flush against his own body. He doesn’t take the blindfold off, but leans forward and whispers in Dean’s ear. “You’re so good for me. So perfect.” Castiel kisses down Dean’s neck, then back up and along his jaw.

Dean lets out a low moan. All his attention is focused on the man’s lips against his skin. He’s never felt anything quite like this. Almost like he is hyper aware of every breath the man takes and every sigh the man makes. Castiel runs his tongue over Dean’s lips and without thought Dean opens for him. Their tongues glide over each others slowly. The air is filled with their moans as they explore each other’s mouths. Mapping out and committing everything to memory. Castiel breaks the kiss and pulls back, “How are you feeling Dean?” He reaches back and unties the bandana allowing Dean to see again.

“I feel… great… awesome,” Dean answers as his eyes adjust to the light. “How did you do that?”

Castiel tilts his head to the side, “How did I do what?”

Dean chews on his bottom lips for a minute. “This is going to sound weird, but it’s like I felt you guiding me.”

“That’s not weird Dean,” Castiel replies then gives the younger man a chaste kiss on the lips. “It sounds like we have a strong bond. Possibly a profound bond.”

“Maybe,” Dean says as he slips his hand in Castiel’s. They start walking back in the direction of the house. “We should get back before they send out a search party.” They fall silent just walking hand in hand listening to the breeze and the animals. Nothing needs to be said. When they reach the house Dean pulls Castiel against him. He touches Castiel’s forehead with his and breathes in the older man’s air. “Thank you Cas,” Dean says just barely above a whisper.

Castiel grins, “For what, my sweet boy?”

“Taking my mind off everything,” he answers.

The older man wraps his arms around Dean’s waist. “Thank you for trusting me and your own instincts.”

Dean brushes his lips against Castiel’s then says, “Cas, I think I’m…”

“Come on boys get ready. It’s time to go dancing,” Cole calls out from the porch.

Dean pulls back and glares in Cole’s direction. “Yeah, yeah asshole, we’ll be right there.” He watches Cole walk back in the house and lets out a sigh.

“What were you going to say, Dean,” Castiel asks.

The younger man runs his fingers through Castiel’s hair. “Nothing, babe, just thank you for everything.”

Castiel nods and lets his hands drop down. His eyes flick over Dean’s face. The man is truly breathtaking and he isn’t even aware of how Castiel sees him. “You’re welcome.” He takes Dean’s hand and starts pulling him up the porch steps. Castiel has a good idea of what Dean was going to say. But right now he decides to let it go. He knows what his answer would have been. The oldest Winchester has managed to steal his heart and Castiel doesn’t want it back. He knows his heart was made for Dean and that is where it will stay. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts????
> 
> I apologize this took awhile to finish. My muse broke out of the handcuffs the bitch. I think she is part demon. I may have to paint a devil's trap on the floor.
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the break from this. I had DallasCon and seeing those beautiful men in person melted my brain for awhile. Then I wanted to make sure Checkmate got an update.  
> *Throws chapter at you and runs off laughing* Enjoy!!
> 
> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.

Dean dresses quickly in his nicest pair of jeans and a hunter green button down. He slips his feet into the boots he brought with him, knowing they are going to a country bar and he doesn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb. In the bathroom, he puts gel in his hands and runs his fingers through his hair. He thinks about shaving but decides there is nothing wrong with a little stubble, so he walks out into the living room where everyone is waiting on him. His eyes land on Castiel, who is standing near the door dressed in all black with his Stetson in place. Fuck that man looks good in black. Without taking his eyes off Castiel, he says, “Let’s get this show on the road.”

* * *

 

They pull up in front of Tristian’s Watering Hole, and the music can be heard as soon as they step out of the vehicle. Dean stands there for a few minutes looking the place over. He’s been here before, way back when he was a teen and underage. Oh, those were the days. The owner’s daughter was always sneaking him and Cole in the back and getting them free drinks. She was his first taste of being with an older woman; the memory makes Dean smile.

“Dean,” Castiel says, pulling the younger man out of his reverie. “Are you okay?”

Cole chuckles, “He’s fine. This place holds a lot of memories for him.”

Dean glares at his friend and slips his hand in Castiel’s, “Let’s go inside, shall we?”

Inside, the music is in full swing and there are several people out on the dance floor. The place is decorated ruggedly with cowboy hats and horseshoes on the walls. The hardwood dance floor has a wood ‘fence’ surrounding most of it, with different color lights reflecting off the surface. Stairs lead up to the tables, and hay from real hay bales is strewn around in various areas in the place, even on the carpet. In the back right corner is the mechanical bull, and Dean prays Cole doesn’t suggest he try it out. No way, not while Castiel is here. The men make their way to the bar, each ordering a long neck and water for Shayla. The girls sit down at a table, watching the dancers make their way around the floor. When the men join them, Cole leads his wife out to dance. Lynn stands up and grabs Dean’s hand, “Come on sweet cheeks, show me your moves.”

Dean glances over to his brother and Castiel, who both just smile and nod in response. The elder Winchester leads Lynn out on the dance floor. He takes her left hand in his, places his other hand under her shoulder blade to leave enough room between them, and starts leading her into a dance.

_I worked all week._

_Heading down south to the land of the pines_

_I'm thumbing my way into North Caroline_

_Staring up the road and pray to God I see headlights_

_I made it down the coast in seventeen hours_

_Picking me a bouquet of dogwood flowers_

_And I'm a-hopin' for Raleigh, I can see my baby tonight_

“I didn’t know you could dance,” she giggles as Dean spins them around a few times.

He smiles, pulling her closer, “I know my way around a dance floor. I just usually don’t let people know.” Dean swings her out into a big spin and then brings her back in. “How are you and Sam doing?”

She gives him a smile, “Good, we’re doing real good. Talking about moving in together in the next few months.”

“That’s awesome, Lynn. I’m happy you two found each other.”

“Speaking of boyfriends,” Lynn says, looking him in the eyes. “So, are you and Castiel a couple, like boyfriends?”

_So rock me momma like a wagon wheel_

_Rock me momma any way you feel_

_Hey, momma rock me_

_Rock me momma like the wind and the rain_

_Rock me momma like a south bound train_

_Hey, momma rock me_

He looks toward their table and watches Castiel throw his head back in laughter. “I - uh – actually, I don’t know,” he answers.

Lynn pulls him off the dance floor after the song ends, but stops Dean from walking back to their group. “Look, you better put that boy on lockdown. I don’t want to rush or push you, but he’s been getting looks since we walked in, from both men and women, Dean. I haven’t seen you this happy, in a long time; don’t fuck this up.”

Dean doesn’t answer her, just nods and heads back to their table. He slips into the chair beside Castiel and takes a long pull of his beer. Scanning the people around them, Dean notices that Lynn wasn’t exaggerating when she said Castiel was drawing a lot of attention, but apparently, the older man doesn’t notice because he can’t keep his eyes off Dean. Castiel leans in and kisses Dean softly, “So, cowboy, wanna dance?”

Dean smiles, “Of course, Angel, but I lead.” He takes the older man’s hand and leads him out on the floor. They step on the hardwood surface just as the song switches to a slower one. Dean almost laughs as the intro to the next song comes through the speakers. He puts his arms around Castiel’s waist and pulls the man closer. When the older man’s arms are in place around his neck, Dean leans forward next to Castiel’s ear and starts singing along with the music, switching the lyrics to fit them.

_There's a want and there's a need_

_There's a history between_

_Boys like him and guys like me_

_Cowboys and angels_

_I've got boots and he's got wings_

_I'm hell on wheels and he's heavenly_

_I'd die for him and he lives for me_

_Cowboys and angels_

They sway their hips and move their feet in time to the beat in a simple two-step, and the younger man is surprised how quickly Castiel follows his movements. Dean puts feeling into the chorus.

_We ride side by side_

_A cloud of dust, a ray of light_

_My touch is his temptation_

_His kiss is my salvation_

_He's sweet, I'm wild, we're dangerous_

_Cowboys and angels_

Dean pulls back and looks Castiel in the eyes as he sings the next lines.

“Not sure why his path crossed mine, accident or grand design, ah maybe God just kinda likes Cowboys and angels.”

Castiel give Dean a chaste kiss as they continue to dance, and then he lays his head on Dean’s shoulder, the younger man’s warm breath only inches from his ear. Castiel smiles because he has never felt this way before, like his heart is going to spontaneously burst from the amount of joy within it.

_We ride side by side_

_A cloud of dust, a ray of light_

_My touch is his temptation_

_His kiss is my salvation_

_He's sweet, I'm wild, we're dangerous_

_Cowboys and angels_

As the end of the song draws near, Dean tightens his arms around the older man and moves them around in a spin.

_There's a want and there's a need_

_There's a history between_

_Boys like you and guys like me_

_Cowboys and angels_

“Cowboys and angels,” Dean finishes the last line and then both men walk off the floor and up the stairs. Before they reach the table, Dean stops the older man. “Cas,” he starts and his eyes flick to the floor.

Castiel pulls Dean’s face so their eyes meet. “Talk to me.”

Dean pushes a breath out, “So, I know we haven’t really known each other that long, and this... whatever this is, has only been a few days.” He runs a hand through his hair, “When I said I can’t do casual sex with you, I meant it.”

The older man smiles, “Are you asking me to go steady, Dean?”

“Smartass,” Dean says with a smile. “But yes, if you want to word it that way, that’s exactly what I’m asking.”

Castiel tilts his head for a minute and then eyes the mechanical bull. He points to the corner where it sits, “If you can stay on for eight seconds, I’m all yours, label and all.”

Dean arches his eyebrow, “Seriously, Cas?”

The older man nods, “Deadly.”

“Okay,” he says, “you sit down and I’ll be back.” Dean chuckles as he walks to the bar to get it set up. He knows Castiel has no idea he used to ride in the local rodeos and almost went to the professional circuit. He talks to the bartender, Brenson, a guy that Dean knew when he was younger. The man places a cowboy hat on Dean’s head, and after bullshitting about the ‘good ole days’, Dean walks into the ring with the fake bull.

“Okay, guests; turn your attention to the bull ring. We have Dean Winchester in the house tonight. If you don’t know who he is, where the hell have you been? He was a legend in the local circuit.” The announcer begins.

Dean watches his friends and other people gather round as he hops up and slips his hand under the bar; holding on tight.

Castiel looks at Sam, “You never told me that Dean could ride a bull.”

Sam shrugs, “It never came up.”

Cole laughs and pats Castiel on the shoulder, “What did you bet?”

The announcer speaks again before the older man can answer, “Dean tells us he isn’t riding for the free beer tonight, he’s riding for the hand of a very special someone. We’re not taking it easy on your either, Winchester,” he says with a wink, “so when you’re ready, just nod.”

Dean searches the crowd for deep blue eyes; when he finds Castiel, he smirks and then winks at the man. He adjusts his hand one more time, raises his other arm in the air, closes his eyes, and nods. Music fills the room and people yell out encouragement. Normally they start the novices off slow, but Dean isn’t a beginner, and the guys at the bar weren’t kidding when they said they wouldn’t take it easy. The mechanical animal starts bucking like a real bull. Dean rocks his body with the movement, trying to keep his balance. He manages to hang on for nine seconds before being thrown and landing on the mat. The crowd cheers when Dean stands up and flashes them a smile, holding his arms above his head in celebration. His adrenaline is pumping and he’s out of breath. Dean grabs the hat on his head and tosses it out to the sea of people.

Brensen walks up to him and gives him a hug, then speaks into the microphone in his hand. “Where is this Castiel you were talking my ear off about?”

Dean looks out and finds Castiel standing next to Sam. He waves at the man and watches as Castiel weaves his way through the crowd to the ring. Brensen shakes Castiel’s hand and then says, “So, Dean here managed to hang on for nine seconds. Did he win your hand?”

Castiel slips his hand in Dean’s and says, “Hell yes he did, but I think I’m the one who won the prize.” The older man grabs Dean’s face and kisses him soundly in front of everyone. The crowd erupts in whistles and catcalls when Dean takes advantage of the moment and dips Castiel, deepening the kiss. 

When they finally come up for air, the younger man smiles at Castiel and they walk hand in hand over to the bar. Dean introduces his boyfriend, wow that sounds really fucking good to say, to everyone behind the bar. A familiar brunette saunters up to Dean and smiles. “Damn, after all these years you have only managed to get prettier.”

Dean gives her a soft smile and then introduces her. “Pamela, this is Castiel, my boyfriend. Cas, this is Pamela, she’s the owner’s daughter.”

Pamela holds her hand out for Castiel to take, shaking it and flicks her eyes back to Dean. “Big Daddy will want to see you before you take off. Don’t make him wait, you hear?” She turns around and sashays off to the back.

Dean turns his attention back to his boyfriend, who is looking at him with an amused look on his face. “What?”

The older man huffs a laugh. “She looked at you like you’re dessert.”

“That’s Pam for you.” A grin creeps across his face, “You jealous, Cas?”

Castiel shakes his head, “Not at all. It’s a compliment really because I know I will be the only one who will taste you anytime soon.”

Dean opens his mouth to make a witty comeback, but nothing comes out. So instead, he leans forward, kisses his boyfriend, and prays to everything holy that the tightness in his jeans goes unnoticed. The younger man pulls back and takes Castiel’s hand, leading him to the back of the bar. Inside a large office, Pamela’s father, Sterling Barnes, sits behind his desk in a leather chair.

Dean introduces him to Castiel, and Sterling doesn’t even bat an eye at when the word ‘boyfriend’ comes out of Dean’s mouth. He just smiles and nods to Castiel. They make small talk, mostly about what Dean has been up to since the last time the older gentleman had seen him. Sterling tells Dean he needs to make an effort to come around more often. Pamela apparently has never married and doesn’t plan on it anytime soon, and at the mention, his daughter glares at him in response. Dean promises the older man he will keep in touch, and then Sterling stands up and pulls him into a hug.

Dean and Castiel make their way back to the table and sit down with Cole and Shayla. Dean looks over his shoulder and sees Sam and Lynn dancing. The height difference is amusing, but Dean knows they are having the time of their lives. Overall, it’s a damn good night. Dean’s face actually hurts from smiling so much. He’s glad he let Shayla talk him into this.

* * *

They leave the bar earlier than normal and travel back to Cole’s. After saying their goodnights, Dean and Castiel take turns brushing their teeth and then head back to their room. Dean quickly strips down to just his boxers and climbs in bed next to his boyfriend. He flips on his stomach and stretches his body. Damn, he is getting too old for this shit.

Castiel turns on his side, facing Dean. “Did you have fun tonight?”

Smiling, the younger man answers, “Yeah, but I’m sore, and it will probably be worse in the morning.”

“How about a nice massage,” Castiel asks, and before Dean can answer, he is off the bed rummaging around in his duffel bag. He comes back with lotion and straddles Dean, sitting far back enough that his crotch is resting on the younger man’s ass.

When Dean feels the slick, warm hands of Castiel on his back, he lets out a soft moan. His boyfriend starts massaging his lower back, kneading the sore muscles there. “It was nice meeting some of the people you knew when you were younger.”

Dean’s closes his eyes, “Yeah, it’s been too long since I seen them all in one place.”

Castiel’s hands move up inch by inch, working the muscles that are in knots, “You’re tense, Dean. You need to relax.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” the younger man replies. His boyfriend swats his ass, causing Dean to huff out a laugh.

“You never told me you rode in the circuit. Do you miss it?” the older man asks as he works his hands a little higher.

Dean feels his body relaxing, his muscles turning into goo. He turns his head, resting his right cheek on the mattress. “Not really, it was fun while it lasted. I met most of the people at the bar tonight while riding.”

Castiel hums and his hands start putting pressure where a particularly big knot is. “Is that where you met Pamela?”

“So you  _were_  jealous,” Dean says, smugness in his tone.

“I most certainly was not.”

Dean’s eyes open and he looks over his shoulder at Castiel. “You most certainly were too.”

“Okay, maybe just a bit.”

“A bit, babe,” Dean replies, “you glared at her so hard, at one point I thought you were going to smite her.”

His boyfriend sighs, “Not my fault she wouldn’t keep her hands off you.” He moves up and repositions himself, sitting farther up on Dean’s body and starts working his shoulders. “And your jokes were not that funny.”

“They were too,” Dean argues back. “You have nothing to worry about, babe, I’m all yours.”

Castiel starts dropping feather light kisses on the younger man’s neck and shoulders. “Mine,” he says in between the kisses, “all mine.”

Dean chuckles, “yes babe, always,” he says and moves just enough to let Castiel know he wants to turn over. When he does, the older man straddles him again, continuing to assault him with kisses. Dean is definitely on board with this and pulls his boyfriend up to face him. Their lips brush together and Dean moves Castiel off him to lay side by side, fingers brushing lightly against each other’s skin, leaving goose bumps in their wake. Dean parts his lips when Castiel’s tongue runs across them, allowing the man entrance. He moans softly and deepens the kiss.  Their tongues move over each other in a slow, almost lazy effort, but still, hold so much passion that it makes Dean’s head spin. 

The older man breaks the kiss, and they both lay there in the dark. Castiel turns on his side and Dean scoots up behind him, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend. Their hands intertwine and soon sleep is pulling them both under, just the sound of their breathing filling the air around them. Before Dean drifts off to sleep, he kisses the back of Castiel’s neck. It’s a peaceful way to end a perfect day. He’s not sure what will happen when they get back to Dallas in a few days, but he isn’t worried about it anymore. As long as he has this, Castiel lying in bed beside him, it’s all that matters. And sure, it may be too soon, but Dean can’t deny that he’s already starting to fall for the man lying beside him. Sometimes, when a person walks into your life and turns it upside down for the better, you just know there is no way you’ll make it if they were to walk away. Dean never believed in love at first sight, but this is the closest thing to it that he has ever experienced. He’s okay with the realization that his walls are coming down. Hell, that he never even had walls when it came to Castiel. There is one thing he is sure about; he is ready for the wild ride that will be his life with Castiel. He sighs, kissing the back of the older man’s neck and as he falls asleep with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Feedback... need feedback :D
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.
> 
> A date and some much needed alone time for the boys.... grab a cigarette and a fan....you've been warned....  
> *Throws chapter at you and runs off laughing* Enjoy!!

It’s been a little over a month and a half since they left Cole’s and everything has pretty much fallen in place. The break from work was just what the doctor ordered, and Dean is back in the swing of things. Even though Castiel and Dean are now an item, not much has changed. They’ve been on a few dates here and there on Dean’s days off, nothing big really, just going to the movies or a picnic in the park. Sometimes they just curl up on the couch together and watch movies when Sam is out. It’s October now and the weather is cool, which is a nice change from the sweltering heat.

Dean walks into his apartment after his shift; Sam and Castiel are at the kitchen table where several pamphlets lie open in front of them. The elder Winchester moves over behind his boyfriend and kisses the back of his neck. “What are y’all looking at?"

His brother doesn’t look up, “Planning our camping trip.”

Dean moves his fingers through Castiel’s hair, “I thought you already had that planned.”

“I did,” Sam says, lifting his eyes up from the table. “I checked out the campgrounds about a week ago and wasn’t impressed.” He looks back down, picks up a pamphlet, and hands it to Dean.

“When did camping become so hard? A tent and the open sky is all I need.” His eyes scan over the paper in his hand then tosses it back on the table, “Whatever you decide will be fine.” Dean wraps his arms around Castiel and kisses him on the cheek. “I’m going to lie down; don’t forget about our date tonight.”

“I’ll be ready,” the older man replies. “Where are we going anyway?”

“It’s a surprise,” he answers, “just wear something nice.”

Castiel moves his head just enough to capture Dean’s lips in a chaste kiss. “Get some rest.”

The elder Winchester pulls back from his boyfriend and nods. He walks to his room and strips down. Pulling the blanket back, he lies down and pulls the sheet up to his chest. Dean moves around trying to get comfortable enough to sleep for a while. So maybe a few things have changed.

“Cas,” he calls out. He doesn’t miss his brother’s laughter from the kitchen. Apparently, the younger Winchester finds it funny anytime Dean can’t sleep without Castiel by his side. “Bitch,” he yells out.

“Jerk,” his brother hollers in response. 

When he feels the bed move from Castiel’s weight, Dean automatically scoots closer to his boyfriend, resting his head on the man’s chest. “Shirt off,” Dean says and moves back so Castiel can take it off. They settle back in place, the younger man sighing when Castiel starts drawing patterns on Dean’s skin with the tips of his fingers. This has become Dean’s favorite place to be, curled up against his boyfriend’s chest, listening to the older man’s heartbeat. It may be sappy, but he really doesn’t care.

* * *

 

Dean wakes up later that evening to an empty bed, which isn’t unusual. Most of the time Castiel will just lay with him long enough for him to drift off into a deep sleep, and then return to whatever he was doing before Dean got home.

Their reservation is in two hours, which gives Dean enough time to shower and shave. Pushing off the bed, he pulls on a pair of sweatpants and then walks into the hallway. Sam and Castiel are on the couch watching T.V. From the sound of it, they’re watching a documentary on the History Channel. In the bathroom, Dean strips, turns on the water, and steps inside the shower. The warm water beats down on his body, relaxing his tired muscles. He makes quick work of washing his body and hair, then steps out and grabs a towel. Draping it around his waist, he grabs his shaving kit and lathers up his face.

Castiel walks into the bathroom and takes Dean’s razor from him. The older man hops up on the sink and starts shaving Dean’s face.

“I know how to shave,” Dean says as he moves closer, standing in between Castiel’s legs.

His boyfriend smiles, “I know you do, but I wanted to do it for you.”

The younger man watches Castiel’s face as the man continues the task. The blue eyes stay focused to make sure he doesn’t cut him. Once he’s finished, he hands Dean a towel and slides off the sink. 

“Thanks, babe,” Dean says then leans down a little and kisses the man’s forehead. “You’re going to spoil me.”

The man smiles, “You’re already spoiled and you deserve it,” Castiel replies and then starts stripping. “Get dressed, gorgeous.”

“What if I want to help you in the shower?” the younger man asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

Castiel doesn’t reply, just arches an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

“Okay, okay, I’m going,” Dean says as he backs out of the bathroom with a smile on his face.

Back in his room, Dean grabs a pair of boxer briefs and steps into them. He walks to his closet, trying to decide on what to wear. Normally jeans and a t-shirt are his usual attire, but tonight that won’t do. He pulls on a charcoal gray button-down and black dress pants. He threads a belt through the belt loops, then grabs his dress shoes. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he pulls on black dress socks, then his shoes. He just finishes tying them when Castiel walks in the room.

Dean watches his boyfriend dress with rapt attention as the man goes about getting dressed. He isn’t able to pull his eyes away from the man’s muscles rippling in his back from the simple movement of pulling on a shirt. “Normally I think someone getting undressed is sexy, but damn babe, you’re sexy getting dressed.”

Castiel huffs a laugh, “I’ve never heard that before.”

The younger man stands up and places a kiss on his thumb, then presses it to Castiel’s lips. “I’m going to finish getting ready; I’ll meet you in the car.” Dean walks out into the hall and steps into the bathroom. He puts gel in his hand then runs his fingers through his hair, then dabs on a bit of cologne. He steps back and has to smile at his reflection.

He walks into the living room and smiles at his brother.

Sam looks up from the T.V. and Dean opens his arms, “Well, how do I look?”

The younger Winchester laughs, “you look great, Dean. I’ll probably be at Aaralynn’s by the time you get back tonight, so y’all have fun.”

* * *

 

Dean pulls up in front of the restaurant entrance and puts the car in park. An older gentleman walks around as Dean steps out. “Take it easy with my baby,” he says to the valet, and then makes his way around to open his boyfriend’s door.

They walk up to an elevator and Castiel turns to look at him, “Where are we?”

“Dakota’s Steakhouse,” Dean answers simply.

“Okay, where is the restaurant?”

The younger man smiles and flicks his eyes to the pavement below, “Underground.” He takes Castiel’s hand in his and steps inside the canopied glass elevator.

The restaurant property was once the site of a church and the owners put a legally binding clause in the deed keeping future owners from selling alcohol on the former church grounds. The new owners found a way around that by building eighteen feet below street grade. There is an eighteen-thousand square-foot subterranean courtyard with a five-tiered granite water wall, multi-tiered landscaping, lava-rock fire pit, and black granite bar.

As they step off the elevator, they are greeted by a hostess who smiles and asks for the name on the reservation. “Wonderful! We’ve been waiting for you, Mr. Winchester. The wine you ordered is already chilled on ice at the table you requested,” she says as she leads them to their seats. “Your server will be by shortly; enjoy your evening.”

After they are seated, Castiel picks up his menu, his eye scanning it, “This place is amazing, Dean.”

The younger man looks up from his menu and smiles, “Yeah, I’ve wanted to come here for a while now, but I’ve never had someone special enough to go with.”

His boyfriend smiles, “So I’m special enough?”

Dean nods, “Of course you are,” his eyes dancing with sincerity.

A beautiful woman with long, dark brown hair and brown eyes walks up to their table. “Good evening, Mr. Winchester, Mr. Novak. I’m Lisa; I’ll be your server tonight. Are you ready to order?”

They both order a Kansas City Strip steak, medium well. Castiel gets a side salad and Dean opts for a baked potato. Lisa smiles as she jots it down, and then hurries off to put in their request. The younger man pops the cork on the wine, and then pours them both a glass. The conversation while they wait is light. Castiel asks how work has been for Dean, and the younger man happily supplies his boyfriend with a few funny stories. His team at work is the best he could ask for. Even with the seriousness of their job, the crew always finds different ways to keep the mood light.

“Speaking of work,” Castiel starts, “I will need to fly out to Nevada again in a couple of days. There were some additional finds that I need to catalog. Ezekiel was named as the lead on this particular project, but his wife went into early labor so they asked if I could take over.”

Dean’s face falls because even though he knows his boyfriend loves his job, he has gotten used to having him around after work. “How long are we talking about?”

The older man shrugs, “You know that is hard to say. It could be anywhere from a couple of days to a month, depending on if anything else is found while I’m out there.”

Lisa returns to their table with food and she sets the plates in front of them, telling them to enjoy their dinner.

“Lisa,” Castiel says before the woman is able to walk away. “We didn’t order this,” he gestures to the food sitting in front of them.

The woman furrows her eyebrows, “Are you sure?”

“We both order the strip steak,” Dean comments.

The older man smiles, “This is tilapia and filet mignon.”

The woman looks at the ticket in her hand and realizes her mistake. “I apologize,” she says hurriedly. “I’ll just take this and your food will be out shortly.”

With that, Lisa sits the plates back on the tray and walks off. Dean’s eyes follow her four tables away. As soon as she delivers the food to the correct table and walks away, his eyes lock with the man sitting at the table.  _Fuck_ , he thinks to himself. None other than Jimmy Novak is sitting at that particular table. He can only assume the man with his back to their table is Michael.

Dean tears his eyes away and focuses back on his boyfriend. Thankfully, Castiel’s back is to Jimmy’s table so he isn’t aware that his brother is in the same restaurant as them. He mentally sends thanks up to anyone listening; the last thing he needs is a scene in a public place. It wouldn’t be pretty and he would like to avoid that at all costs. Dean has an excuse to leave on the tip of his tongue when Lisa returns with their order. He allows the words to die, takes a deep breath, and decides to enjoy this night with his boyfriend.

* * *

 

They dig in, keeping the conversation flowing in between bites. It should be a perfect, pleasant night for them, but the feeling of eyes boring into him from Jimmy’s table almost ruins it for him. A few times, he looks over just to shoot a quick look at the man that clearly says, ‘back the fuck off’ when Castiel is not looking. If his boyfriend notices that his attention isn’t fully on him, the man doesn’t say anything. They polish off their dinner and Dean is about to ask if Castiel would like dessert when he notices movement from his ex’s table. He flicks his eyes in the direction of Jimmy. Michael is standing part way up, eyes on Dean, and is clearly about to walk over until Jimmy reaches out and grabs his arm. He can see Jimmy’s mouth moving, and finally, the dark-haired man sits down.

“…Dean?”

The younger man’s eyes flick back to his boyfriend, “Yeah, babe?”

“How about we get out of here and go home for dessert?”

Dean nods, smiling at Castiel, “Sounds good to me.”

* * *

 

The minute they walk into the apartment, Dean is on Castiel. He grabs his boyfriend’s shirt, pulling the older man back to their room. As soon as the door closes behind his boyfriend, Dean shoves him up against it. His lips crash against Castiel’s, his tongue desperately running over the other man’s. His teeth clamp down, tugging at the older man’s bottom lip while his hands quickly unbutton the shirt keeping him from skin on skin contact. Once the material is thrown on the floor, Dean steps back and strips his own shirt off. “Cas…” he says softly as his lips return to Castiel’s once more. “Need you…”

Castiel breaks the kiss, panting against the younger man’s lips. “As much as I want that, I think we need to slow down.”

“Cas,” Dean sighs the name, “no more waiting.” His hands trail down the soft skin of his boyfriend, moving over each bump of ribs. “I need you,” he says as he presses hot kisses against Castiel’s neck. The truth in those words makes Dean shiver a little. He hasn’t needed anyone in his life, yet right now he needs Castiel. He needs to feel the stretch and burn he hasn’t felt since he was eighteen. It makes his skin hum and every touch of Castiel’s skin on his is electric. It’s too much but not enough at the same time. “I need you inside me, Cas…” he whispers against the man’s ear, “…please.”

Those words seem to break the resolve his boyfriend held because the next thing Dean knows is that Castiel is walking him backward to the bed. The remaining clothes both men have on are basically ripped from each other’s bodies. The smell of his boyfriend’s skin burns into his memory as he nuzzles his face in the crook of the man’s neck. Castiel’s teeth drag down Dean’s hot skin, making him moan with the sensation. The older man lightly pushes Dean back, knees hitting the edge of the bed, and he holds onto Castiel as he falls against the mattress. When his boyfriend’s mouth latches onto his nipple, Dean arches his back in response as a litany of curses fall from his lips. The air around them is thick, hot, and perfect. He vaguely hears Castiel fumble around in the nightstand drawer, and his mind stutters with the knowledge of what is coming next. A pop from the bottle of lube echoes in Dean’s ears. He tries to steady his breathing and relax.

His boyfriend’s mouth returns to Dean’s skin at the same time he feels Castiel’s finger brush against his entrance, the cold liquid making Goosebumps break out and race down his body. He’s half out of his mind with want, but still knows to steady himself for the first burn.

“Breathe,” Castiel whispers against his chest as he trails his tongue across to Dean’s neglected nipple.

Dean obeys without question, inhaling deep and releasing it slowly as his boyfriend breaches the tight ring of muscle up to the first knuckle. His hands grab the sheets as he hisses his discomfort out. Dean hears shushing noises breathed over his skin as the man waits for his body to relax.

“So good,” his boyfriend says, “again.”

The younger man automatically knows Castiel is telling him to breathe again. As he exhales, he feels the push of his boyfriend’s finger inside him again. His mind swims in the sensation of slight pain and hot, wet kisses on his body as the older man moves his mouth lower. The rhythm his boyfriend sets at first is slow thrusts, waiting until Dean’s body can adjust. His boyfriend hooks his finger and hits the bundle of nerves inside Dean, making sparks ignite throughout him. The younger man lets out a cross between a moan and a strangled cry. He feels Castiel take his dripping cock in his mouth, and he’s lost to everything else. Dean is only vaguely aware of another finger added, and his body immediately responds, thrusting down, urging them deeper inside him. By the third finger, he’s practically begging Castiel to take him.

When his boyfriend removes his fingers, Dean whimpers at the loss. The sound of foil ripping rings loud in the room, and the younger man spreads his legs more in invitation. When he feels the pressure of Castiel pressing inside him, tears actually form at his eyes. It’s too much, too fucking much, but perfect, and he groans. His boyfriend takes his time and makes sure there is no discomfort shown on Dean’s face or in his breathing. He knows Castiel is taking his time, allowing his body to adjust and when he relaxes more, Dean nods. The younger man wraps his legs around Castiel as much as he can, and his head falls back at the feeling of being full when his boyfriend bottoms out.

The delicious, slow pace of Castiel’s thrusts, their hot breath mingling when the older man places his forehead against Dean’s stirs something deep inside him. This isn’t fucking, what he craved when he first walked through the bedroom door. This is making love, something Dean has never done, not even with Carmen. It scratches an itch the younger man wasn’t even aware he had. He lets his legs fall onto the bed and he starts moving his hips up, meeting every thrust of his boyfriend. Their hands intertwine, their eyes meet, and they synchronize their movements. Dean hears Castiel whisper praises in the darkness and it takes him higher. He doesn’t know where he ends and Castiel begins anymore, they are one at this moment.  

Dean feels the heat as it coils in his stomach, and he knows he isn’t going to last much longer. With every thrust against his prostate and the friction of Castiel’s body against his erection bringing him nearer to the edge, he wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s shoulders, bringing them impossibly closer, and their lips meet. Castiel dominates the kiss with every slide of his tongue, bringing a deep need inside Dean to light. “…Come for me, Dean,” Castiel says when he breaks the kiss, and it sends him over the edge, tumbling in the darkness of his release. He hears his boyfriend saying, “So good, Dean, so good for me,” almost like a prayer as the man’s hips stutter, and a strangled cry falls from the older man’s lips when he comes.

Warmth pulls Dean under, and the next thing he is aware of is his boyfriend cleaning him up with a warm washcloth. He moves slowly up the bed and slips under the blankets. The bed moves under the weight of Castiel sliding in beside him, and Dean automatically moves closer, laying his head on his boyfriend’s chest. Placing his ear over the older man’s heart, the sound of it beating combined with the whispered praises coming from his boyfriend lulls him into a deep sleep.    

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thoughts?
> 
> HUGE thank you to my editor Shawnie, even though she's sick and so is one of her sons, she edited this so I could post this. You're amazing woman!!
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> Any errors that you notice I will get them fixed.
> 
> I'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to get this chapter up. Real life got in the way.

 

Morning light filters in through the windows, pulling Castiel out of his dream world, and he throws his arm over his face. He can hear music and the soft humming of Dean singing along drift through the apartment. Memories from last night come back, making the man smile. If someone had told Castiel he would be in a happy, healthy relationship a couple of years ago, he wouldn’t have believed them. Sure, it’s only been a little over a month and everything is still new, but he knows Dean is it for him. Never has he felt so comfortable with someone that he could just be himself.

The dreams started his first night in Nevada. Just simple dreams, really, of the domestic life he craved. They all starred Dean, their home, and the kids they would have. It was so amazingly surreal that Castiel had a hard time separating them from reality while he was away. He would always wake up reaching out for Dean in bed, which, of course, was empty. Now, though, those dreams were finally coming true.

The smell of coffee wafting through the air finally pulls him out of bed, and he slips on a pair of sweatpants. He pads out to the bathroom to brush his teeth, and then walks into the living room, his eyes landing on Dean. The younger man’s back is to him, standing at the stove, singing and dancing along to the stereo.

_My heart beats like a drum_

_Flesh to flesh, one to one_

_And I'll never let go cause_

_There's something I know deep inside_

_You were born to be my baby_

_And baby, I was made to be your man_

_We got something to believe in_

_Even if we don't know where we stand_

_Only God would know the reasons_

_But I bet he must have had a plan_

_Cause you were born to be my baby_

_And baby, I was made to be your man_

Castiel walks up behind Dean and wraps his arms around his waist, chin resting on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Have I told you how much I enjoy listening to you sing?”

Dean huffs a laugh and turns his head enough to kiss his boyfriend, “You might have mentioned it once or twice. Morning, babe,” he says as he twists around in the older man’s arms. “Did you sleep well?” He wraps his arms around Castiel’s shoulders, pulling him closer.

Castiel nods, “I did indeed.” He brushes his lips over his boyfriend’s, “How about you?”

“I passed smooth out. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so rested.” He enjoys one more kiss, and then Dean turns back around to finish cooking their breakfast.

* * *

 

Later that day Castiel and Dean are curled up on the couch under a blanket. A lazy day in with Netflix is just the perfect way for them to relax and spend time together. The older man’s back is against the armrest, his legs stretched out, Dean sitting in between them with his head on Castiel’s chest. They are halfway through the third episode of some God-awful doctor show Dean loves. The older man tries to pay attention to it, but he keeps losing interest. His hands find their way to Dean’s hair, scratching the younger man’s scalp, hearing the soft sighs that fall from his boyfriend’s lips making him smile. Everything about this man is perfection personified; his beauty is one thing, but Castiel is attracted to his personality.

Dean sighs and adjusts his head enough so his ear is over Castiel’s heart, smiling to himself. It’s apparently his boyfriend’s favorite way to lay, not that he would complain one bit.

Castiel turns his attention back to the show. The main characters are in a restaurant, and their server gets their orders wrong. The older man kisses Dean on top of the head. “That’s always funnier when it happens on TV.”

His boyfriend hums, “What’s that?”

“Our waitress last night, she got our order wrong,” he answers.

The older man feels his boyfriend’s body tense. “Oh, yeah it is,” Dean says, letting out a small nervous chuckle.

Castiel flicks his eyes down to Dean, “It was a good night, though, right?”

The younger man sits up, “Um, yeah it was.” He looks over his shoulder and gives his boyfriend a small smile.

The older man tilts his head, “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

Dean stands up, “Yeah, of course, I am. I’m great.” He flashes another smile at the older man and walks to the bathroom.

Castiel sits there dumbfounded for a moment, not knowing what just changed with his boyfriend. A ping sounds from the table, and he picks up Dean’s phone without thinking about it. A message pops up on the screen from his brother. He fights with himself for a minute, not wanting to invade his boyfriend’s privacy because he honestly trusts Dean. Moving his thumb over the screen the battle is lost as he opens the text.

Text from Jimmy: You were the last person I expected to see last night. I couldn’t help but notice how you couldn’t keep your eyes off me. The feeling is definitely mutual. I miss you.

_Jimmy was at the restaurant? Why didn’t Dean tell me?_

He hears the flush of the toilet and quickly places the phone back on the table. Dean walks back into the room and resumes his place between Castiel’s legs, cuddling up with him. The younger man gets lost in the show again. Castiel has no control over the thoughts that pop into his mind about the previous night. 

_Dean was definitely distracted last night; did that have to do with Jimmy being there? Was that why he was all over me afterward? Is that why he wanted to have sex, so he could feel closer to my brother again?_

Caught up in his thoughts, the older man loses track of time. Dean shuffling around to grab the remote is the only thing that pulls him out of his own mind. Without thinking about it, he opens his mouth and lets all his fears spew from it. “So, about last night,” he starts, but quickly shuts his mouth.

Dean sits up and positions himself to face Castiel. “What about it?” the younger man asks, prompting him to continue.

Castiel tosses Dean’s phone to him. “I think I know why you were distracted.”

He watches his boyfriend read the text, noticing how the muscles in his face flutter as he clenches his jaw. “Why didn’t you tell me he was there?”

The younger man runs a hand through his hair, “I didn’t want it to ruin our night.”

“You didn’t want it to ruin our night, or your fantasy?” Castiel asks in a cold tone.

Dean huffs out a frustrated breath. “What the fuck are you talking about, Cas? What fantasy?”

Castiel gets up off the couch and walks over to stand in front of the bay window.

“What fucking fantasy, Cas?” Dean asks again as he gets up and walks over to his boyfriend.

The older man flicks his eyes down to the floor, “You were all over me when we stepped foot in the apartment.”

“Don’t do that, Cas,” Dean says as he spins his boyfriend around to face him.

The older man tilts his head, “Don’t do what, exactly?”

All emotion seems to drain from his boyfriend’s face. “Don’t make last night into something it clearly wasn’t.”

A soft chuckle falls from Castiel’s mouth, “Clearly? It’s not clear to me, Dean. We went out; you were distracted through the majority of our dinner. I didn’t say anything because I just chalked it up to you being tired.” Castiel crosses his arms over his chest. “We come home, and you were all over me. I wanted to wait and you practically begged me not to.”

“Please tell me you’re fucking joking,” he says, shaking his head. He can’t believe this is happening.

The older man pinches the bridge of his nose, “Just tell me, when your eyes closed last night, was it me you were thinking of? When I made love to you, was it me or Jimmy in your mind?”

The words are like a punch in his stomach, and acid churns deep inside Dean. How could Castiel actually think Dean would do something like that? He runs a hand over his mouth, “I can’t believe you think I would do that. Whatever insecurities you have when it comes to your brother, I understand them, I honestly do. But I’ll be damned if I allow you to cheapen what happened in our bedroom.”

Castiel hangs his head, “Dean-”

“No, Cas – just don’t okay,” the younger man says, cutting him off. He doesn’t want to hear anything else the man might have to say. “Think what you want, because I sure as hell can’t stop you.”

Dean turns around and walks into his bedroom. He quickly changes into jeans and a t-shirt. Slipping his shoes on, he stands up and grabs his keys. In the living room, Dean doesn’t bother looking at Castiel; he can’t right now. “I knew something like this would happen. I told you, I’m not relationship material; don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’m going out,” he says over his shoulder and then walks out the door, slamming it behind him.

* * *

 

At a bar downtown, Dean sits in a booth peeling the label off his beer. He looks up when Melanie slides in on the other side. She orders a beer when the server walks up and then turns her eyes on Dean.

“Okay, spill it, Winchester,” she says, giving him a small smile.

“What makes you think something’s wrong? Can’t a guy just want to grab a beer with his friend,” he asks in a defensive tone.

She arches an eyebrow at him, “Normally, yes, but I know you better than that. So start talking.”

“Are we gonna paint each other’s nails and braid our hair after?”

Melanie kicks his leg under the table. “Don’t make me kick your ass, Dean.”

Dean takes a deep breath, and even though he doesn’t want to talk about it, he finds himself spilling his guts. His co-workers already know he is dating Castiel and have known since the first day he came back. They asked why he was walking around as if he was on cloud nine, and he told them freely. He starts telling Melanie about the date and seeing Jimmy there. He tells her what happened after when they got home, and all through the conversation, she doesn’t say a word. It’s never a good thing when Melanie stays quiet. When he gives her the details of the fight, she just arches her eyebrow but remains silent. When he finishes, she just clears her throat and taps her nails on the table.

“Mel?”

She shakes her head, “So let me see if I have this right. You and Castiel have a misunderstanding. One that I can clearly see why he reacted the way he did after seeing the text. Instead of staying there and working this out, you leave. You ran out on a man, that might I add is the best thing that has ever happened to you?”

His eyes flick down to the table, “Well, when you put it that-”

“Why are you trying to fuck this up, Dean? Are you really that afraid of being happy?”

He sits back against the seat, “I fuck everything else up. Why does it surprise you that I’m fucking this up, too?”

Melanie huffs out a frustrated breath, “You’re begging for my shoe to be shoved so far up your ass that the sweat on my knee will quench your thirst.”

“You have an obsession with my ass tonight or something?” he asks, the corners of his lips quirking up.

“It’s a nice ass,” she answers and takes a long pull of her beer.

Dean rolls his eyes and throws a wadded up napkin at his friend. He lets out a sigh and scratches the back of his neck. “You know I’m a faithful man, Melanie. When that’s questioned, it pisses me off. I had to get out of there before I said something I’d regret.”

His friend nods her head, “I understand that, I do. Try putting yourself in Castiel’s shoes. Michael had a two-year affair with his own brother. He was so broken that he left the country. You dated Jimmy before the two of you met. His insecurities after that text are valid. It sucks, but it’s understandable.”

He takes a long pull off his beer, letting the liquid roll over his tongue before he swallows. Dean knows Melanie is right. “So what should I do?”

“You go home, tell him what you told me. Then you work this out with him. The fact that you gave that man something you haven’t given anyone since you were eighteen says a lot.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Dean says, nodding his head.

Melanie chuckles, “I usually am.”

“Oh shut up,” he says playfully. “I’ll talk to him.” 

* * *

Dean pulls up into his spot in the parking garage. He sits in the car, just thinking to himself for a few minutes. The memory of the first time he kissed Castiel pops into his mind, bringing a smile to his face. It gives him the courage to face his boyfriend, knowing that he has to make things right, he gets out and walks to the stairwell. Taking the stairs up two at a time, his heart is hammering in his chest. He isn’t sure why he is nervous, but he is. All he wants to do is sit the man down and try to talk everything out. He mentally kicks himself for not doing this earlier instead of leaving.

Rounding the corner, he walks to his door and unlocks it. The apartment is dark when he steps inside. He switches the floor lamp on that is by the door so he won’t trip over anything. The silence in the room is almost deafening, and he feels his heart beat faster. Sam is more than likely still at Aaralynn’s place, but it’s still too quiet.  _Please be here, Cas, please be here._  He thinks to himself as he walks through the kitchen, into the living room. When he notices Castiel’s trench coat isn’t hanging up on the coat tree, his stomach ties in a knot.  _No, no, no, this can’t be happening. Please let him be in the bedroom asleep._ He walks to his room and flips on the light. All his fears are confirmed when he notices Castiel’s drawer open and his clothes are missing. Dean checks the closet; sure enough, his boyfriend’s suitcase is missing. “Fuck,” he says aloud.

He sinks down to sit by the bed. A hundred things are running through his mind. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he dials Castiel’s number. It goes straight to voicemail. A string of curses falls from his lips as he brings his knees up to his chest. He tries the number again and hears the older man’s deep voice on the pre-recorded message.  _Well, that’s a record breaker; screwing up a relationship in less than two months. Way to go, Winchester._ Dean sighs and calls his brother. He needs Sam right now.

His brother answers on the third ring, “Hello?”

“I think - I think I fucked up, Sammy,” Dean says in a voice that doesn’t sound like his own.

“Are you okay?” the younger Winchester asks.

Dean huffs out a sigh, “No. No, I’m not.”

“Okay. I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Hang tight.”

He pulls himself off the floor and walks into the kitchen. Dean pours himself a glass of whiskey and heads into the living room. Sitting down on the couch, he takes a large swig and then his head falls back against the cushion. When he hears the door open sometime later, he doesn’t bother looking up. 

Dean feels the couch shift with the weight of his brother as he sits down.

“Please tell me you’re not drunk.”

The older Winchester huffs a humorless laugh, “No, not yet anyway.”

“Good,” Sam says, “what happened?”

“Cas is gone,” he replies, sighing as he lifts his head up to look at his brother. He drains the rest of the amber liquid in his glass and then sits it on the table beside him. “He’s gone.”

Sam puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder, and that’s all it takes him to break. He lets it all go, telling Sam everything that happened. The younger Winchester remains silent, and if a tear rolls down Dean’s face, Sam doesn’t mention it.

* * *

 

Castiel gets out of the cab, quickly pays the driver, and walks numbly into the airport. His flight is scheduled to arrive in an hour. He works his way through security like a zombie. The fight plays repeatedly in his mind, torturing him. The sound of the door slamming echoes in his memory. He finds his gate and sits down in a hard chair. Pulling out his phone, he notices that it’s dead. Of course, that would be his luck. He plugs it in quickly so it can charge while he waits. To his left, he watches the arrival of planes approaching different gates out of the huge glass windows. He feels like his stomach is in knots, and he just wants to curl up in a ball and sleep for days. He hopes with everything in him that Dean found the note he left for him.

* * *

 

Later that night, Dean opens the window to let in fresh air. He strips out of his clothes and pulls back the blanket. The bed feels empty without Castiel with him. If it wasn’t for the whiskey, he’s sure he would have a hard time falling asleep. He pulls his boyfriend’s pillow close to his chest and breathes in deep. It still smells like the older man and it comforts him. The breeze from the window drifting through the room lulls him to sleep. There’s a rustling sound and a piece of paper falls to the floor and ends up under the bed. 

 

[Bon Jovi - Born To Be My Baby ](https://youtu.be/T6oyujbaw1E)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel the need to remind y'all of the happy ending tag. This is just a little hiccup and they will overcome it.  
> So ..... thoughts?
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to take a minute to apologize for this taking forever. It doesn't feel like 19 days, but it has been.  
> Some of my readers may know this already, but I suffer from depression. With that on top of sleep deprivation, I just couldn't write. I hope to get another chapter up much faster than this one. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Thanks to;  
> Shawnie - my editor, without you this would be a mess. Your changes and additions are amazing as always.  
> Monica - thank you for all the encouragement  
> Melaine - for helping me brainstorm.  
> Alexandra - for letting me rant and brainstorming as well.

The sun is blinding as Castiel pushes through the door of the hotel where he spent the night. He pulls his Aviators down over his eyes before he climbs into the jeep waiting on him. His friend and colleague, Inias, gives him a side-glance before he pulls back out onto the main road. The two attended college together and had kept in touch over the years. The man even flew out to Paris when Castiel needed him. 

“You look like shit, Castiel,” his friend comments without taking his eyes off the asphalt in front of him.

Castiel huffs a laugh. “You say the sweetest things,” he replies dryly.

“I try,” the friend says as he switches lanes, fighting through traffic. “You want to talk about it?”

“Not particularly, no,” he answers, checking his phone for about the millionth time that morning, willing the damn thing to ring.

“Trouble in paradise?” Inias asks, the concern in his voice ringing through loud and clear.

Castiel sighs and lets his head fall back against the seat. “You could say that.”

“You can talk to me, Castiel. You know that.”

“I know, Inias.” And just like that, the dam breaks and he tells his friend everything. His friend remains the silent shoulder that Castiel needs.

“Castiel, have faith, everything will work itself out,” the man says as he turns and hits the dirt road.

* * *

The morning sunlight against his eyes is unwelcome. Dean groans loudly and pulls the blankets over his head. Fuck this shit. He isn’t waking up, not even if God himself were to command it. It’s been two days since Castiel walked out of his life, and the fucker hasn’t even bothered to call and explain why. It was a misunderstanding. One they could have worked through, but apparently, it wasn’t worth it. Dean knew this would happen, but that doesn’t stop the ache in his chest. Normally he would just drink himself numb, but he can’t find it in himself to do that. He wants to feel the pain, the soul-deep wounds, because it reminds him that Castiel was real. As fucked up as it may be, it makes him feel closer to the man.

The only time he comes out of his room is for the necessary bathroom break. He hasn’t eaten and has barely had anything to drink. Sam, thankfully, has not made a comment. Then again, his brother has been too busy at work to notice. Dean has been comfortably numb in his room, nestled under the blankets and hiding from existence with Castiel’s pillow clutched tightly to his chest.  If he breathes deeply enough, he can still smell the one who broke his heart. He dreams endlessly of the blue-eyed man.

He doesn’t know how long he drifts between consciousness and sleep, and frankly, he doesn’t give a damn. He vaguely hears his phone chirp, missed calls and texts that he will continue to ignore. He knows they are not from the one person he wants to hear from, so he doesn’t bother checking. His phone is set with a distinct ringtone for Castiel, Metallica’s  _[Nothing Else Matters](https://youtu.be/Tj75Arhq5ho)._

He’s just about to drift off to sleep when his bedroom door flies open. Dean cracks one of his eyes open enough to see his moose of a brother standing in the doorway.

“May I help you,” he manages to say.

His brother sighs. “How long are you going to hide in here?”

“Till your oldest graduates college.”

He hears heavy footsteps and the sound of his window opening. “I don’t have kids.”

Dean rolls his eyes even though Sam can’t see it. “No shit, Sherlock.”

“So you’re just going to stay in here and sulk?”

“That’s the plan, Sammy.”

The bed moves under the weight of his brother. “I don’t fucking think so. Dean, it sucks that Cas left, I get it, I really do, but you can’t hide in here forever.”

Dean gets up on one elbow, “I can, and I will.”

Sam shakes his head, “Will you at least come down to eat dinner with me?”

He falls back on the bed, closing his eyes. “I’m not hungry.”

“Please try. I don’t even remember the last time you ate,” Sam pleads.

“I can’t,” he answers. “It feels like my heart was ripped out, and even the thought of food makes my stomach turn.”

His brother sighs, “I know.”

“No, Sam, you don’t know,” he breathes out, just barely above a whisper. “You have no fucking clue. Now, kindly leave me the hell alone.”

When he hears the door shut, Dean lets out a deep sigh, getting up and grabbing his favorite hoodie. Once it’s in place, he climbs through the window onto the fire escape. It’s drizzling outside, and the cold seeps through to his bones. He isn’t sure when it happens, but he feels the telltale sting behind his eyes. Tears form and slide down his face; he doesn’t even try to stop them. Never once has he cried over a relationship ending, but somehow this is different. Castiel is different. Every breath Dean takes burns his lungs. His heart, although it’s still beating, feels like a hand is squeezing it. It feels like a part of him is missing. Like someone ripped a vital organ from his body.  As much as it hurts, and fuck does it ever hurt, he doesn’t regret a single minute spent with the man. Because now he knows what it feels like to truly fall in love.

* * *

Later that night Dean pulls himself out of bed. He takes a quick shower and chokes down a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Sam doesn’t say anything, but a little flash of relief crosses his face. Dean shuffles back into his room and is about to crawl back in bed when his phone starts playing Foghat's [ _Slow Ride_](https://youtu.be/GcCNcgoyG_0). It’s work calling, so he can’t ignore it.

“Winchester,” he answers.

“We have an accident involving a semi,” Benny’s gruff voice comes over the line. “We need all the hands we’ve got. It’s bad, brother.”

“I’ll be down in five,” Dean says before hanging up the phone. He quickly dresses in uniform and pulls his boots on. In the living room, he grabs his keys and tells his brother not to wait up over his shoulder as he walks out the door.

He races down the stairs, taking them two at a time. He may not have had much sleep, but his adrenaline is pumping the way it always does we he goes out on call. Rufus is waiting downstairs in front of his building. He jumps up in the truck, bangs his hand on the door, and they take off through the streets.

* * *

They arrive on the scene and quickly start assisting the first responders. About fifteen feet up, an eighteen-wheeler blocks the three-lane highway. It’s clear it jackknifed and four cars had slammed into it, unable to fully brake in time. The crew works together to get everyone loaded up in the waiting ambulances. Dean, Benny, Victor, and Gordon rush to a red SUV. One of the passengers, a female, is pinned in the driver’s seat and isn’t responding. Gordon is helping a teen male in the front. Dean opens the back door and peeks inside. His eyes land on a car seat that holds a toddler who can’t be more than a year old. The little boy’s big blue eyes are wide with fear and unshed tears. Dean quickly, but carefully, unbuckles the seat’s restraints and lifts the toddler out. The child starts crying as soon as he is away from the vehicle. Dean holds the boy close and makes shushing noises to calm him. Charlie walks up to help, but when Dean tries to pass him off, the little boy turns his face into Dean’s neck. 

“Looks like you have a little buddy,” Charlie says softly.

Dean nods his head at her and starts swaying back and forth, trying to calm the child. He watches as the little boy’s mother is loaded into an ambulance, and Dean subconsciously starts humming  _Hey Jude._  The child pulls back and looks up at Dean with those big blue eyes. They are the same color as Castiel’s and it rips at his heart.  Pushing through for the little boy, he smiles and starts singing the song softly.

* * *

Dean is finishing the paperwork at the hospital before heading back to his apartment. He looks over his shoulder to see Rufus talking with one of the doctors. From the looks of it, they may be here a little longer. His muscles are sore and he needs a coffee. He doesn’t particularly like the hospital's brew, but it will have to do. He walks through the winding halls of the building until he reaches the cafeteria. Dean gets a large black coffee, charge free since he is a paramedic, then turns around and starts to walk back out to the truck to wait for Rufus.

He’s almost to the automatic sliding doors when he hears a door close behind him. It’s not unusual so he doesn’t bother turning around, but when the doors slide open, he hears someone calling his name. A chill runs down his spine, but his steps do not falter. It’s Jimmy. Shit. He takes a clarifying breath and decides to ignore the man as he steps outside. Keeping his eyes trained on the pavement under his feet, he reaches the truck and hears the man call his name again. Fuck his life; he doesn’t need this shit right now.

He inhales deeply, exhales slowly, and then turns around to face Jimmy. “May I help you, Doctor Novak?” he asks, trying to keep his tone civil.

The formality seems to shake the man slightly, but he quickly recovers. “Dean, I would like to talk to you for a moment.”

“We have nothing to talk about,” he says shaking his head.

Jimmy sighs, “I understand you are hurt over the fact I moved in with Michael.”

Dean huffs a laugh, “Hurt? I’m not hurt in the least. You’re a grown man, and if I remember correctly, I’m the one who ended our relationship. What you do is none of my concern.”

The other man nods, “You’re right, it’s not.”

“Glad we got that settled, Doc,” Dean snarks as he turns around to open the door of the truck.

“My brother...” Jimmy starts.

Dean turns back around slowly, crossing his arms across his chest. He stands with his feet shoulder width apart and fixes a glare on the man, feeling his anger start to bubble beneath the surface. “I would choose your words very fucking carefully if you decide to finish that sentence.”

The man straightens his posture, “I just find it hypocritical that he shut me out of his life.” He huffs a laugh, “Yet he’s done the exact same thing with you that I did with Michael.”

“What exactly do you think he did?” Dean asks.

“You clearly wasted no time in replacing me, and with my brother no less,” the man says. “Was it before or after we split up that you started fucking my brother?”

Dean nods his head, flicks his eyes down and counts to ten. He needs to get himself under control. Punching a doctor, while on company time, is frowned upon. He looks back up, “Not that it’s any of your fucking business, but it was after we split.” Just to be a dick he adds, “And just for clarification, I didn’t fuck Cas.”

Confusion flashes across Jimmy’s face. “I saw the two of you at Dakota’s.”

“That you did,” Dean confirms. “We were on a date.”

“So you are fucking him.”

Dean looks the man in the eyes and says very slowly, “I said _I_  didn’t fuck  _him_.”

Jimmy’s eyes go wide with understanding, “You never bottom for anyone.”

Dean shakes his head, “No, that’s where you’re wrong. I just never bottomed for you.”

Jimmy takes a deep breath, “So did he...” he starts, but then lets his words trails off.

Dean already knows the question. “No, he’s still living with me, shares my bed.”

The man drops his head, looking down at his feet. “So you two are serious.”

“We are,” Dean confirms. There is no way he is telling Jimmy about the fight following that text. Or the fact that Castiel left without a word. It’s really none of the man’s business. Hell, none of this is.

When Jimmy opens his mouth to speak again, Rufus walks up. “Is everything okay, Winchester?”

Nodding Dean says, “Yeah, boss.” He looks at Jimmy, “Are we finished here?”

The doctor nods his head. “Yeah, I believe we are.”

“Doctor Novak,” Rufus says.

Jimmy nods in response, “Turner.”

“Let’s roll,” Rufus says, moving past the men to get in the truck.

* * *

On the ride back to his apartment, Dean stayed quiet. The night took a toll on him, and he can’t stop thinking about Castiel. As Dean opens the door to get out of the truck, Rufus places a hand on his shoulder. Dean looks back at the man, expecting him to say something. The older man doesn’t, but instead he just squeezes Dean’s shoulder. The unspoken communication is clear;  _‘call me if you need me’_. Rufus nods his head at Dean, and the younger man hops out of the truck. Waving goodbye, he turns around to head inside. Walking slowly upstairs to his apartment, Dean’s mind keeps flashing from the little boy, to the conversation with Jimmy, and then to Castiel. When he walks through the front door, he heads immediately to grab a cold one from the fridge, then heads to his room.

He sits down on the edge of his bed and takes a big swig from the bottle, looking around the room. It feels so empty without Castiel. He sighs and pulls out his phone. Scooting back on the bed until his back rests against the headboard, he starts scrolling through the pictures on his phone. Before Castiel came into his life there were very few in his gallery. There was some of himself, Sam, and Aaralynn hanging out at the apartment having fun.

Now pictures of the dark-haired man that stormed into his life and flipped it upside down dominate it. Pictures of him leaning back against Castiel’s chest while they watch TV. His favorite is a snapshot of Castiel sleeping, the morning sun coming through the window and bathing the man in the light. He looks so at peace in the picture. Dean smiles to himself and wonders when he became such a sap. He remembers seconds after capturing the image, Castiel woke up and pulled him close and they made out until their lips were puffy and sore. God, does he miss the man.

He closes out the gallery and finds the number he needs. He hits call and puts the phone to his ear. Dean’s heart starts thumping rapidly in his chest as he hears each ring. His mind betrays him as each second slips by until there is a click.

“Hello, Dean,” the deep voice says over the line. Dean’s heart stops for a second and his mind goes blank. “Dean?”

“Cas,” He chokes out as a tear slips down his cheek. “I’m sorry.”

There is a pause for a few beats. Dean almost thinks Castiel hung up until he hears the man take a breath and then, “I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn’t have doubted you. I’m so sorry.”

“Why did you-” his voice breaks and he has to wipe his eyes. “Why did you leave Cas,” he asks. “We could have worked it out.”

“What are you talking about Dean? Shortly after you left, I got a call to get on the next flight to Nevada. I left for work. Didn’t you read the note I left in our room?” 

Dean’s face scrunches up in confusion. “I didn’t find a note, Cas. I thought you left me.”

“I assure you, I left one,” Castiel replies. “You honestly think I would leave after one fight?”

“Well-”

“Dean, we’re going to fight. Every couple has disagreements.”

“Yeah, but-”

“But nothing, Dean,” Castiel finishes for him. “I let my insecurities get the better of me. That doesn’t mean I’d walk away from you.” He sighs, “It’s going to take a lot more than that to get rid of me.”

“Really?” Dean asks, a true smile crossing his face. His heart beat picks up in speed as if it’s going to burst with happiness.  

“Yes, really,” Castiel answers, “You’re stuck with me for as long as you’ll have me.”

“You think you can handle me for that long?”

“How long are we talking about?” Castiel asks.

Dean closes his eyes, “Until my last breath.”

“No, Dean,” Castiel replies, “until my mine.”

“When did we become such saps?”

He hears the deep timber of Castiel’s laughter fill the line. The sound wraps around Dean, calming him, making him feel true joy. “For me, it was when I met you.”

Dean opens his eyes, “God, I miss you so much. Come home, Cas.”

Castiel sighs, “I want nothing more than that.”

They continue to talk until late in the night, only getting off the phone because both need rest to work the following day. As Dean undresses for bed, he feels a calming peace wash over him. Then he remembers Castiel mentioning a note. Where could it be? He’s seen no signs of a note.  He looks on the nightstands and the dresser, but still can’t find it. Then he remembers the window was open that night. He drops to his knees and looks under everything, coming up empty handed. Then he crawls over and peers under the bed. He can barely make out the edge of something, so he reaches for it. Dean sits up and sure enough, it’s the note Castiel was talking about.

Dean,

I’m so sorry for doubting you and for the words I said. I know you would never betray my trust. I have to catch a plane for work. I’ll be home soon. Call me when you get home, please.

-Cas

He folds the note and puts it in his bedside table drawer. Dean looks over when he hears footsteps in the hall. His brother is lingering outside of his door. “Hey. I wasn’t expecting you home tonight.”

Sam shrugs, “I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m good,” he replies.

The younger Winchester leans against the doorjamb. “Yeah? Did you talk to Cas?”

He nods his head, “I did. Everything is fine.”

Sam smiles, relief showing on his face. He walks in, sits down beside his brother, and bumps Dean's shoulder with his own. “Good. I didn’t want to have to kick his ass. I kinda like him.”

Dean laughs, “There’s no need for that.” He stands up and stretches. “How about I make us a big breakfast in the morning?”

“Sounds good to me.”

He pulls the blanket back on the bed. “Thanks, man, for uh, everything.”

“No problem. Goodnight, Dean.”

“Night, Sammy,” he replies as he climbs in bed and under the blanket. He watches his brother stand up and walk out of his room. Then he pulls Castiel’s pillow close to him. It will have to do until he can hold the man in his arms again. As he drifts off to sleep, his mind is filled with memories of his boyfriend’s smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why I chose Nothing Else Matters by Metallica for Castiel's ringtone;
> 
> So close no matter how far  
> Couldn't be much more from the heart  
> Forever trusting who we are  
> And nothing else matters
> 
> Never opened myself this way  
> Life is ours, we live it our way  
> All these words I don't just say  
> And nothing else matters
> 
> Trust I seek and I find in you  
> Every day for us something new  
> Open mind for a different view  
> And nothing else matters
> 
> So thoughts?  
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Monijune, for betaing this :)
> 
> I'm so sorry it has taken forever to get this chapter up. I'll let you know now that chapter 18 is almost finished so you won't have to wait long for that one. Life and depression got in the way once again, but I'll never abandon this fic. So enjoy :)  
> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  
> My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> Any errors that you notice I will get them fixed.

It’s been a month since Castiel left for work. Time has equally crawled and flown by quickly. Dean threw himself into work, taking as many shifts as he could to avoid having too much time on his hands. He never thought he could miss someone as much as he does his boyfriend. He misses the man’s company, his laughter, his smile. The way Castiel tilts his head to the side when he’s confused, or deep in thought. Hell, he even misses the heated, very animated discussions Sam and Castiel would have. They’ve communicated through texts, phone calls, and Skype sessions when they had time. It’s not the same, but it helps. On the bright side, Castiel should be home in a few days, so to say that Dean is excited is an understatement.

Inside the station at work, Dean is finishing his end of shift duties. Even though it’s the beginning of November, the temperature is still in the eighties. Dean’s uniform clings against his skin from him sweating.  He restocks the medical supplies on autopilot while thoughts of his boyfriend dominate his mind. The touch of Castiel’s soft hands, the way he sighs as he opens his mouth to dip his tongue inside Dean’s, the intoxicating taste of the man.  

“Ground control to Major Tom,” a voice says as hands slap against the side of the ambulance. 

Dean jumps, hitting his head in the process. People really need to stop sneaking up on him. He turns around and glares at Melanie. “May I help you? Or did you just want to scare the shit out of me?”

His friend and coworker smirks, “A bit of both actually. I like watching you jump, although, I was enjoying the view from behind.”

He rolls his eyes, walks forward and jumps down. The woman is obsessed with his ass. Well, he does have a nice ass, though. “Don’t objectify me; that’s sexual harassment, Mel.”

Shrugging, Melanie crosses her arms. “You like when I sexually harass you.”

“That I do,” he agrees. “Seriously, though, babe, what did you need?”

Melanie tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear, a nervous tic she’s had as long as Dean can remember. “Well, here’s the thing,” she starts and then bites her bottom lip. The woman is obviously choosing her words.

He chuckles softly, “Mel just spit it out already.”

She sighs, “Well, I kind of forgot that I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding.”

Dean arches an eyebrow at her. “How do you forget a thing like that?”

“Because I didn’t want to attend in the first place; I hate weddings. Can you actually see me willingly wear a poufy dress?” She grimaces at the thought.

“I’ve never seen you willingly put on a dress.” A flash of mischief brightness his eyes, “Well, except for junior prom.”

Melanie groans at the memory and smacks his arm, “Oh my God. Why the hell did I ever let you talk me into that?”

He huffs a laugh, “Because you love me.” Dean sits down inside the ambulance, “That was a memorable night, 1970’s themed. You were wearing that little off the shoulder red dress.”

She walks over and sits beside him. “Do I need to remind you what you were wearing?” she asks. “If I remember correctly, you were dressed in a white tux, your hair slicked back. You looked like a Tony Manero reject from Saturday Night Fever.”

Dean sits up straighter, reaches forward and tugs on a strand of his friend’s hair. “Hey, I pulled off that look.”

Melanie throws her head back in laughter, “You keep thinking that, Winchester.”

“It landed me in bed with Rhonda Hurley,” he replies in mock defense.

Melanie bumps her shoulder against his, “Oh, like that was a real challenge.”

The corner of Dean’s lips lifts in a smile, “Touché, Ellis, touché.”  

“I hear she made you wear pink panties, is that true?”

He runs a hand over his face, effectively disguising his “fuck my life.” Dean looks around; thankfully, no one is in earshot. He isn’t ashamed of it; he just doesn’t want it announced to the entire crew. “Yes, it’s true, but it was only one time.”

Melanie eyes twinkle with laughter, “Uh huh, if you say so.”

Dean narrows his eyes at his friend, the tips of his ears turning red. “Shaddup,” he huffs out through a breath. Now would definitely be a good time to get back on track. “So what did you needed to ask me?”

She crosses her legs Indian style and looks over at him, “Well, the wedding is next week. It’s out of state, so I have to take time off work. Boss said if I can find someone to cover my shifts it won’t be a problem.”

“So you want me to take your shifts? What’s in it for me?” Dean asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

Melanie rolls her eyes, “What would Cas think if he knew you were flirting with me?”

“He knows it’s innocent when it comes to you,” he replies, standing up to stretch his body. It’s the end of his shift, and he can hear his bed calling his name loud and clear. 

“I’ll cover the rest of your shifts through next Monday.” She stands up and starts moving around in the bus. “What do you say?”

It’s Monday now so that would give Dean a nice break. “Yeah, you got a deal, Ellis. However, that means you’ll have to help train the newbie.”

Melanie facepalms. “Are you serious,” she asks, the tone of her voice reminiscent of a petulant child.

“'Fraid so, sweetheart; don’t worry Red will help you,” he answers as he walks toward the bay doors. “Tell Rufus to take me off the on-call duties. I think I’m going to drive out and surprise Cas.”

“You got it, Winchester,” he hears her voice call out as he steps out of the shade of the station.

* * *

Dean wakes up earlier than usual the next morning. He let Sam know last night that he planned to drive out and see Castiel. Hopefully, they will be returning together. After showering, shaving, and a quick breakfast, he walks downstairs and slides inside his car. He turns the key over in the ignition and lets her engine run for a bit. Grabbing the map out of the glove box, he plots his route to Nevada. His phone has GPS, but he likes planning trips this way. As soon as he has the way mapped out, he puts his Baby in drive, pulls out onto Main Street, and heads in the direction of I-30W. If he drives straight through, with minimal stops, he should arrive around ten that night. At a nearby RaceTrac, he stops fills up on gas and grabs snacks for the trip.

Once back out on the road, he puts a cassette tape in; the opening guitar riffs bringing a smile to his face. He reaches over and turns the volume dial all the way to the right.

“Turn it up,” he sings along with the song, his fingers drumming against the steering wheel.

“[Big wheels keep on turning](https://youtu.be/ye5BuYf8q4o); carry me home to see my kin, singing songs about the southland. I miss 'ole' 'bamy once again, and I think it's a sin, yes.”

He switches his turn signal on and eases onto the highway. “Well I heard Mister Young sing about her, well I heard old Neil put her down. Well, I hope Neil Young will remember, a Southern man don't need him around anyhow.” His head bobs along to the beat, a smile firmly in place. Man, he has missed this, the open road, the autumn wind whipping through his hair. It’s been years since Dean has taken a long road trip.

“Sweet home, Alabama, where the skies are so blue, sweet home Alabama. Lord, I'm coming home to you,” he sings along at the top of his lungs.

Hours later, with all the stops along the way for gas and food, Dean decides to pull over at a rest stop in Arizona. The original plan to drive straight through is forgotten as he crawls into the backseat and sets the alarm on his phone, a little rest never hurt anyone. Besides, there is really no point in showing up at Castiel’s hotel just to fall asleep soon after. His boyfriend still has no idea of Dean’s plans. They talked earlier that day when Castiel called. Dean had to pull off on the side of the highway, and he prayed that the other man didn’t notice the sound of traffic flying by. Thoughts of seeing his boyfriend the following day is what finally lulls Dean to sleep.

* * *

It’s still dark out when Dean’s alarm wakes him. He sits up and rolls his neck side to side. Man, his body definitely isn’t what it used to be. After using the rest stop facilities, he makes his way back on the road. He stops at a small dinner along the way to grab a coffee and a light breakfast before continuing his journey to Nevada. Around eleven, his phone chimes with a new message. He pulls off to the side of the road and checks it.

Text from Cas: We just got the last of the findings logged. I should be able to fly home tomorrow. I’m resting for the rest of the day. Call me when you can.

Dean’s heartbeat picks up, shit he really needs to get there before his boyfriend books his flight home. He shoots off a reply and checks the name of the hotel to see how long it will take to get there. Castiel mentioned where he was staying in one of their phone conversations. Satisfied that he will only have an hour and a half drive time, he eases back onto the road.

* * *

Dean pulls into a parking space at the hotel. He grabs the small bag on the passenger side, lube and condoms – hey, you have to be prepared -  and stuffs it down in his duffel bag. Opening the door, he steps out and stretches his legs. He shoulders his bag and walks inside the building. There is a beautiful blonde sitting at the registration desk. His patented Winchester charming smile slides across his face as he leans against the counter, “Hello, ma’am. Could you tell me what room Castiel Novak is in?”

He doesn’t miss the way her eyes skate over his body. When her eyes meet his again she asks, “Is Mr. Novak expecting you?”

“No, ma’am,” he answers with a grin. “I want to surprise him.”

Her eyebrow arches, “Friend of yours?”

Dean huffs a laugh, “Boyfriend actually.”

A smirk lifts the corner of her lips as she allows her eyes to run the length of his body again. Her tone is playful when she responds, “What a shame.” The blonde’s fingers fly over the keyboard. “He’s in room three-fifteen. If you take the elevator up to the third floor, make a left and it’s the last door at the end of the hall.”  

Tapping his knuckles against the wood, he smiles, “Thank you, sweetheart.”

He turns to walk away and hears her, “The pleasure’s all mine.” Dean can’t suppress the deep chuckle that erupts from him. At the bank of elevators, he presses the call button and thankfully the door opens immediately.  Stepping inside, Dean tries to calm his nerves. He’s not as nervous as he is … well, he’s not sure how he would describe how he feels right now. He presses the button for the third floor and notices his hand shaking a little. Huffing a laugh, he closes his eyes, and the elevator begins its ascent.

* * *

Dean stands in front of room three-fifteen, inhales deeply, then lifts his hand and raps his knuckles against the door. He can hear the voice of his boyfriend call out, shifting from one foot to the other, Dean shoves his hands deep inside his pockets.

Castiel is focused on something over his shoulder when he the door swings open, “Inias, how many times-” Then blue eyes finally meet Dean’s own. “Dean?” Confusion is evident in not only his boyfriend’s voice, but also the look on the man’s face.

“Expecting someone else, Cas?” A smirk crosses his face, “I could come back if this is a bad-” Dean’s words are cut off by Castiel grabbing him by the shirt and hauling him inside the room. His bag hits the floor.

“Dean,” Castiel manages in between kissing him. “You’re here.” The man kisses him again. “You’re really here.”

Chucking when Castiel allows him to breathe again, Dean kicks the door shut with his foot. “Yes, babe, I’m really here.”

Castiel pushes Dean back against the door and locks their lips together in a kiss that’s not passion filled, but says, 'Damn I’ve missed you.' He rests his forehead against Dean’s, his breath warm, as it moves over Dean’s face. “How did you manage to get out of work?”

Dean huffs a laugh, but doesn’t answer the question, instead, he asks, “Who’s Inias?”

His boyfriend pulls back a little, his hands moving down to the hem of Dean’s shirt. “My coworker, I’ve mentioned him several times. Haven’t you paid attention?” Soft hands that Dean’s missed find their way under his shirt and their warmth feels like fire against his skin. “Stop trying to avoid the question.”

Wrapping his arms around the older man, Dean shrugs, “Melanie traded shifts with me. So I decided to come see you. Surprised?”

“To say the least,” Castiel answers then takes Dean’s hand and leads him farther inside the room. He pushes Dean down on the bed, immediately crawls up his body and straddles the younger man. Warm lips return to Dean’s, their mouths opening, tongues dipping inside. The taste is intoxicating, Dean’s favorite drug, which leaves his head in a fog. Castiel’s hands push his shirt up and Dean shifts just enough, and then it goes flying across the room.

“I take it you missed me,” Dean manages to say before his lips are once again stolen in a heated kiss.

“Yes,” Castiel answers as his lips trail down Dean’s jaw. “What was your first clue?” His hands trail down and fumble with the zipper of Dean’s jeans.

Dean huffs a laugh, “Eager much?”

Castiel sighs against his neck, “It’s been a month, Dean, and you talk too much.” He moves back to pull the jeans off Dean’s body and tosses them aside.

Dean moves up the bed as he watches his boyfriend strip down to his boxers. Then he has a lap full of Castiel, and as much as he is definitely on board with all of this, they have things they need to discuss. Dean takes a deep breath and tries to control his hormones that are screaming at him to shut the hell up. Cupping his boyfriend's face, he waits for Castiel’s eyes to meet his. “Cas,” he says softly, “as much as I want this, and trust me, I do want this, we need to talk.”

His boyfriend sits up and his eyes flick to the window above the bed.

“Nothing good ever follows those four words.”

Trailing his hands down Castiel’s body, they settle on the man’s hips. “That’s exactly why we need to talk. Why you reacted to the text like you did, and why I left instead of talking it out.” Blue eyes search Dean’s face, and Castiel sighs. “Cas, I promise we’re good, but we’re going to do this right.”

Castiel moves off Dean’s lap. “If I were Jimmy you wouldn’t worry about talking right now,” he mutters under his breath, but Dean catches the words.

Dean sits up against the headboard. He counts to ten mentally to keep from popping off something he’ll regret. “You’re right, if you were Jimmy, I wouldn’t give a flying fuck.”  His boyfriend moves off the bed, but Dean reaches out and grabs Castiel’s wrist gently. “I didn’t give a damn about your brother or our relationship if you can call it that.”

Dean stands up behind the older man, turning him around, and he hooks his finger under Castiel’s chin and looks him in the eyes. “Cas, I care about you a hell of a lot more than I ever did Jimmy. Hell, I care about you more than I did Carmen, and I was going to ask her to marry me.”

“Oh,” is all Castiel replies.

Dean kisses the bend of his boyfriend’s neck. “Oh?”

“What do you want me to say, Dean?” Castiel asks. “I can’t help that I’m insecure when it comes to-”

Dean drops his arms, wrapping them around his boyfriend. “I’m not Jimmy or Michael.” He nuzzles his face against his boyfriend’s skin. Dean’s not sure why he’s doing this; he’s never taken the time to reassure his partner of his intentions. This, however, is different. This is Castiel and, as much as it scares the hell out of him, he’s in love with the blue-eyed man. He needs to make sure they are on the same page. “I need you to trust me when I say; I’ll never cheat on you. I’ll do whatever I need to do, to prove that.” 

Castiel lets his head fall back against Dean’s shoulder, “I trust you. I believe you.”

Dean grazes his lips against his boyfriend’s skin. “I know you believe me here,” he moves his hand up and rests it against Castiel chest, over the man’s heart. “I need you to believe me here,” his hand comes up and his fingers tap against the side of Castiel’s head softly. “Will you try to do that for me?”

The man sighs, “Yes, Dean, I’ll try.” Dean smiles, taking Castiel’s hand in his. His lips brush over the man’s knuckles.

“That’s all I ask, now,” Dean rests his forehead against his boyfriend’s, a playful smirk on his lips, “I believe you were in the middle of showing me how much you _missed_ me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thoughts?  
> Don't kill me, I promise chapter 18 is almost done and there is smut in it.  
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to a dear friend of mine, Alexandra, for her help with the smut. It was a team effort, her words with mine.  
> Here is her Ao3: [hnatiwa](http://archiveofourown.org/users/hnatiwa/pseuds/hnatiwa)  
> Thank you, Melanie, for checking this for errors.
> 
> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters. My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> Warning: There is rimming in this chapter. Bottom!Cas  
> I hope you enjoy!!

“That’s all I ask, now,” Dean rests his forehead against his boyfriend’s a playful smirk on his lips. “I believe you were in the middle of showing me how much you  _missed me.”_

Castiel shivers when Dean’s voice drops an octave, low and throaty. “I believe you are correct,” Castiel murmurs, his lips grazing his boyfriend’s neck. Dean sighs softly as Castiel moves against his ear, his kisses, warm, and eager.

Dean closes his eyes. “I missed you,” he whispers against Castiel’s jaw line between kisses, “Let me show you.” He moves off the bed just to grab the lube and condoms from his bag.

Once he returns to the bed Castiel’s his hands slip up the curve of Dean’s back, “I’m all yours, Dean. I missed you so much.” That’s all Dean needs to hear. He captures the older man’s lips with a burning passion that ignites every inch of his skin. Castiel moans into his mouth, their hands slipping up around each other’s backs, pulling them closer, their bodies pressing together and grinding. Pulling Castiel down on top of him Dean sucks a bruise into the man’s neck, drawing a pleasured groan as his hips buck against Dean. He shivers, their arousals rubbing against one another, evident and urgent with need.

"Oh, no you don’t,” Dean whispers, his hands roaming to find the tops of Castiel hands. He captures his boyfriend’s wrists securely, bringing a knee up, wrapping around Castiel’s hips and flipping them over. Castiel lands with a gasp, his wrists pinned above his head and Dean’s body looming over him. “Slow down, babe, you’ve been gone so long. I want to take my time enjoying you.”

Castiel tries to thrash, but Dean’s muscular body holds him in place. Dean’s wet, heated lips trailing along every inch of the older man’s skin. Castiel struggles against the bed, the blanket bunching beneath him. He moans and whimpers, the warm heat of Dean’s lips teasing, kissing, nipping, lapping at him. It started at his ear, moved towards his jaw, across his cheek, their faces touching briefly. Castiel tries to turn to kiss him, but Dean pulls away, his eyes a vision of dark lust, “Uh, uh, baby, slower,” Dean whispers. Castiel throws his head back and desperately bucks his hips. Dean’s lips tease at his neck now, his tongue tasting the sweat starting to gather there. The smell rousing something inside Dean as the pheromones starts to seep out of Castiel’s pores. He savors it on his tongue, the small breathy noises from the man below him sounding glorious, perfect. Moving toward his shoulder, Dean drops kisses against it, slowly moving to his collarbone, licking its line as he moved toward his throat. A nip at Castiel’s Adam’s apple and the older man growls with need then whimpers at the kisses placed there right after. Dean continues to move back and forth, exploring the bronzed skin of Castiel. Memorizing every inch of him, committing his deep, breathy moans and pleas to memory forever as they fall from his gorgeous pink lips like poetry.

“Beautiful,” Dean whispers against Castiel’s skin right above his heart before placing another kiss there. “You're so gorgeous.” Dean hears a choked off sob coming from Castiel when he says it. Castiel’s body is starting to give in, as his emotions well up to the surface at Dean’s words. Castiel’s heart hammers in his chest, the beat skips at Dean's words of affection as Dean hovers above him. Dean chuckles before moving on, down his ribs. Castiel jumps at the sensation of lips moving over them. He tries not to laugh when Dean nips each one, working his way down, across to his abdominal muscles. With each kiss, Dean traces the faint lines of muscle definition with his tongue, watches intently as Castiel flexes, tenses up and then relaxes between his panting. His older man's skin breaks out in goose bumps, his chest rising and falling quickly. Castiel's breaths are no longer nice and rhythmic, but quick and random. The closer Dean gets to the waistband of his boxers, the more he can see Castiel’s cock twitch. Dean flicks his eyes to Castiel’s, he can see the blue depths swirling with desire and consumed by something akin to need and want. Dean reaches Castiel’s belly button now, his tongue dipping inside for a taste, the sensation causing Castiel to shiver. He drags his cheek across the older man’s abdomen once more, blowing air past his lips that tease him. Above Castiel’s hip bones Dean kisses them softly, and for the first time, his fingers touch Castiel since he started, his other hand still firmly holding his boyfriend’s hands together above Castiel’ head.

Dean pauses, his fingers gently stroke the dip of Castiel’s hip, his eyes trailing to the severely aroused state of the other man. He licks his lips as he gently drags his fingers down and tugs the dark cotton fabric away. Castiel’s erection juts out proudly, a shade of red turning purple, glistening with pre-come at the tip. Dean leans down and kisses it just as softly as he had everywhere else. Castiel lets out something between a moan and a growl. Dean’s nuzzles his boyfriend’s cock, the sensation of Dean’s skin, the traces of stubble send shivers of pleasure racing along Castiel’s spine.

“Look at you,” Dean murmurs sweetly, “Gonna make this so good for you, baby.”

Castiel whimpers, he can’t take it anymore. He bucks his hips up, Dean pulls his face away as he does so while laughing. Leaning forward he meets Castiel’s lust blown eyes, stares at their soulful look. He captures Castiel’s lips in a deep bruising kiss that makes both of them moan into one another. They break only as their lungs plead for air, both of them flushed, chests heaving. “Are you ready Cas,” he asks as he releases his boyfriend’s hands. Castiel closes his eyes and nods as Dean’s hands and widespread fingers trail down his chest to his hips again, his thumbs pushing into the dimples there gently. The pressure tells Castiel to lay still. Castiel moves his hands into Dean’s hair, stroking it lovingly before he shuts his eyes and breathes in deeply. Castiel feels Dean spread his legs, bringing them close to his chest. His mind blanks for a few seconds as he feels the warm press of Dean’s tongue against his hole. His boyfriend eases him open slowly, teasingly, as Castiel tries to arch into the feeling of wet warmth and pleasure against his rim. The older man groans loudly, his voice echoing in his ears, his fingers still teasing and stroking Dean’s hair.

Dean swirls his tongue over Castiel’s puckering hole, kisses it and then slips in past it slowly. Castiel is trembling almost immediately. From the corner of Dean’s eye, he can see Castiel’s cock throbbing, twitching as it drips pre-come against his own thigh. Probing deeper past the ring of muscle, he hears Castiel cry out, his whole body affected as he clenches around Dean. The younger man moans into him, desperate for more of the taste. Dean swirls his tongue, teases with his mouth in long deep sucking motions and fucks him open. Castiel thrashes, his whole body moving, trying to fuck Dean’s face in desperation. Castiel grips the blanket tightly in his free hand, swearing and whimpering all at once. Dean pulls back and presses hot kisses into his thigh as he lowers his hand, cupping his Castiel's balls, stroking slowly before tracing the space below it, his fingers twitching in anticipation.

“You’re so amazing, Cas,” Dean murmurs. Castiel groans, his fingers scratching at Dean’s scalp. The sound of a cap popping rings loud in the room and then there’s a feather like touch against his hole. He feels Dean’s fingers move over him, teasing his entrance before one finger starting pushing inside. 

“Yes, fuck, yes…” Castiel hisses, his hips trying to move, but Dean pins him; rubbing his face against the skin around Castiel's aching erection. Dean moves the first finger slowly, grazes his prostate so gently before pulling out to insert another. Castiel moans from deep inside his chest; bucking his hips as a shudder runs through his body. Dean moans as he feels Castiel tighten around his fingers. A groan rising from inside himself as Dean grinds his arousal into the bed beneath him briefly for relief. Castiel tugs at his hair, causing Dean's fingers to move in deeper, once again they touch the sweet spot that makes Castiel fall apart. Pulling out, Dean inserts a third, his tongue moving back down to swirl around them as he teases Castiel’s entrance, making the man above him cry out in a loud choked whimper.

“I know, baby,” Dean whispers between each taste, “I know.” Twisting all three fingers sideways, Castiel loses his mind. Dean pumps his fingers, scissoring them. Dean moves his free hand to search for the items he laid on the bed. It takes some odd maneuvering, Castiel oblivious to his movements. Dean grabs the lube and condom in his fist. He fumbles, at first, trying to keep his fingers moving as Castiel fucks them desperately. Sinful sounds fill the room as they fall past Castiel’s lips. More than a few curses escape Dean’s mouth as he pushes his boxers off with one hand, moving his legs to help get the offending material off. Dean adjusts himself on his side, the foil tears away with the help of his teeth, and the rolls the condom over himself. He bites his lip as he watches his Castiel fall apart in his hands causes a burning in his stomach and his balls to tighten. Dean has to grip the base of his cock to keep himself from coming. Castiel feels tears form in his eyes when Dean pulls away. He reaches out to touch him. He doesn’t even know the exact moment Dean pulled away. Everything in Castiel’s body ignites in flames, burning and the only thing he can comprehend his need of Dean, needing him now before he loses the last of his senses. Then Castiel feels skin against his own, and something that smells like summer rain and the warmest of embraces. Dean nuzzles into Castiel neck, kisses his shoulder, his hands searching out Castiel’s, the backs of them falling into the messed up blankets as Dean entwines their fingers together. Both men are shaking, covered in sweat. All at once, he feels Dean entering him and a spark ignites behind his closed lids. Castiel raises his hips when he feels his boyfriend is going too slowly. 

“I’m not going to break,” Castiel manages to grit out, his hands moving Dean’s hips, guiding him deeper inside. The air leaves Dean’s lungs in a whoosh as he bottoms out. Castiel releases a litany of curses that sound like prayers to Dean’s ears. They don’t move, their bodies still as they breathe, waiting for the right time to continue.

Slowly Dean draws back, the head still inside his boyfriend. Castiel breathes in slowly when Dean pulls out and holds it when he presses every inch into him, sparks erupting behind his eyes every time. Their rhythm is steady as they move together, beads of sweat dripping off their skin. Castiel’s arm encircles Dean’s neck, Dean steadies himself with one hand on the headboard, the other still entangled with Castiel fingers on the other side. Their lower bodies press together, slip and shudder. With every thrust, Castiel feels Dean owning his body. Their voices are loud, merging as they find more speed. If Dean had a presence of mind he would almost feel bad for the people in the surrounding room, but he has no fucks to give. Dean rolls his hips and almost every thrust nails Castiel’s prostate. Castiel feels his orgasm building under the surface, the tight heat swirling in his stomach, he hasn't come without his cock being touched before, but he's certain Dean can make him. They move as one, Castiel’s hips coming up matching Dean’s thrusts down. The sensation is more than either man can handle, in and out, tighter and heavier in their chests with every movement.

“D-Dean,” Castiel moans, his nails digging into Dean’s skin as the pleasure causes him to throw his head back.

“Cas, Castiel, look at me,” Dean thrusts again, his green eyes meeting endless pools of blue, flecks of white like ice in winter storms. Castiel’s face is red, flushed and their breathing so hard their lungs are burning. They watch one another, their fingers white-knuckled where they're holding onto each other like they’ll never let one another go. The world falls away, nothing but their breath, their hearts thundering beneath their skin. A few more movements, both of them close their eyes. Castiel comes first, a sob breaking from him as he does, untouched and overwhelmed. Dean’s name has never been so loud or sounded so good from anyone in his entire life. It sends Dean over the edge, in what feels like a lifetime behind him, causing him to fall against his boyfriend. Their arms still embracing one another as they fall apart, body and soul. Dean comes with a sob that matches Castiel’s surprising them both, their faces buried in the other’s neck. It isn’t until the white behind their eyes fades, their limbs crush them together in exhaustion that they both realize, there are tears running down their faces. However, they are too blissed out to do anything about it. Still entangled in each other’s arms they pass out, breathing each other in.

* * *

 

A couple hours later, Dean wakes up first, peering over at the man currently curled around him like an octopus. A soft chuckle escapes him before he can contain it. He pries his body out of Castiel’s limbs and slowly makes his way to the bathroom. He’s not aware of the time, however, right now that doesn’t matter. Turning on the shower, he steps in and adjusts the water to the hottest temperature he can stand. Rolling his muscles, he steps under the showerhead; dropping his head, he allows the water to beat down on his body. His limbs are still weak from the mind-blowing sex. He smiles to himself as his mind starts to wonder back to Castiel’s body pressed against his own. Dean never explored another person’s body like that, never cared enough, always wanted to get to the endgame. He huffs a laugh, shaking his head at how different everything is when it comes to his boyfriend.

Dean feels Castiel’s presence before he feels the strong arms of the older man wrap around him. Castiel presses a kiss to Dean’s neck, “What’s so funny?”

Letting his head fall back against the other man’s shoulder, “nothing, babe,” he says softly.

They stand like that in the shower for a few minutes, letting the silence envelope them. The only thing that matters is their hearts beating in time, the rise and fall of their chests synchronizing. Then Dean pulls out of his boyfriend’s embrace and switches positions so the older man is under the water. He grabs the shampoo, pouring a little in his hand, and then lathers Castiel’s hair. Dean’s fingers massaging the man’s scalp, while running through the dark, wet locks. Castiel’s body goes boneless against him as soft sighs escape his lips. After rinsing the shampoo out of the man’s hair, Castiel returns the favor. The act is so sensual, intimate that it throws Dean for a few minutes. It stirs a deep desire in him that leaves him craving more. They both finish washing their bodies and then wrap themselves in the hotel’s robes after toweling off.

Dean hops up on the bed and settles back against the headboard while he watches Castiel stare out the window. “What’s on your mind, Cas?”

The man hangs his head, “I, well, I’m sorry for what I said.” He clears his throat, “It was a cheap shot. I’m ashamed it even passed my lips.”       

“No harm, no foul.”

Castiel turns around to face Dean, “It was unfair of me, immature.”

Dean sighs, he knows they need to discuss this subject more and get it out of the way, “Cas.”

“No, Dean, let me speak.” He walks to the bed and sits down at the end, so they are facing each other. “I know talking about this stuff isn’t your strong suit. That’s fine. However, if we sweep this under the rug, it has the potential to fester, possibly destroying us. I don’t want that to happen.”

“You’re right,” Dean agrees. “So let’s talk.”

Fiddling with the hem of his robe Castiel continues, “We both have insecurities-”

“I’m not insecure, Cas,” Dean interrupts.

Castiel holds up a hand to stop his boyfriend’s protests. “Yes, you are, Dean. You're human and it's only natural to be insecure. You just have to avoid letting them rule your life. We both fear the person we love will be unfaithful. We’ve experienced that, you with Carmen, and I with Michael.”

Okay, so Castiel does have a point. Dean opened up to the man a couple weeks after they started dating about his ex-girlfriend/almost fiancé. How it kept him from allowing another person to get close to him. That isn’t insecurity, is it? He chews on his bottom lip waiting for Castiel to continue.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Dean, because I do. Unfortunately, it's hard for me to stow the deep-rooted fear of that happening again.”

Dean nods, “I understand that, Cas, and I don’t fault you for it.”

“I know you don’t,” he smiles, “I’m thankful for that, but it doesn’t excuse me giving that fear life and lashing out at you.” He inches up closer to Dean.

“That is exactly what Jimmy wants to happen. Make you doubt me.” That is the only thing that makes sense to Dean. Why else would Jimmy text him after seeing the two of them together? Sure, it could have been an innocent dinner with a friend, but Dean wasn’t being discreet with his affections toward Castiel that night. He didn’t stop when he found out Jimmy was there either. Dean pushes those thoughts aside. If he thinks about it long enough, he will only get angry again. There’s no point in it.      

“I’m aware of that,” Castiel says. “And I played into his game.” He moves closer, now sitting on the other side of Dean.

“So what do you suggest we do,” he asks, taking Castiel’s hand, their fingers intertwining. Dean rubs his thumb back and forth against his boyfriend’s hand.

“For one, we need to work through our insecurities.” Castiel moves his head enough to where he can look Dean in the eyes. “You need to work on not running when we have a disagreement.”

“Cas, I left because I didn’t want to say something I’d regret. I needed time to cool off, to get my head on straight. When someone questions my loyalty, it pisses me off.”

“That’s understandable. However, we do need to work on communication,” Castiel shifts over and leans his head on Dean’s shoulder.  

Dean smiles, and rests his head on top of his boyfriend’s, “I’ll try my best.”

“That’s all I ask,” the older man replies. “Now, what do you say we order room service and watch crappy movies on TV?”

Huffing a laugh, Dean presses a kiss to Castiel’s head. “Sounds like a plan.”

With that, Castiel crawls out of bed and places a call to order food. Then they curl up together on the bed; find a movie to watch while they wait. Dean doesn’t quite get into the storyline. He’s too busy thinking about their conversation. It’s true; they both have issues they need to work on. It won’t be easy, but Dean is confident they can work past this. Finally, room service brings their dinner. They sit together in silence, occasionally feeding each other off their plates since they both ordered something different. The intimacy of the act hits Dean again. It’s surprising how easy this is with Castiel, how right it feels. It makes Dean wonder why he waited so long to experience it with another person. However, he’s glad he waited; it makes this more special, meaningful. As their eyes meet over feeding each other bites of dessert, Dean realizes he can’t imagine his life without the man. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thoughts?  
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay. I'm thinking that there are 4 more chapters left of this story. We'll see, though. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters. My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.  
> 

Watching the sunrise in Nevada through the window of the hotel room is breathtaking; the deep, orange and yellows filling the sky, white clouds moving by slowly while stars start to hide for the day. Sitting on the padded bench seat in just a fluffy robe, Dean watches life move outside. Cars pass by on the street below, people are walking around just going about their day. In the quiet of the room, it’s hard not to think about what Castiel said the previous night about Dean being insecure, and as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, he knows there is some truth to it. He built walls up years ago; it was just his way of dealing with everything. Every time his heart got broken, stomped on, or thrown away, it made him never want to feel that pain again. He needed to make sure no one ever got close to him again. Damned if Castiel didn’t come along and break through, clawing against the blockade until it crumbled at his feet. The funny thing is, Castiel didn’t even have to try. It's as if the walls crashed down simply because of the man’s presence.

Some people may argue that Jimmy was able to do the same thing, but they would be wrong. Dean never saw Jimmy in his future when he tried to picture it. As much as it makes him feel like a dick, Jimmy was only there to ease the ache of being lonely. Castiel; however, he’s different. Dean can see the two of them building a life together. As cheesy as it sounds, Dean can picture them making a home together and a ton of kids running around. Castiel improves Dean’s life without trying; the man doesn’t expect him to change, but Dean wants to be better for Cas. In the two short months they’ve been together, Dean has cut back on drinking. He still has a couple beers throughout the day, or when friends come over, but his liquor intake has taken a massive decline.

He doesn’t need a bottle of Jack to put him to sleep after a long shift at work. All Dean needs is Castiel to wrap his arms around him in bed, and he drifts off.  Even while separated by distance, Castiel having to work, Dean slept better at night just knowing that man is his. No longer does he have that soul-crushing feeling of loneliness. He used to feel unworthy of love; now that’s no longer true, because, without a doubt, he knows Castiel loves him. For once in his life, Dean feels he deserves this, love from another person that’s not family, and it has everything to do with the man that’s still in bed asleep. The realization should scare the shit out of him, he’s only known the man five months after all, but Dean’s not scared. When he had thought they were broken up, he realized he was in love with Castiel. Last night only proved that even more. It was more than sex, it was intimacy, pure and earth shattering. Something Dean has never wanted, but now finds himself craving. Simply put, Castiel is not only Dean’s partner, he’s Dean’s best friend and soulmate.

Dean hears Castiel stir on the bed so he pushes himself off the seat, stripping the robe off to pool at his feet. Crawling in beside his love, he slots their bodies together, Castiel’s back to his chest. The warmth of the man relaxes him.

“Time is it?” Castiel asks, his voice still laced with sleep.

Dean nuzzles his nose against the hair at the base of Castiel’s head, “It’s early, babe, go back to sleep.”

Castiel twists around to press his chest against Dean’s, sliding his arm around the younger man’s waist. “You okay?” Even in a sleep state, Castiel worries about Dean.

“Yeah, I’m good, Cas.  Sleep,” Dean answers, his eyes slipping closed. “I’m okay.” He smiles because he knows there is truth to that. He honestly and truly is okay.

* * *

 

The following morning, they check out of the hotel and drive into Vegas, checking into a different hotel room. The last time Dean had been to Vegas was his twenty-first birthday.  Admittedly, he doesn’t remember much besides getting plastered and gambling excessively.

“I think we should go on a helicopter tour of the Hoover Dam and the city,” Castiel suggests as they eat breakfast at a small diner close to their hotel.

Dean makes sure he thoroughly chews and swallows before saying, “Have you met me? There’s no way in HELL I’m getting in a chopper.”

“Why not?” the older man asks, tilting his head to the side. He is fully aware of Dean’s phobia of airplane rides, but surely, he can convince him of this.

“A: it’s too expensive, and B: there’s no way I’m getting off the ground unless it’s a life or death emergency.”

“Air travel is significantly safer than traveling by car,” Castiel argues, rolling his eyes.

“It’s not happening, Cas.”

“I think you’d enjoy it once we got off the ground.” The older man bites his lip, “I’ll even blow you if we survive.”

Dean chokes on his orange juice and has to swallow a few times before he is able to speak. _“If_ we survive? IF? You really think-”

“I was joking, Dean. We don’t have to go, it was only a suggestion,” the man chuckles. Then it’s as if Dean is watching a light bulb go off, reflecting in those blue eyes. “Oh, Inias texted me earlier and asked if we would like to join him and his wife for dinner tonight.”

Shoving a piece of bacon in his mouth, Dean asks, “Inias is married?”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, Dean,” Castiel admonishes, shaking his head, but a smile is firmly in place. “And yes, he is. Have you not paid attention when I’ve talked about him?”

“I’m too poor to pay attention,” Dean teases, a slight blush creeps across his cheeks, “I do listen, I just don’t always remember.”

“I think you have selective hearing,” Castiel groans, his eyes flicking to the ceiling. “What am I going to do with you?”

“I have a few things in mind,” Dean answers with a smirk as he leans closer into the booth. His warm breath is against the shell of the older man’s ear, “Me on my knees sounds good right about now.”  

“You’re insatiable,” Castiel accuses.

“Yes,” Dean agrees with a little hum, “but you enjoy every minute of it.”

Castiel starts sliding across the bench seat, forcing Dean to move so they can stand up. “You, Dean Winchester, will be the death of me.” He grabs Dean’s hand after throwing money down on the table to cover the bill and the tip, “but what a fucking way to go.”  

* * *

They arrive promptly at seven-thirty that night in front of Inias’ house. It’s a two-story house on Venetian Hills Lane, a nice residential area in the city. Well-manicured lawns and bushes surround every house on the block. Castiel slips out of the car and waits for Dean to walk around, then tangles their fingers together as they walk up the driveway. “Are you nervous?”

“Not really, Cas, should I be?” Dean’s eyebrow arches in question.

The older man chuckles, “I’ve known Inias for a while now. Don’t be surprised if he gives you the whole ‘if you hurt him, I’ll kill you’ speech.”

“Not like I haven’t sat through one of those, more than once,” Dean replies with a smile.

Castiel rolls his eyes and knocks on the door. There are only a couple breaths before the door opens with a beautiful blonde woman standing on the other side. She wraps her arms around Castiel and pulls him in for a hug, placing a kiss on his cheek. The entire time, Dean still has ahold of his hand. When the woman releases her hold on Castiel, she turns her light blue eyes on Dean. “You must be Dean. We’ve heard so much about you. I’m Rachel.” 

She reaches out to shake his hand; however, Dean lifts it to his lips and brushes a light kiss on it, “Nice to meet you, Rachel.”

“Likewise.”  Rachel huffs a soft laugh. “Charming man you have here, Castiel. Please, come in.”

The three walk into the house, Rachel leading the way to the dining room. The table is already set with food waiting for them. The room is large, decorated with several paintings that Dean can’t identify, but is sure they are expensive. When Inias joins them, the four adults take a seat, Dean sitting across from Castiel. Conversation over dinner is light; Rachel asks what Dean does for a living, and how the two of them met, although he’s sure Castiel has already told them he answers her. The food is delicious, and Dean compliments Rachel more than a few times. Inias smiles proudly, squeezing his wife’s hand and in a playful tone says that’s why he married her, only to receive a smack on his arm by Rachel. Once they finish eating, the four moves into the living room.

Dean and Castiel sit down on the couch, Dean’s left hand resting lightly on his boyfriend’s thigh.  Rachel and Inias sit across from them on a chaise lounge. Dean takes in the room; family pictures hang on the walls in various places. The room is spacious, but a feeling of warmth and love radiate. The rest of the night is filled with little stories of Inias and Castiel’s college days. Most of them Dean is sure are supposed to embarrass his boyfriend, but the man doesn’t blink or blush. Castiel just laughs and adds more to the memories. Inias apparently decides to up his game, and tells them of the time a very drunk Castiel ran down the street in front of their frat house, nude.

“If I recall correctly, I wasn’t the only one naked on that run,” Castiel flicks his eyes to his friend. “As a matter of fact, it was your idea, Inias. You wanted to impress Hael.”

Inias looks to the right, recalling the memory, “Oh, yes, that’s right. Well, it worked.”

Castiel shakes his head, “Indeed it did.”

“What I wouldn’t give to be that young again, but not make the same mistakes,” Inias muses. “Is there anything you would go back and change, Castiel?”

“You know, I can honestly say there isn’t.” Castiel’s eyes flick to Dean’s face. “All of that lead me to where I need to be.”

Dean bites his lip because he knows his boyfriend means that there is a chance that had things happened differently, their paths might never have crossed.

“When did you become such a sap, Castiel?” Rachel asks, smiling at both of them.

Castiel scoffs, “I’m not a sap.”

“You are, but I’m starting to like it,” Dean replies, leaning over and pecking the older man on the lips. 

Rachel tells the story of how she met Inias two weeks after the drunken run, and that they have been together ever since. The two had a long engagement and married in Paris while Castiel was living in the country. Dean smiles and leans closer to Castiel’s side. The man’s body heat surrounds him when Castiel places his arm around Dean. Castiel’s fingers run through the hair at the nape of Dean’s neck as they continue making small talk.

After an hour, Castiel must realize that Dean is tired because the man decides to call it a night. They say their goodbyes with promises that the couple will travel out to Texas and visit as soon as possible. Both men walk out to the Impala and slide in. Castiel kisses Dean before he starts the engine and turns around to head back to their hotel.

As they drive, Dean flicks his eyes over at Castiel, “So, I wasn’t threatened by Inias. Does that mean he approves?” 

“Possibly,” Cas answers, “or he’s just waiting for the right time to do so.”   

“And when would that be…?”

Castiel huffs a laugh, “Probably when he decides to talk you into taking a trip out to an excavation site.”

Dean turns into the hotel parking lot and puts the car into park. He looks over at his boyfriend, “Why would he wait until then?”

“So he can prove that he knows how to hide a body,” Castiel replies casually, shooting Dean a smile and then sliding out of the car and into the night air.

Dean climbs out, locks the door, and then walks to catch up with the older man. “How would that prove anything? You recover old artifacts.”

They walk into the elevator, Castiel hitting the button for their floor. “True, but we have to dig to get to those; sometimes digging several feet down, in remote locations where law enforcement hardly travels.”

Swallowing with a click, Dean walks out of the elevator behind his boyfriend and waits while the man unlocks their door. “Remind me not to piss him off,” he says, closing the door behind them.

Castiel laughs as he pulls his henley off over his head. “I doubt you have anything to worry about, Baby,” he says and then steps forward, peeling Dean’s shirt off his body. “Now, if I remember correctly, and I do, you said something about wanting to be on your knees.”

Dean laughs softly, his hands traveling over the soft skin of his boyfriend. “Now who’s the one that’s insatiable?”

* * *

They wake up early Thursday morning after deciding the previous night to head home early. They had a great mini vacation filled with memories they will keep, but are looking forward to relaxing at home. After several hours on the road, Dean looks over and notices Castiel watching the night fly by through the window, their hands still tangled together on the seat between them.  Between the rain falling outside and the roar of the Impala, a peaceful feeling settles around Dean. The station he’s listening to goes in and out, so he reaches over in search of something that comes in clearly, and comes across a country station. He isn’t a big fan of country, but Clint Black, Randy Travis, and a few others aren’t so bad. The song ends and another begins softly. Once Dean realizes it’s one he recognizes, a smile crosses his face. A memory of him standing in his kitchen singing this song and Castiel leaning against the wall listening to him comes back to him. The words Clint Black is singing soak in; he finds them speaking to him in a way they never have before.

 _I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you._  
Every thunder cloud that came was one more I might not get through.  
On the darkest day, there's always light and now I see it too, but I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you.  
I hear it falling in the night and filling up my mind.  
All the heaven's rivers come to light I see it all unwind. I hear it talking through the trees and on the windowpane.  
When I hear it, I just can't believe I never liked the rain.

Castiel’s grip on his hand tightens a little and the man looks over at him. As the song goes into the chorus, Dean starts singing along. He switches his eyes between the road and back to his boyfriend, keeping his focus on the older man for as long as he can to get the meaning behind the words across to Castiel.  He’s not just singing these lyrics for the hell of it, he’s trying to tell Castiel how he feels in the best way he can.  

Like the rain, I have fallen for you and I know just why you.  
Like the rain always calling for you, I'm falling for you now, just like the rain.  
When the cloud is rolling over thunder striking me, it's as bright as lightning and I wonder why I couldn't see.  
That it's always good and the flood is gone we still remain.  
Guess I've known all along, I just belong here with you falling.   
And when the night falls on our better days and we're looking to the sky, for the winds to take us high above the plains.  
I know that we'll find better ways to look into the eye, of the storms that will be calling, forever we'll be falling…

Dean pulls over on the side of the road, unbuckles himself, and moves closer to Castiel, his hands cupping the man’s face. He waits until the chorus begins again, then he leans in and whispers in the space between them, his warm breath against the older man’s lips. “Like the rain, I have fallen for you and I know just why you like the rain, always calling for you, I'm falling for you now. Just like the rain.” He watches as tears well up in the blue eyes that stare back at him. “I'm falling for you now just like the rain.” Their lips meet in a soft kiss that burns with passion, but lust fueled. Castiel moves his tongue across Dean’s lips and he opens for the older man, their tongues sliding together, tasting each other. 

Castiel breaks the kiss as the song ends and leans his forehead against Dean’s, “Me too, Dean, me too.”

Another quick kiss and Dean pulls back, settles behind the wheel, and heads back on the road. Once they cross the state line into New Mexico, he finds a motel to stay at for the night.  They’ve been on the road for about eleven hours, and both men are tired from sitting that long. They check in and decide to walk across the street to a small diner to grab something quick to take back to their room.

“This is the life,” Dean comments as they sit on opposite sides of the bed with their food.

“What is?”

“Eating cheeseburgers and fries in bed. It doesn’t get much better than that.”

Castiel huffs a laugh and throws a French fry at Dean’s head, “I beg to differ.”

“Differ all you want to, Cas,” Dean replies, smiling, “it doesn’t make it any less true.”

“As long as I have you, I don’t care where we are, or what we’re doing.”

“Such a sap,” Dean accuses.

“Yeah, but you love me.” 

A comfortable silence surrounds them while they eat. Dean crumples up his wrapper and tosses it into the small trashcan in the room. Castiel’s words replay in a loop in Dean’s ears, and he can’t stop himself. He knows he loves the man; he’s just never been able to vocalize those kinds of emotions. “Cas, here's the deal.”

Castiel turns his blue eyes on Dean, and as much as Dean loves staring into them, it’s just a bit too much for what he has to say. He stands up and walks over to the small table, keeping his back turned to his boyfriend. “Dean?”

“Just listen, Cas, because I’m not good with this stuff, so it’s pretty much going to be word vomit.” Dean’s places his hand on the back of his neck, rubbing it.  “When you left the last time, I thought that was it. I thought you left, and I was never going to see you again. That ache and emptiness are something I never want to feel, ever again, in my life. I was scared, so scared that I had lost you.” Dean finally turns back around and notices Castiel watching him with rapt attention. “I can't do that again, Cas. I can’t.”

Dean can see confusion flicker across Castiel’s face. “So what are you saying, Dean?

Running a hand down his mouth, Dean flicks his eyes to the ground and continues, “I'm saying... What I'm saying is… stay.” His eyes come back up to focus on his boyfriend. “Stay with me... for the rest of our lives.”

It would almost be amusing to Dean, watching Castiel’s eyes go wide, but Dean means every word he’s saying. Castiel gets up and walks across the floor, his hand cups Dean’s face. “Dean? Dean, did you just?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, thoughts?
> 
> Song: Like the Rain - Clint Black
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the Supernatural characters. My "original" characters are sometimes based on people but, their backstories are complete works of fiction.
> 
> So I'm super nervous about this chapter, and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did while writing it. Two more chapters and an epilogue should complete this. It's been such a wonderful journey and I could have done it without y'all. 
> 
> Thank you, Melanie, for looking over this for me.  
> Monica - for everything you have done as well.  
> Shawnie - for being an amazing editor as always.  
> My readers - because you friggin rock!
> 
>  

“Dean? Dean, did you just?” Castiel’s voice is a mixture of confused, terrified, and hopeful all at once. His warm hands cupping Dean’s face, his thumb brushing along Dean’s cheekbones, grounds Dean in the moment.

Dean realizes what he said could be misconstrued as a marriage proposal, and while he can’t imagine his life without Cas, it’s way too soon for that. He swallows thickly, making sure to think of what he says before he says it. God knows he has a track record of putting his foot in his mouth at the most inopportune times. Taking a deep breath, Dean reaches up and moves Castiel’s hands off his face, but entwines their fingers together. “I’m not asking you to marry me, Cas.” Well, hell, he could have worded that better, but it’s a little too late to rethink what he said. He braces himself, watching several emotions flit across his boyfriend’s face. What settles looks a lot like relief; he bites his bottom lip for a moment, “Why do you look so relieved, Cas?”

The older man chuckles a bit, although Dean is sure it’s from the emotional rollercoaster he just witnessed the man go on. “I’m relieved that I don’t have to find a way to let you down gently.”  Castiel must see something in Dean’s eyes that he’s not even aware is showing, because he quickly follows with, “Not that I would be opposed to it later. In all honestly, it’s too soon right now; we both know that.”

Dean nods, thanking the higher power upstairs silently; one has to exist because this is actually working in his favor. “I can’t argue with that.” Dropping one of Castiel’s hands, he leads the man over to sit down on the bed so they are facing each other. “What I was trying to say, though,” his fingers pulling at a string on the bed, “is there isn’t a moment I want to walk through my life without you.” The words come out in a rush, but Dean hopes they convey that he is serious about what he is saying. “Think of it as a promise of a future proposal.”

“I like that.” Castiel smiles so big the corners of his eyes crinkle, and damn it, Dean finds that adorable. “And you accuse me of being a sap?”

“Shuddup you heathen,” Dean retorts with a smile of his own. “What can I say? You bring out the best in me. Even the mushy side I didn’t know I had.” He pulls Castiel closer to him, their lips brushing in a chaste kiss. “Now, let’s stop all the mushiness before we wind up doing each other’s hair and painting our nails.”

“Why do you do that?” Castiel asks, pulling back a little to look at Dean’s face. “Always associate expressing feelings with women?” 

Dean chews his bottom lip, “I don’t-”

“You do, Dean,” Castiel interrupts him. “We may be men, but that doesn’t mean we’re not allowed to have emotions and express them.”

Dean scoots up the bed so his back is resting against the headboard. “I know that.” He’s rethinking the whole thanking a higher power thing because, damn, this _would_ turn into a fight. Just when things start going smoothly, the other shoe has to drop.

“Do you?” Castiel tilts his head to the side, “I’m not trying to start a fight, Dean, I’m just saying you don’t have to be ashamed of how you feel.”

“I’m not ashamed,” Dean counters; then sighs and runs a hand over his mouth. “I may have lost my dad when I was ten, but that was still long enough for him to condition me in a certain way. Boys don’t cry, they don’t whine, and they damn sure don’t talk about their feelings.”

Castiel drops his head, staring at the pattern on the blanket. “I wasn’t trying to push, Dean, I was just saying-”

“I know what you were saying, Cas,” Dean’s voice is soft in an attempt to soothe. “Fuck. I’m just explaining why this is hard for me. Dad was a good man; he supported our family, and was attentive in the best way he knew how. He was raised a military brat, though, and joined the service himself. So he raised us that way.”

Nodding his head, Castiel stands up and takes off his shirt, then sits down between Dean’s legs, resting his back against Dean’s chest. “I understand, Dean.” Silence falls between them, Dean’s not aware of how long they sit there quietly. Castiel seems to be lost in his own thoughts and that’s fine with Dean; he can wait until the man is ready to speak.

“My dad-” Castiel begins, “looking back on everything that happened when I was younger, I guess he was a good man. Well, he was a good man, but extremely distant; some would say cold, even. My mother was the same way; I can’t even recall a time that she was ever nurturing. I always wanted to please them when I was younger, though. I excelled in all of my classes, attempting to prove my worth.”

Dean kisses the top of Castiel’s head, remaining silent; it’s not often that his boyfriend talks about his parents.

“Jimmy, he was the nurturing one,” Castiel swallows and breathes deeply. The sound breaks Dean’s heart because he can hear the pain in the man’s voice. “I never had to prove anything to him; he loved me regardless. He always picked me up when I fell, a constant presence at my side when I was afraid of the dark. He stood by me when I came out to our parents, defended me against them, even though he didn’t admit he was gay himself.” His words stop and he tilts his head to the side, “I can remember scraping my knee after falling off my bike; do you know who cleaned me up?”

“Jimmy?” Dean finds himself asking, even though he’s already sure that is the answer.

“We were six at the time. I cried, not because I fell, but I was sure Mother would be angry with me for ruining my clothes. My brother picked me up off the ground, wiped my tears away, and then led me into the house. Mother was busy with one of her many projects, organizing an event for one the local charities no doubt.” Castiel readjusts the way he’s sitting, his head now resting on Dean’s shoulder. “We went into the bathroom and Jimmy found the bandages, cleaned the wound the best he could, and then patched me up. After that, we walked into our room and I changed my jeans. Once that was done, Jimmy hid my pants so our mother would never find them.”     

“You miss him?” It wasn’t really a question. Dean is fully aware that Castiel misses his brother regardless of what has happened between the two men. Even though the man rarely mentions Jimmy’s name, there are times Castiel will be lost in thought and it’s obvious to Dean who the man is thinking of. Dean doesn’t know what he would do if he and Sam were in their shoes.  It’s a foreign concept to him, one that boggles his mind. He wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, wanting to comfort and be as supportive as he can. 

“Fuck. I do,” Castiel answers him softly. “People may think that I shouldn’t, with all the pain he’s caused, but he’s my twin. There’s a connection there that I can’t explain.  We didn’t have our own language they way some do, but with just a few facial expressions, we could hold a conversation. We knew when the other was hurt, could feel each other’s emotions. Your relationship with Sam is much like how we were.”

“That has to be hard for you, Cas. I can’t imagine not having Sam around.”

“On the contrary; it’s refreshing to see. Just because my relationship with my brother is, well, nonexistent doesn’t mean I can’t handle seeing yours with Sam. Plus, it helps that Sam has been a pseudo brother to me.”

“A wise man once told me, family doesn’t end with blood. It doesn’t start there either,” Dean says, his fingers softly drawing patterns on Castiel’s arms. “We’re your family, Cas. That will never change. You’re stuck with us.”

“I don’t know if that is a good or a bad thing,” Castiel teases, huffing a small laugh when he feels Dean’s teeth nip at his neck.

“It’s not too late to back out.” It’s a joke, but even the mere thought of Castiel leaving makes Dean’s stomach clench.

Castiel’s head moves back enough to where Dean can see the man’s eyes. “That’s not happening.”

“Good answer.” Dean leans down and brushes their lips together. “You know, I’ll have your back with whatever you decide to do about Jimmy.”

A soft smile and another kiss are the only answer Dean receives; he must have said the right thing. Castiel looks at the clock hanging on the wall. Dean winces when he sees how late it is, they need to be up in a few hours to get back on the road. They both seem to be on the same page because Castiel moves and grabs his pajama bottoms from his duffel bag. Dean does the same and they meet in bed, Dean turning off the small table lamp, surrounding them in darkness. He pulls Castiel to where his boyfriend’s head is resting on his chest. Just before he drifts off to sleep, he hears a soft ‘thank you’ from Castiel. Dean kisses him on the top of his head, “You’re welcome, babe.”

* * *

* * *

Dean unlocks the apartment, his duffel bag feels like it weighs a ton, and all he wants to do is crawl into his bed and sleep for two days straight. Three hours of sleep and nine hours on the road is exhausting.  Damn, he really is getting old. He walks into the living room and stops short, causing Castiel to smack into his back. “What the fuck, Dean?” Castiel has been cranky the entire trip home, only napping in spurts.

Checking his phone, Dean sees that it’s definitely not time for Sam to be home, but his brother is sitting on the couch. That wouldn’t be odd in and of itself; however, Lynn is sitting with him. They both look nervous when their eyes finally meet his. “Okay,” Dean starts slowly, finally able to get his feet moving in the direction of the kitchen, “whatever you two have to say, I’m going to need, at least, two cups of coffee first.”

The mention of coffee seems to perk Castiel up a bit, and he grabs Dean’s bag off his shoulder and takes their stuff into their room. The man comes back out, sits down at the table, laying his head down on his arms while Dean tends to the coffee maker. Thankfully, it doesn’t take long and the room fills with the rich aroma. Castiel only lifts his head when Dean places a mug in front of him. Either Castiel doesn’t feel the tension in the room, or he’s ignoring it. Knowing his boyfriend, Dean would bet it is the latter. Leaning against the counter, Dean drains one cup and starts on a second.  During all of this, no one speaks and the silence is setting Dean’s already frayed nerves on edge. He refills Castiel’s cup, pushes himself off the counter, and takes the chair next Castiel. Dean points at Lynn and Sam, “You two, table, now.” When both of them sit down, Dean opens with, “So,” hoping his brother will take it from there.

Sam clears his throat, takes Lynn’s hand and then looks at Dean. “Well, we wanted to wait until you both were rested, but we decided we couldn’t.” He looks at Lynn, smiles, and says, “We’re getting married.”

Yeah, for some reason Dean doesn’t buy it.  He believes they are getting married, but people are generally happy about that. These two look like they’ve lost their best friend. Marriage is something both of them have been talking about for a while, so the way they are shifting in their seats doesn’t compute in Dean’s brain. He’s just beginning to think that no one else is going to say anything when his boyfriend breaks the silence.

“I don’t know if I should say congratulations, or offer my condolences,” Castiel says, and then drains the rest of his hot beverage. Dean snorts while both Lynn and Sam throw matching bitch faces at the older man. “What? You two look like you were given a death sentence instead of sharing a joyous announcement.”

Dean gets up, refills Castiel’s cup again, and then slides it in front of the man. “Cas, drink your coffee.” He turns his attention back to the lovely couple, “So what gives? Shouldn’t we be celebrating your happiness or some shit like that?”

A small smile lifts the corner of Sam’s lips, “Yeah, of course.” There is still something off with his brother. His voice is shaky, hesitant even. Dean can tell he’s holding back.

Leaning forward, resting his elbows on the table, Dean levels his brother with a glare.  “Would you just spit it out, Sam.  There is obviously something else you want to say.”

“She’s pregnant, Dean,” Castiel says, not even looking up from his cup, his hands still holding onto the damn thing like it’s a lifeline. “Instead of just coming out with it, they’re acting like teenagers who have committed a carnal sin.”

“How did you know?” Sam blurts out, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline. Lynn snickers and pats him on the arm.

“It’s not rocket science, Sam. Lynn’s right hand has been resting against her stomach the entire time.” Castiel answers, finally looking more awake.

“Why would that be a bad thing?” Dean asks, looking at Sam.

Castiel shrugs, and offers, “Dean, you’ve been a father figure to Sam since he was six. Your brother feels that this would disappoint you for some ridiculous reason.”

Dean’s eyes flick to Lynn, his eyes softening as he asks, “You’re pregnant?”

She nods in response, not taking her eyes off Dean. “I am.”

The whoop that comes from Dean is loud enough to make his brother jump in response. “Hot damn, Sammy! I’m gonna be an uncle!” He stands up and walks over to Lynn, pulling her up from her seat. Wrapping his arms around the woman, Dean spins her before placing her back on her feet. Dean reaches over and ruffles Sam’s hair, which really needs to be cut, but he lets it go for now. “We’re gonna be uncles, Cas!”

“Brilliant deduction, Sherlock,” Castiel replies sarcastically, but his grin is so wide, it makes the corner of his eyes crinkle.

Dean smiles at him, obviously proud of himself, “Thanks, Watson.”

Castiel rolls his eyes as he stands up and walks over to Lynn.  He places a kiss on the top of her head and says congratulations.

“So, you’re happy, Dean?” Sam asks.

“Of course I am,” Dean answers, slapping his younger brother on his back. “Another Winchester will be running around, kicking ass, and taking names.” He throws his arm around his brother, “Shotgun wedding, Winchester style,” Dean announces. The four of them laugh, the tension in the air finally dissolving.

* * *

Later that night Dean slips into bed, resting his back against the headboard and he finds himself wishing his parents were still alive. The first Winchester grandchild will never meet them, nor will any that follow. It makes his heart ache just thinking about it. He knows Mary would have been over the moon with the news, planning both a baby and a wedding shower. She would pick out colors for the nursery that would be bright and vibrant, just like she was. His dad would strip the paint from the crib that they bought for Dean and passed down to Sam when he was born. Mary would give helpful advice to Lynn and would love her soon-to-be daughter-in-law with all her heart. She would wear Lynn out on shopping trips, no doubt.  The thought makes Dean chuckle softly, even though it hurts. It’s not fair that they are not here to share in the happiness of the occasion.

Castiel walks into the bedroom, sliding in beside Dean on the bed.  He pulls the younger man into his arms. “Hey, what’s on your mind?”  

“Just thinking about my parents,” Dean answers. “They should be here for this.”

“I’m sure they were here in some way or another,” Castiel replies, dropping a kiss on Dean’s head. “I know they’re happy.”

Dean looks up at his boyfriend and smiles, “Yeah? You think so?”

“Of course,” Castiel smiles softly, and then pulls the blankets up to their waists. “I also know they are proud of you both.”

“You have a direct line to Heaven or something, Cas?” Dean asks, arching an eyebrow.

Castiel huffs a laugh, “Yeah, I like to call it angel radio.”

“Oh, does that mean you’re an angel?”

They both settle into bed to where Dean is on his side, his back pressed against Castiel’s chest. He won’t admit it to anyone, but he secretly loves being the little spoon. “Well, if I am an angel, then I’m a fallen one.”

“Why is that?” It’s times like these, the small things that Dean’s come to live for. The man’s ability to make him feel better when he needed it the most is just another reason Dean loves him.

“I fell for you, of course,” Castiel answers like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.     

“Oh my God,” Dean manages to huff out through his laughter.  His whole body quakes, making the bed shake slightly with him. “That is the cheesiest shit you’ve ever said, babe. You’ve really outdone yourself.”  He breaks out in laughter again, which seems to make Castiel join right along with him.  Nothing like comic relief to ground Dean in the present.

After they calm down, catch their breath until it evens out and their heart rates return to normal, Castiel slings his arm around Dean’s waist. “Yeah, but you love me,” he says, kissing the back of Dean’s neck.

“That I do, Cas.” Dean snuggles back closer to his boyfriend, letting his eyes slip closed and the silence bring sleep that much closer. He’s happy to be home, in his own bed with his boyfriend. The fact that Sam is getting married to a great girl and they are going to have a baby is the icing on the cake. As sleep takes him under, Dean’s last thoughts are of the fact everything in his life has finally clicked into place.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Bites nails nervously* 
> 
>    
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a real chapter :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to apologize for this taking so long. Life got in the way and sometimes I would sit at my laptop and just stare at a blank document. I just couldn't force it. That would be a half-assed job and y'all deserve the best. I hope this was well worth the wait. One more chapter and then the epilogue. If you were subscribed to me under my old name, make sure to subscribe to this one.   
> Monica, thank you so much for betaing this for me!!  
> My readers - you're amazing!!
> 
> A/N: The first part of this chapter is just a few days into February. The second part it's May, I forgot to write it in. 
> 
>  
> 
> Warning for rimming, it's not very detailed, though.  
> 

The apartment door opens, the sounds of footsteps, a bag dropping on the floor and the door shutting fill the apartment. Dean’s eyes remain closed, even when he feels his boyfriend’s presence beside him.

“Hey, Cas,” he greets with a slow smile. When all he gets is a sigh from the older man, he decides to crack open one eye, “Long day, babe?” he asks from where he’s sprawled out on the couch.

Castiel just groans in response before he straddles Dean’s waist and lowers himself on top of Dean. “I missed you.”

Dean presses a kiss on the top of his boyfriend’s head. “I missed you, too.”

“Remind me again why I agreed to give a presentation on archaeology at the university?”

Dean wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s back. “From what I remember, you said you would _love_ to share your experience with aspiring archeologists.”

“They’re all so young, though.”

“They’re not young,” Dean says, his tone playful, “you’re just old.” He jumps when Castiel’s fingers bite into his sides.

“I’m _not_ old,” Castiel hisses.

“Of course not, baby,” Dean grins even though his boyfriend can’t see him. “I’m twenty-eight now, so that would make you, what? Forty?”

“Do I fuck like a forty-year-old?”

“I dunno, babe, I can’t say I’ve fucked someone who was forty. That I remember, at least.”  

“You’re an _asshole_ ,” Castiel growls as he sits up and attempts to move away, but Dean grabs his hips, holding him in place.

“I’m only teasing, babe.” Dean’s hands pull at Castiel’s shirt that’s tucked into his slacks.

“I’m only four years older than you, Dean,” his boyfriend points out.

“I know,” Dean agrees as his fingers start pulling at the buttons of Castiel’s shirt. “Let me make it up to you.”

“What do you have in mind?” the older man asks as he allows his shirt to slide off his shoulders. Dean moves his hands up and across Castiel’s chest.

“Well, I could jack you off,” Dean says as he rolls his hips up. “I could blow you. Or you can open me up slowly and fuck me.” He sits up and kisses the older man’s stomach, smiling when he looks up and watches Castiel’s pupils dilate. “You choose, baby. It’s all good for me.”

Leaning forward, Castiel nips at Dean’s bottom lip and then chastely kisses them.  “My choice, huh?” He trails his lips across Dean’s jaw up to the shell of Dean’s ear and whispers, “So I can have _anything_ I want?”

“Anything,” Dean answers his boyfriend. A groan escapes him when Castiel bites his earlobe. “Anything you want, Cas.”

Castiel sits up, smiling down at Dean, “I want to eat.”

“Seriously?” Dean frowns because that isn’t the answer he expected.

“You said anything I want, Dean.” The older man moves off him and stands up. “That’s what I want.”

“Okay,” Dean responds. His voice has an edge of frustration, but he gets up and turns to walk into the kitchen. “What’re you hungry for?”

“You.”

Dean stops in his tracks, shivering a bit at the tone of Castiel’s voice; he swears it dropped an octave. He turns around and watches his boyfriend walk to their bedroom. “Strip while I get what we need. I want you on your knees, chest against the back of the couch, by the time I get back. Can you do that for me?”

“Uh,” Dean manages as his brain finally gets back on track and starts taking off his clothes. “Yes.”

Castiel stops, looks over his shoulder, and arches his eyebrow, “Yes?”

“Yes, Sir.” Castiel hums in approval and disappears out sight. Dean immediately unbuttons and shimmies out of his jeans. His boxers follow to pool at his feet and he steps out of them. Dean yanks off his t-shirt, then walks over to the couch and gets into position, resting his head between his arms on the back of the couch and closes his eyes to wait for Castiel. As much as Dean loves when they make love, he enjoys the dirty, rough side to their sex life as well. Sounds of shuffling come from their room, and then goosebumps break out and race down his body when he hears his boyfriend enter the room.

Dean feels a warm hand press against his back and slide down his spine. “So beautiful, Dean.” Wet, slightly chapped lips kiss at his neck and trail down to his shoulder. “You are gorgeous, baby,” Castiel whispers against Dean’s skin as his lips move down his back, teeth nipping in different places along the way.

“Oh, fuck,” Dean moans as Castiel sucks a bruise right under his ribs.

“Yes, all in good time, my sweet boy. Patience.”

“Easy for you to say, Cas,” Dean says between moans, “you’re not the one getting teased.”

In response, Dean feels Castiel’s teeth bite down before his boyfriend's tongue licks down and laves at his tailbone. “Do I have to restrict you from speaking, Dean?”

“No, no, I’ll be good,” Dean pants.

“Good boy.” All thoughts of saying anything else effectively die when the older man starts out with slow, broad licks with the flat of his tongue against Dean’s entrance. There is a pop of a cap opening and then something cold hits his heated skin, and Dean winces a bit. He moves his head just enough to catch the scent of strawberry flavored lube, and Dean smiles before Castiel’s tongue returns and starts circling his hole. A groan escapes Dean’s throat, and he drops his head back down to the cushion when Castiel starts licking inside him. They don’t do this often, and it leaves Dean a little lightheaded.

Dean doesn’t know how long he remains knelt on the couch, just that it’s long enough for him to break out in a fine sweat.  His boyfriend continues to fuck into him with both his tongue and a finger. Dean pushes back against Castiel's face as the man adds a second lubed finger in beside the other. The older man pulls back as he twists his long digits inside him. Dean knows Castiel’s watching how Dean’s body arches and trembles each time Castiel brushes against his prostate.

“More,” Dean hears himself say as he rocks back, his hands clinging to the back of the couch. “Give me more. I can take it.”

His boyfriend obliges and slips a third finger inside; the burn from the stretch is welcomed, grounding him in the moment. Dean’s leg muscles tighten as he forces himself back harder, wanting to feel as much as he can, but even with the pressure against his prostate, it’s simply not enough. He wants Castiel deep inside him, but on his terms. Dean wants to control the depth, the movement. So he speaks up, “Babe, I need you.” He moves forward enough to pull himself off Castiel’s fingers. “Sit down.”

Castiel laughs softly as he smacks Dean on the ass and does as he’s told. Dean wastes no time in straddling his boyfriend’s lap, thankful that Castiel stripped before coming back into the living room. He takes the bottle of lube, slicks up the older man’s cock and then lowers himself down, his back facing Castiel.  He’s not open enough, not really, but he doesn’t care. All that is on his mind right now is how Castiel fills him, the delicious stretch of his body accommodating his boyfriend’s cock. He takes a deep breath and continues working his way down until his ass meets Castiel’s thighs. It’s two maybe three heartbeats before he thinks he can move, and move he does.

He rolls his body as he reaches back to grab Castiel’s hands, placing them on his hips. Dean doesn’t let go as he starts a slow pace, rocking back on the older man’s lap. The almost pornographic sounds Castiel is making along with the slap of sweat-slick skin on skin is like music to his ears. Looking over his shoulder, Dean gives Castiel a grin, and that’s all the warning he gives. Dean moves his body up to where the tip of his boyfriend’s dick remains inside him and then slams back down.

He sets a brutal pace, timing every other movement to slide along his prostate. Dean leans back so Castiel’s chest presses up against him and finally releases his boyfriend’s hands. The older man wraps one arm around his waist; reaches down and begins to roll Dean’s balls in his hand. “Mmm, baby, you’re so beautiful like this,” Castiel moans.

Dean cranes his head back and kisses the side of Castiel’s head as his boyfriend’s free hand moves to his chest; holding Dean’s hot body against his sweat-covered one.

“Oh, fuck, Cas,” Dean pants, his cock leaking against his stomach. “Harder, I need-”

“I’ve got you, babe, I know what you need,” Castiel whispers, as his other hand moves up and wraps firmly around Dean’s cock. The other man’s strokes sync with every shift of Dean’s hips. “Are you going to come for me?”

“Yes, fuck yes,” Dean lowers himself up and down on Castiel’s cock faster, and it’s almost too much, each movement filling him up and driving his cock into Castiel’s fist.

“Fuck, I don’t, Dean. I’m not sure how long I can last.” Castiel's teeth bite down on Dean’s shoulder and then his tongue swipes across the abused flesh. “You feel so good, baby.”

Dean’s pace grows frantic, chasing his release as heat starts curling low in his stomach. His head drops back; all he can feel is his boyfriend surrounding him. Castiel’s breath is hot and wet on the back of Dean’s neck, his arms holding Dean close.

“So close, Dean, fuck,” Castiel moans as he thrusts up, meeting Dean’s downward movement. Dean’s hips start to stutter as he reaches that edge. “Come with me,” the older man growls.

“Cas, fuck, Castiel,” Dean’s orgasm hits him, his body going rigid as he comes over his boyfriend’s hand. Only two more thrusts inside him and Castiel’s coming, chanting Dean’s name like a mantra.   

Dean goes boneless in the older man’s arms, and Castiel moves them into a more comfortable position. They trade lazy kisses, breathing into each other while they attempt to get their heart rates to return to normal. Castiel wiggles free from Dean, grabs the wet wipes on the floor and starts cleaning them up.

“Best investment ever,” Dean says tiredly, his eyes drooping against his will. “Now there’s no fighting over who has to get a rag.”

Castiel chuckles, “There was never any fighting over that.”

“That’s because I have the best boyfriend ever. Always willing to get one before he’s asked.”

“Well, that’s because you’re too lazy to move for at least twenty minutes after sex, Dean.”

 “Hey! I resemble that remark.”

Castiel tosses the wipes in the trash after cleaning himself up; he lies back on the couch and pulls Dean closer to him. “Yes, you do. I love you anyway.”

When the blanket from the back of the coach drapes over them; Dean sighs and nuzzles closer to his boyfriend. “I love you too, babe.”

They lay there in the quiet of the apartment; the only sound is their breathing, as Castiel draws patterns on Dean’s skin with his fingers. “Ready for a nap?” the older man asks, breaking the silence after a few minutes. 

“Shit, I wish. I have a shift tonight.” Dean moves his head back and kisses his boyfriend softly on the lips. “Wanna join me in the shower?”

“Is that even a question?”

Dean smiles as he pushes himself up and off the couch. It’s a good thing they have the apartment to themselves now; he’s sure Sam wouldn’t appreciate them walking around in the nude. When he notices that Castiel isn’t following him he stops, turns around and leans against the wall. “We can have a little fun before we get clean. Unless you’re afraid of breaking a hip.”

Castiel stands up from the couch and starts walking slowly in Dean’s direction, “Oh, you’re dead.”

“Bring it, old man,” Dean calls out as he takes off running for the bathroom with Castiel sprinting after him.  He makes it inside the door, but his boyfriend grabs his shoulder, spinning him around and crowds him up against the wall. 

“You think you’re cute, don’t you?” Castiel asks as he boxes Dean in with him arms.

Dean gives his boyfriend a shit-eating grin, “I think I’m adorable.”

* * *

The day is nice; the scent of spring is in the air, and a cool breeze blows out in the open. Dean’s sweating near the open flame of a grill as he stands in Sam’s backyard. It’s become a tradition to get together and have a cookout every other weekend since Sam moved. Their house was a wedding gift from Lynn’s parents when she and Sam married four months ago in a small ceremony at her family’s country club. It’s nestled in a nice neighborhood of Lake Worth, with manicured lawns, hedges, and honest to God white picket fences.

Dean hears his sister-in-law laughing from the direction of the back porch and turns his head, smiling at the sight of his overgrown puppy dog of a brother rushing up to help Lynn down the stairs. Lynn stands on her tiptoes as Sam leans down so she can place a kiss on his lips. Then she makes her way over to him with a glass of iced tea. Dean can’t help thinking that she looks radiant in the red sundress, her hair pulled up in a ponytail, feet bare and her round baby bump. He finds it hard to believe it’s been six months already. Dean sneaks a quick kiss to her forehead and thanks her before downing half of the cold beverage.

“When will Cas be here?” she asks as she sits in a lawn chair close by.

Dean flips the hamburger patties before moving away from the heat as a bead of sweat trickles down his back. He sits down near Lynn, “He sent a text about fifteen minutes ago. So twenty minutes maybe? He was in the ‘writer’s zone’ when I left and wanted to get his ideas down. I asked how long he’d be; he just grunted.” Castiel started writing a book based on his travels and findings as an archeologist. He still goes out on digs when he’s needed, but Castiel has been home more often than not. The older man found his niche with writing, and it’s something he really enjoys. 

She giggles. “How’s everything been with the two of you lately?”

“Good,” he answers. “We’re good.” In the almost nine months Dean and Castiel have been dating, they’ve learned a lot about each other. After his brother moved out, there was no buffer between the two men when they got pissed off at each other. They had to learn each other’s quirks, their pet peeves, and not be hot headed and run their mouths without thinking. He misses his brother, but it’s actually nice to have privacy with his boyfriend.

“How’s the construction of the house coming along?” Sam asks as he walks up, taking the chair beside his wife. 

“All the plans are finalized.” Dean started looking for land back in December to purchase in Azle. In a call from his friend, Cole informed him that they could use the land near the back forty to build on if they wanted. It was an offer they simply couldn’t refuse. Dean plans to transfer to Parker County once everything is set for them to move, and he’ll help Cole around the place on his days off.  “The contractors broke ground about a week ago. We should be able to move in about six to seven months as long as everything goes smoothly.”

Sam pushes his long hair back. “It will be nice to have you close by again.”

“I’m not the one who moved over forty minutes away,” Dean smiles at his younger brother, “but I will be glad to be closer to my favorite sister-in-law.”

“I’m you’re only sister-in-law.” Lynn’s grin is big and beautiful, her eyes sparkling in the Spring sun. Dean’s heard some pregnant women glow, and that’s definitely how he would describe her. “So, when are you going to make an honest man out of that handsome boyfriend of yours?”

Both of Dean’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline as he chokes on his mouthful of tea. Sam tries to hide a laugh behind his hand but doesn’t succeed. “Warn a guy before you ask a life altering question like that, would you?” It takes a few more coughs before he can get a hold of himself.  He stands up and walks back over to the grill just to have something to do.

“I’m sorry, Dean, I forget you’re not too fond of the marriage idea,” Lynn replies, amusement still in her voice.”

“It’s not that, Lynn.” Dean takes the spatula and starts poking at the burgers. “That’s just a big step, and we’re doing great right now.” He looks up, past the fence in Sam’s back yard. Neighborhood kids are riding around on bikes, playing hopscotch, and jumping rope, their laughter filling the air around them. A soft smile plays over his face as he watches them. “I see that for us, I do. I just want to give it a little more time.”

He feels a hand on his shoulder and Dean turns slightly to see his brother standing beside him. “So, he’s the one then?”

“Let’s not turn this into a Lifetime movie, Samantha,” Dean says, huffing a laugh when he’s met with one of Sam’s classic bitch faces. He starts plating the burgers and hands them over to his brother to put on the table. “To answer your question, yes, he is.”

“Who is what?” Castiel’s voice comes from behind him, and thankfully, Dean doesn’t jump out of his skin.

He just turns to see his boyfriend smiling; the jackass knows he likely scared the shit out of Dean. “You’re an asshole who likes to give me a heart attack.” Castiel’s eyes narrow, and Dean gives him a lazy smile in return. “And you’re just in time for dinner. Let’s eat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> My ask box is always open :)  
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I apologize taking so long to update. I hope you enjoy.
> 
> I will fix any errors later.

Gravel crunches under the Impala’s tires as Dean pulls up to the two-story country-style house with a wraparound porch. His new home, more importantly, their new home. He parks beside the silver Jeep Grand Cherokee, Castiel’s new vehicle. The man finally broke down and bought one.

The last of his stuff from the apartment sits in boxes in the backseat and trunk. Dean doesn’t bother getting them out, though; he’s focused on seeing what the house looks like somewhat furnished. He donated all of his old stuff when they decided to buy new pieces together. The king-size four-poster bed with a memory foam mattress is possibly the most expensive item in the house, but Dean refused to spare any expense when it came to where they lay their heads at night.

Dean gets out of the car, pulling his jacket around him a little tighter against the December chill as he walks up the porch and into the house. The foyer is bright, and the warmth of the place surrounds him and settles into his bones. There are a few pieces of art hanging on the walls; he has no idea who the artist is, Castiel picked them out, but they’re nice. There’s also some pictures of the older man’s travels that have been enlarged. Dean’s favorite is the pyramids that his boyfriend visited during one of his digs when the man was younger.

To the left is the living room, the colors are deep chocolate brown and clean, crisp whites. Dean’s new flat-screen TV hangs on one wall, taking up the majority of the space. He grins at the thought of curling up on the huge sectional and watching Dr. Sexy, or maybe some of the documentaries that his boyfriend enjoys. Dean picked out the wraparound couch. It has a recliner on each end and is so comfortable it feels like he’s sitting on a cloud. He has to admit that Castiel’s choice of a simple dark wood coffee table fits in well with the rest of the furniture.  

On the mantel above the fireplace rests assorted family pictures. In the middle sits a snapshot of him and Castiel that Lynn took a couple months ago. In the picture, Dean and Castiel are smiling, staring into each other’s eyes like the world around them didn’t exist in that moment. Which is accurate because Dean didn’t know Lynn took a picture of them until she printed it out and gave it to them. Sam’s high school graduation picture is next to it. Dean’s proud of that one, his arm slung over his brother’s shoulder and both of them grinning wide. Sam and Lynn’s wedding day is on the other side and next to it is a picture of the newest Winchester, Henry Michael, Sam and Lynn’s son.   

Dean walks the rest of the way through the house, trying to find his boyfriend. Something smells amazing, so he follows the scent into the kitchen. Castiel’s standing in the middle of the room with back is to Dean. He’s wearing a pair of jeans slung low on his hips and a gray t-shirt. Dean doesn’t have to see the front of the shirt, he knows it’s his. The older man claimed Dean’s AC/DC shirt not too long after they started dating, and he loves seeing Castiel wear it. Maybe it’s a possessive thing, but Castiel wearing Dean’s clothes does things to him. Dean walks up behind the other man and wraps his arms around his waist.  

Castiel drops his head back on his shoulder, and Dean kisses him on the forehead. He eyes the glass of wine sitting to the side of the stove and asks, “Rough day, babe?”

The older man hums. “Just a bit tired from the move, nothing to worry about.”

“I offered to help arrange the furniture after work. Why didn’t you wait?”

Castiel lifts his head and turns around in Dean’s arms. “I wanted to take care of it.”

“You’re stubborn, you know that?” Dean leans his forehead against his boyfriend’s and smiles.

“So I’ve been told,” Castiel gives Dean a chaste kiss and pulls away. “Why don’t you go get changed, and then we can eat dinner.”

* * *

After dinner, Dean and Castiel are lying curled up on the couch, their stomachs full of roast the older man made. The TV is off and classic rock is playing softly in the background.

Castiel moves up a bit, laying his head back on Dean’s chest. “Our first night in our new home. What shall we do?”

“This right here is good,” Dean answers with a smile, “unless you have something else in mind?”

The older man rolls his eyes, but there’s a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I’m too tired for that. Besides, we christened every room of this house two days ago.”

“Mmm, yes we did.” Dean’s arms go around Castiel’s waist when the man shifts again to rest his back against Dean’s chest. That was definitely a fun night to remember. Even though there was no furniture in the house, they didn’t let that stop them. Dean’s knees still have rug burn on them, and he’s pretty sure his back does as well. There’s a bruise on his hips from Castiel’s fingers digging into his skin as the older man ruthlessly fucked him. Castiel didn’t leave without any marks of his own. There are several marks on his back from Dean’s fingernails and a few from his teeth. “I wasn’t thinking about sex anyway. Have to save some energy to unpack the boxes in the morning.”

“Lynn wants to throw us a house-warming party,” Castiel mentions as he rubs his thumbs softly across the back of Dean’s hand. “She left no room for argument.”

Dean huffs a small laugh. “That sounds like Lynn. When is this shindig of hers?”

“She said as soon as we’re settled in and have a day off. I’m sure she’ll call you about it.”

“Sounds good,” Dean replies and muffles a yawn with his hand. It’s been a long day and will be an even longer one tomorrow. Thankfully, he’s off work so he’ll be able to empty the numerous boxes and arrange the stuff in the rooms where they belong. The only thing he’s not touching is Cas’ office that’s next to a half bathroom on the first floor. He’ll help with it, of course, but he knows his boyfriend has a certain order to his books and work-related items.

The guest room right next to theirs is easy and will take no time to situate everything to their liking. They decided to make the room across from the master bedroom into Henry’s room, for when he gets older and wants to spend the night at their house. They also talked about turning it into a nursery later on down the road. The thought brings a smile to Dean’s lips when he realizes how much he wants that. A family with Cas, a child of their own.

Dean rests his chin on top of Castiel’s head. “Hey, after we get everything finished tomorrow, I was thinking about walking down to the creek. Watch the sunset again. We haven’t done that since before we started dating. It’s supposed to be warm, and I thought it would be nice.”

“I’d like that,” Castiel answers around a yawn of his own. “I think I’m going to call it a night. Are you coming with?” He gets up off the couch, not waiting for an answer.

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” Dean swings his legs and pushes himself to his feet. They walk side by side, making sure all the lights are off before walking upstairs. Each man goes through their nightly routine and meets back in the room, and as they lie down Dean pulls his boyfriend close and kisses the man’s shoulder before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

Dean wakes the next morning before Castiel and dresses quickly. They need to unpack the boxes, but he has something to do first. He writes a note, leaves it on the pillows and then softly pads out of the room and walks downstairs. He sends a quick text to his brother to confirm where they are meeting. Dean slips on his shoes, leans against the wall beside the door and ties them without bothering to sit down. Grabbing his keys and his leather jacket, Dean slips out the door and prays to anyone listening that the Impala’s engine doesn’t wake up his sleeping boyfriend. 

The meeting with his brother takes a little over an hour. They catch up on stuff that’s happened since the last time they saw each other. Before they part, they make plans to have dinner at Dean’s place the following weekend.  Dean is back home and cooking breakfast by the time Castiel rolls out of bed. His boyfriend's skin is still sleep warm when he wraps an arm around Castiel’s waist and kisses him on the temple. As soon as the coffee is ready, he pours the older man a cup and points him to the island. When he slides a plate in front of Castiel, but doesn’t make himself one, his boyfriend raises a brow at him. “I’m not hungry,”  he answers the unspoken question. Dean’s still full from the breakfast he had with Sam.

Castiel takes a few bites of his eggs, moaning his appreciation before asking, “Where did you slip off to so early this morning?”

Dean smiles at the man and starts cleaning up the kitchen. This has to be one of his favorite rooms in the house. When they were making the plans for the blueprints, he wanted an island in the middle of the room so they could eat there if they chose to do so. The stainless steel appliances that Castiel picked out are the nicest he's has ever laid eyes on, and Dean knows they’ll enjoy cooking on them. “I went with Sam to pick up a few things.” 

Castiel hums before asking how Sam and the family are. Dean answers the man and mentions that Henry is growing like a weed. He pulls out his phone to show the picture that Sam sent to him. “Hey, I would like to have Christmas here. I mentioned it to Sam but said I wanted to pass it by you first,” Dean says as he turns around and stands with his hip against the counter he just finished cleaning.

He watches Castiel finish his food, stand up and walks over to the sink, placing the used dishes in inside. The older man walks over to him, kisses him lightly on the lips, smiles, and says, “That sounds like a great idea, Sweetheart.”

Dean wraps his arms around Castiel and rests his head on the older man’s shoulder. They stand in silence for a few minutes until Dean says that he needs to start unpacking. He pulls back, kisses Castiel on the forehead, and then releases him to walk into the living room so he can get started for the day.

* * *

Three hours later, Dean is sweaty and starving. Their bedroom is finally in order. The huge four-poster bed sits in the middle of the room. Two black end tables sit on either side, and their new black and white comforter is now in place. A few family pictures are scattered throughout the room, sitting in frames on the end tables, dresser, and a small shelving unit that also holds some of Dean’s favorite books. The cream colored walls are bare for now. Dean left them that way so Castiel can hang more paintings up if he wants to. The walk-in closet was Castiel’s idea, and Dean has to admit he likes being able to move around in it while putting away their clothes.

The master bathroom is finished as well. Dean loves their whirlpool tub and can’t wait to try it out later. It’s big enough to fit the two of them easily. He pulls his shirt off and tosses it in the corner of the room; he’ll have to remember to pick it up later. He finds Castiel in his office, stacking books on the shelf, and he takes a moment just to look at the man. His back is to him, and Dean can see the muscles move under the man’s thin t-shirt as Castiel arranges the books in order. Dean’s tempted to walk over, strip the shirt off of his boyfriend and kiss every inch of skin he can, but his stomach protests with a loud growl. The sound catches Castiel’s attention, and he looks over his shoulder at Dean. “I ordered a couple of pizzas. They should be here in ten to fifteen minutes. I knew neither one of us would feel up to making lunch.”

Dean grins at the man. “Did you get Meat Lovers?”

“Yes, Dean.” Castiel laughs softly and adds, “With extra cheese.”

“Have I told you lately that you’re the best boyfriend ever?” Dean steps farther in the room, walking over to the man to wrap his arms around him.

Castiel grins and turns around, threading his fingers through Dean’s hair and kisses him chastely. “You do at least once a day, sometimes twice.”

“Let’s grab a beer and go sit down for a bit, yeah?” Dean drops his arms, releasing the older man, but grabs his hand and pulls him out of the room. They made a decent dent in unpacking the boxes, and Dean hopes they’ll be finished before they head out to the little creek.

* * *

Later that night, both men are freshly showered and dressed to head out and watch the sunset at the creek. Dean grabs a blanket to lie on the ground, and Castiel grabs a six-pack out of the fridge. There are a few boxes left to sort out, but they can do that tomorrow. Slipping on their coats, the men head out the door; the walk over is quiet, both men just taking in the beauty of their surroundings. It only takes them fifteen minutes to walk to the edge of the property where the small creek runs. Together they lay out the blanket, and Dean sits down first, leaving space between his legs for Castiel to sit. The older man opens a beer for Dean and then one for himself, and then he settles back against Dean’s chest.

A peaceful calm surrounds them as they watch the sun start to set. Other than soft animal calls it’s quiet out as the pinks and oranges start to overtake the blue of the sky. Dean takes a long pull from his bottle and then sets it down. He wraps his arms around Castiel and rests his chin on the man’s shoulder. Dean thinks back to the time they were out here last and how far they’ve come in a little over a year. He wouldn’t change any of it. Everything he went through, that they went through, led them to where they are now and he’s thankful he found the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. The thought makes Dean’s stomach flip a little as he turns his head and presses a kiss to the older man’s neck.

“You okay, babe?” Dean asks softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’ve been quiet the past few days.”

The older man hums and leans a little more into Dean. “I’m fine, Dean. We’ve been so busy lately with moving that we just fall into bed exhausted. I’ll be back to my old self in no time.”

“Are you happy?” Dean’s not sure why he asks the question, but now that it’s out there he holds his breath for the answer.

 Castiel moves a little and turns his head to where he can look up at Dean. “Yes, Dean, I am,” he furrows his eyebrows as he answers. “You make me very happy. What makes you think differently?”

Dean releases his breath. “You know me, Sweetheart,” he says with a shrug. “You make me happy, too.”

His boyfriend grins as he shakes his head slightly. “Good. Now stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“I’m not,” Dean protests as the man turns his head, resting it against his shoulder so he can watch the sky again.

“Yes, you are,” Castiel argues; Dean can hear the smile in his voice even though he can’t see the man’s face. 

Dean huffs a laugh and tightens his arms around the other man. “Yes, I am,” he admits.

“I know you well,” Castiel says and picks up his own beer, taking a pull from it. “I’m not going anywhere, though, so stop worrying.”

“Yes, Sir,” Dean replies seriously. They fall silent for a while, just listening to the crickets chirp out their nightly song as the sky darkens. Taking a deep breath, Dean says, “Babe, I was serious when I said you make me happy. Like crazy happy, and I’ve never had that before.” Before his boyfriend can speak he presses on, it’s now or never. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Castiel reaches back, scratching his nails through the small hairs at the nape of Dean’s neck. “I love you, Dean,” he says softly.

“I love you, too, Cas.” Dean isn’t surprised at how easily those words fall out of his mouth. “So, uh, you wanna change your last name to Winchester?” 

The sharp intake of breath from Castiel is loud as the man moves in his arms, turning so he can face him. “Are you asking me to marry you?”

Dean smiles as he says, “That depends, Cas.”

“Depends on what?” His boyfriend asks, tilting his head.

He takes Castiel’s hands in his, squeezing them slightly as he looks in the man’s eyes. “It depends on if your answer is yes.”

His boyfriend moves quick, catching Dean off guard and his back hits the ground with a soft thud. Dean can’t help the laugh that escapes him when Castiel straddles him. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, baby, I’m serious,” Dean answers. He reaches out, grabbing a hand full of the older man’s shirt and pulls him down. “Will you marry me, Castiel Novak?”

Castiel cover’s Dean’s mouth with his own and Dean opens for his boyfriend when his tongue slides across his lips. Their tongues move together easily, like they’ve been doing this for years. Finally, Castiel breaks the kiss, pulling back only slightly. “Yes, Dean, I’d be happy to change my last name.”

“Hell, yes,” Dean says after another press of their lips. He pushes on Castiel’s chest, guiding the man back so he can sit up. The older man doesn’t move from his lap as Dean fishes in his right pocket. “I was hoping you would say that,” he says as he pulls out a black velvet box and hands it to Castiel. “This is what I went out for this morning.”

The man opens it carefully and even in the dim light, Dean can see his eyes widen and well up with tears. The ring is fourteen karat white gold band about nine millimeters in width with a Meteorite inlay and a rock polished finish. Dean takes the ring out of the box, takes Castiel’s left hand, slipping the ring in place, and then presses a kiss to it. Castiel leans forward, resting his head against Dean’s, and Dean does an internal fist pump at the fact he rendered his fiancé speechless.

After a few minutes of them sharing kisses in between breathing, Castiel moves back and pushes himself to his feet. “Let’s get back home,” he says as he reaches down to help Dean up. “I want to show you what forever will be like for us.”

Dean smiles as he picks up the blanket and shakes it out. He hands the rest of the six-pack to the older man, then reaches out, and slips his hand into Castiel’s, threading their fingers together. “Forever,” Dean says about halfway back to the house. “I love the sound of that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, wow, we're at the end of their journey together. Thank you so much to all my readers. The comments and kudos you left kept me pushing through my writer's block time and time again. This is the last chapter, however, I will write an epilogue soon, but this completes the story for now. I'm not sure when the epilogue will come since I'll be throwing my full attention to the DCBB. And I'm sure I'll write a few times stamps here and there. So stay subscribed. 
> 
> I have a few people I would like to thank.  
> Shawnie, Monica, Melanie, Hannah, Morgan, Dean, Alexandra, and Angie, thank you all for being my sounding board, reading my chapters to make sure they were good and fixing errors when you found them. Y'all have been amazing and I'm truly grateful for your help. 
> 
> Readers- I hope this journey was worth your time and I look forward to your comments. Without you, I am nothing. 
> 
> P.S. You'll find out what happened to Jimmy in a time stamp.
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://winchestersraven.tumblr.com//)


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